Hey, here’s an idea: Maybe we don’t let Jon Lucas and Scott
Moore write movies anymore. Eh? EH? In the past half-decade alone,
these dudes have subjected us to Four Christmases (“I want them
all to drown in their own eggnog vomit,” wrote Jen Graves), Ghosts
of Girlfriends Past (“One suspects that this screenplay was written
not by a professional human writer, but by Matthew McConaughey’s
actual penis,” wrote me), Full of It (big-screen vehicle
for Ryan Pinkston, that man-child thing who used to be on
Punk’d), and Rebound (Martin Lawrence something something
basketball something fart). WHY ARE THESE HUMANS STILL EMPLOYED? For
that matter, what are the rules for a “citizen’s arrest”? Is that
really a thing? Do I need to show my papers?
Not only are Lucas and Moore still employed and roaming unshackled
on city streets (THAT MY TAXES PAY FOR!), they’re behind The
Hangover, the new R-rated comedy that is so outrageous and
so busy generating so much buzz that a sequel is already
in the works. Hollywood, you are really a piece of shit, do you
know that? Who pooped you out and called you an industry, Hollywood?
Because whoever pooped you out called, Hollywood, on the toilet phone,
and they want their poop back. (What? Why would someone want their poop
back? Not my problem! Fertilizer? Sentimental value? For their records?
Listen, shut up.)
The Hangover is a waste of a fairly genius premise (three
dudes wake up after an all-night Vegas rampage with a baby, a tiger,
and amnesia). It stars quite a few of the funniest persons working in
comedy today: Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper (not just a
beautiful face and boday, you guys!), Jeffrey Fucking Tambor, Rob
Riggle, Matt Walsh, Mike Tyson, and a baby. (The baby’s
performance is epic.) The direction (by Old School‘s Todd
Phillips) is adequate enough to produce a functioning narrative. But
Lucas and Moore wouldn’t know a good joke if it was their loyal old
dog/best friend who defended them from a rabid wolf and then, with
breaking hearts, they had to shoot it in the head. They’d just go,
“Haha, gay,” and then they’d be like, “Dude, write that down!” and then
in summer of 2010, America would rush to the Cineplex to watch Old
Yeller 2: Rabies? More Like Gay-bies!
There are funny moments, definitely (really!), but approximately all
of them involve whatever’s happening between Zach Galifianakis’s neck
and Zach Galifianakis’s hair. Because the dude is a comedy treasure
(and if this movie causes him to “jump” any “sharks” like my
beloved Jack Black, I am prepared to fight everyone [FYI: I HAVE WOLF
RABIES]). The stuff that’s actually written down is mostly cheap gay
jokes (“Paging Dr. Faggot!”) and cheaper
OMG-I-can’t-believe-they-went-there jokes (“Our best friend Doug is
probably face down in a ditch somewhere with a methhead buttfucking his
corpse”). Please. I laughed harder at Old Yeller. 
Why are you “reviewing” something that is obviously not targeted at you? Doesn’t THE STRANGER have any dudes who get dude humor? I haven’t seen the film yet, but it is OBVIOUSLY meant to be enjoyed by 20/30 something men who are stuck in the limbo of life that happens when we are pretty much forced into the world that is douche-baggery. For more on that, see inside any frat house / military unit / mans sock drawer.
If Hollywood is a piece of shit, what does that say about a person who makes their living (in part) reporting on the output of said piece of shit?
What is wrong with you people? Don’t be bitter just because this review is obviously funnier than the movie is going to be.
And for the record, I don’t think Zach is capable of jumping the shark. If his role on Tru Calling didn’t do it, nothing will.
Hollywood expects us to fork out $9-13 on this crap based on a thirty second commercial. They don’t care about making real quality products.
The Stranger’s free, as is the website you’re commenting on. Lindy just saved me ~$10.
@3
seriously, about the zack part. The man has done nothing but bit roles in terrible movies before this, I think he’s content funding his stand-up with a couple random paychecks.
“Damnit! I was this close to getting Kangaroo Jack!”
Best. Review. Ever. That is all.
Dear Lindy West,
I have never been compelled to write to The Stranger before, being happy just sitting back and waiting for a new issue to arrive in my PCC, outside the post office, or somewhere left behind on a ferry…
but today is the day that I come to this website to say, LINDY WEST: YOU ARE AWESOME.
I laughed out loud, giggled wildly, expressed myself with uncontrollable smiles and chuckles when I read your review of the 1832 man porn. Then I came to this, your metaphored-up article with poop swimming in between.
