The cast of NBC’s upcoming I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!—a Survivor-meets-The Surreal Life reality competition—has been announced, and every name on the list deserves both bold type and an exclamation point. To wit:
Kooky-area-kid-made-okay-on-American Idol Sanjaya Malakar!
Psychotic ’70s supermodel Janice Dickinson!
Fake reality stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt!
Celebrity bounty hunter/apologetic racist Duane “Dog” Chapman!
Ousted Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich!
Hinted-at-but-as-yet-unconfirmed: famously assaulted figure skater Nancy Kerrigan!
As for the show’s goals and Blago’s ongoing legal troubles (which hinder his ability to travel freely to foreign countries), NBC issued this statement:
“Ten celebrities of various backgrounds will be dropped into the heart of the Costa Rican jungle to face challenges designed to test their skills in adapting to the wilderness and to raise money for their favorite charities. Rod Blagojevich will be a participant on the show pending the court’s approval.”
The casting, filming, and airing of this show—which will be broadcast Mon-Thurs for four straight weeks in June—will almost certainly secure humanity’s ultimate damnation, but if I get to watch, say, Sanjaya and Rod Blagojevich tunneling through dung together, it will be worth it.
Thank you for your help, Reality Blurred.
UPDATE: As Chicago Fan notes a few posts up, Rod Blagojevich has been denied permission to travel to Costa Rica to tunnel through dung on I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!
This was all foretold in the Book of Revelations.
Read it again, people.
Holy Crap Jesus! I predict Sanjaya will win it all, and at some point will kill and eat Spencer and Heidi.
Is anybody else thinking “international incident”?
I would pay many American dollars to not have to watch said show.
Next season: Sarah Palin. Please, God.
I hate television.
It truly is The End Times…
no talent yucks are one thing, but when you start celebrititizing CRIMINALS, accused or otherwise, that’s setting a new low.
This just sounds dreadful. I’m so glad I got rid of cable.
Wait, it’s on NBC? Fuuuuuuuuuuck…
Oh, come on, Michael — Heidi’s pretty horrible, it’s true, but I wouldn’t call her a CRIMINAL.
@7:
I suppose there’s always a slim possibility one of the “criminals” will either be eaten by a large predator, or succumb to some fatal jungle malady – which would be about the only reason I can think of to watch this piece of drek.
Sigh. Blago will apparently NEVER stop embarrassing us Chicagoans. But at least he won’t be running down our public streets in ill-fitting jogging attire while he’s busy fighting Janice for hair product in the Costa Rican jungles.
Blago denied bail. Who’s Heidi Montag?
This is, like, a joke, right? Please?
Too bad about Rod. I was curious to see how he would maintain his hair during his stay in the jungle.
Man, you people don’t know how to have fun. This is going to be a GREAT program. Watching human refuse suffer stupidly in the jungle? It’s like a dream come true!
I’m waiting for the international sting operation where we get John Yoo and all the other Bush War Criminals to show up on a reality TV show … that turns out to be War Crimes Trials at the ICC!
Man, can you imagine the look on their faces?
this sounds fucking amazing. it stars world’s first supermodel janice dickinson, and anything starring world’s first supermodel janice dickinson has to be fucking amazing.
Viewing parties at my house!
Janice Dickinson was not a supermodel at all, let alone the “World’s First”. I’ll go with Suzy Parker or Lisa Fonssagrives.
Fnarf’s right.
whether or not she actually is the world’s first supermodel is entirely beside the point. she just says she is, and that’s a huge part of why she’s so fucking amazing.
the rest of it is due to the episode of “surreal life” where she reduced bronson pinchot to a sobbing mess by shouting at him about her abusive father. quality television, people. she should have her own channel.
Oh God Brandon, I’d forgotten about Janice decimating Bronson Pinchot. That was legitimately upsetting, which seems to be The Surreal Life’s stock in trade. (See drunk-and-naked Verne Troyer urinating on the floor from the seat of his mini-scooter.)
Oh, I’m sorry I missed that. I will concede that she is a nutter and likely to be a better addition to any show than any real supermodels.
True. She gives good TV.
this is solid gold. please do it.
Needs to be a Last-One-Out-ALIVE sort of thingy.