How can Madonna, a supernaturally talented genius of cultural performance, fail so spectacularly when she tries to approximate human behavior on-screen? David Schmader, our own supernaturally talented genius of trash cinema, has been chipping away at this question in a monthlong series called Almost Human. Tonight, he presents Body of Evidence—a 1993 sex thriller in which, Schmader says, “Madonna plays a woman so sexy she’s on trial for fucking a man to death. It’s more likely Madonna’s wooden acting gave him splinters and he died of infection. It features Madonna being slapped in the face by Julianne Moore and boned in the butt by Willem Dafoe—and it’s STILL BORING.” (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, 328-3230. 7 pm, $8, all ages.)
Brend an Kiley has worked as a child actor in New Orleans, as a member of the junior press corps at the 1988 Republican National Convention, and, for one happy April, as a bootlegger’s assistant in Nicaragua.... More by Brendan Kiley

This is, by far, my favorite Madonna movie. I bought tickets in advance to this one.
and filmed in Portland in Olympia, she said the NW was such a miserable place that she swore she’d never come back…and she hasn’t.