It’s true. Today the nation’s most aimless noticer turns 91 years old. To celebrate, please enjoy this classic bit of Roonolalia, cherry-picked by WOW Report.

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...

18 replies on “Have You Ever Noticed That Andy Rooney Isn’t Dead Yet?”

  1. He wants her teeth? What? Fudge discussions? “I like christmas presents!”

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

    I would ask how much this man gets paid to do this, but I’d weep in my cubicle.

  2. It this for real? At first I thought it was a joke and then it appeared unedited and then I thought maybe he was making fun of himself.
    His material has been mildly entertaining over the years but this one is just spooky in its lack of humor.

  3. Museum Catalog…the must sell museums! LOLOLOLOLOL! That’s some good shit Rooney. HAHAHAHAHA. Oh wait, I let the valve open on this NO2, that explains the laughter.

  4. You will all be sorry when he’s actually gone, and nobody remembers a world before pocket germ-eliminators.

    I could listen to him mocking catalog promotions all day.

  5. And this year’s Emmy award for “Bushiest Eyebrows” goes to….ANDY ROONEY!!! This is Andy’s thirtieth time winning this award; let’s all give Andy and his mite infested eyebrows a big hand!!

  6. You know, after thinking about this a bit, I somewhat agree with #8; I just wish Rooney were a more trenchant curmudgeon. Now I will cease thinking about Andy Rooney for the rest of the day.

    Oh, Schamader, loved your “…most aimless noticer…” quip. Quite funny that.

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