Then I remember fondly your review of the latest Michael McGhonennahosny mess, and I realize you rock.
You rock my world, my reading experience, and all that other stuff.
Thank you Lindy West for bringing a smile to my face and laughter into my empty (at times) little house in the woods.
I wish there was a more suitable way of getting in contact with you, sending you a real letter to the Stranger main-box, and having it published for all to see.
Alas, I am stuck here in the comment page – but I hope you read these things.
Have a BEAUTIFUL DAY!
jrs
Dear Lindy West,
I have never been compelled to write to The Stranger before, being happy just sitting back and waiting for a new issue to arrive in my PCC, outside the post office, or somewhere left behind on a ferry…
but today is the day that I come to this website to say, LINDY WEST: YOU ARE AWESOME.
I laughed out loud, giggled wildly, expressed myself with uncontrollable smiles and chuckles when I read your review of the 1832 man porn. Then I came to this, your metaphored-up article with poop swimming in between.
Then I remember fondly your review of the latest Michael McGhonennahosny mess, and I realize you rock.
You rock my world, my reading experience, and all that other stuff.
Thank you Lindy West for bringing a smile to my face and laughter into my empty (at times) little house in the woods.
I wish there was a more suitable way of getting in contact with you, sending you a real letter to the Stranger main-box, and having it published for all to see.
Alas, I am stuck here in the comment page – but I hope you read these things.
Have a BEAUTIFUL DAY!
jrs
i just saw the movie. i thought it was great. it stayed goofy til the very end instead of trying to segway into a serious plot after 30 minutes of laughs. the author of this review was obviously biased against jon lucas and scott moores previous work (perhaps rightfully so) and developed the-boy-who-cried-wolf-syndrome, looking for demons that werent there, and never giving this movie a fair chance.
the “tweeker fucking dougs corpse” line could be a reference to the nymphomania that is a common side effect of long term meth addiction rather than gay bashing. at least ive never heard of necrophilia be a stereotypical gay affliction. in fact, the effeminate gay character in this movie kicked serious ass (not the common stereotype of a weak queer). stop imagining bigotry everywhere you go or no one will listen to us when there really is something degrading or offensive that needs to be criticized.
i will concede the “paging dr. faggot” line, although it did seem to be intentionally illustrating the immaturity of that sort of behavior. bottom line: the crass, bitter tone of this review is more obnoxious than anything in the movie she is criticizing.
i just saw the movie. i thought it was great. it stayed goofy til the very end instead of trying to segway into a serious plot after 30 minutes of laughs. the author of this review was obviously biased against jon lucas and scott moores previous work (perhaps rightfully so) and developed the-boy-who-cried-wolf-syndrome, looking for demons that werent there, and never giving this movie a fair chance.
the “tweeker fucking dougs corpse” line could be a reference to the nymphomania that is a common side effect of long term meth addiction rather than gay bashing. at least ive never heard of necrophilia be a stereotypical gay affliction. in fact, the effeminate gay character in this movie kicked serious ass (not the common stereotype of a weak queer). stop imagining bigotry everywhere you go or no one will listen to us when there really is something degrading or offensive that needs to be criticized.
i will concede the “paging dr. faggot” line, although it did seem to be intentionally illustrating the immaturity of that sort of behavior. bottom line: the crass, bitter tone of this review is more obnoxious than anything in the movie she is criticizing.
LW.. Pull the twig out of your ass. The movie was funny. Best this summer by a long shot. In fact, the first funny movie in a long damn time that broke the log jam of 30 watt bulbs they have been selling us as humor. Soft shock humor is nothing to get bent about. Corpse fucking is funny. The “Paging Dr. Faggot”line… hrrrm? I think it’s important to remember that humor is paid with the expense account of others. *see the Three Stooges.* Strong language, yes. Part of an underlying anti-gay message? Not so much. Lighten up. I truly don’t believe this to be offensive. At least not as offensive as any of Jack Blacks supper flops. Those are a real turd in the old punch bowl. Anyway, if Jack Black, Adam Sandler,and America’s Funniest Home Videos make you laugh, this movie might not be your flavor. If you like humor a bit raw… enjoy.
Hank
I am putting a comment in, almost two years on, and in advance of the sequel “Hangover 2” coming out. The comment is: this movie was a tiny bubble of shit with a little yokelfart trapped in. FUCK the Hangover, I god damn hated it. It sucked in the same way that past-it guys suck when they blow on about how wasted they got at some place back in 2006, remember that man, we were so fucking WASTED. YEAH remember that man? Fuck off and Fuck off 2.