It is uncommon to find a film that is both the height of bad-crappy
and the height of bad-iniquitous. The best way to describe The Ugly
Truth is to say that Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler have created
satanic vomit.

The ladies: They are controlling and they do not masturbate (it’s
“impersonal,” you know) and they talk about their problems and their
hair is not long enough to grab onto during sex and they have cats (and
those cats are named d’Artagnan) and they are picky about men and their
breasts don’t sit up like they should for a greeting. Abby (Heigl) is
such a lady.

Mike (Butler) is a man whose talk show, The Ugly Truth, is tainting
Abby’s TV news network. (On the other planet of this movie, it is still
possible to taint TV news.) Mike is going to help Abby find the guy of
her dreams… if you know what I mean, which you do. You know that the
movie will end with a kiss and in a hot-air balloon. Maybe you do not
know that the best way to make a lady loosen up is to make her come in
public using vibrating panties remote-controlled by a prepubescent
boy?

“Here’s a bra,” Mike tells Abby. “Boobies in this thing say put me
in your mouth—I taste good.”

“If we ask you how you’re doing, it’s just guy code for let me stick
my dick in your ass.” (So that explains all those awkward
encounters!)

“You’re all about comfort and efficiency, and the problem with
comfort and efficiency is that nobody wants to fuck it!”

Ladies, what the hell have you been doing? You’re such assholes.
You’re going to die alone, bereft even of masturbation skills. Shoot
yourselves now. recommended

Jen Graves (The Stranger’s former arts critic) mostly writes about things you approach with your eyeballs. But she’s also a history nerd interested in anything that needs more talking about, from male...

7 replies on “The Ugly Truth: Ladies, Kill Yourselves Now”

  1. It’s funny to be that Katherine Heigl admitted to Vanity Fair in 2008 that Knocked Up was “a little bit sexist”…and then she chooses to star in this crap…

  2. #1 beat me to the punch. I thought Knocked Up was wonderfully flawed but not sexist. It made me think she might have a chance at being a decent actress. Ugly Truth looks awful. So much for Heigl’s moral’s.

  4. @3: Please. Every other country produces roughly the same ratio of crappy comedies to excellent comedies that America does, it’s just that the crappy comedies don’t get the funding to be released overseas.

  5. the stupid shallow absurd movies that pass for entertainment are a reflection of a stupid shallow culture that pays money and thinks this is entertainment and good. otherwise why would we have very young teens giving blow jobs and thinking boys will like you if you do. women we get what we create. we have allowed men to be pigs and thoughtless and characterless and accepted that as ok. we create our reality. may be some day, we will wake up and create a better one, where we demand respect and character and create that in ourselves as well………………….but I doubt it

  6. The only reason to see this movie is to escape the freakish heat this week in an air conditioned theater. And honestly, I think I’ll take my chances with heat stroke.

Comments are closed.