Hey, were you guys wondering what my face has to say about a bunch of two-year-old movies? Because GREAT NEWS: While poking around the bowels of my computer I discovered some old video reviews I recorded in 2009 and then never did anything with (grammar!). So I figured I might as well edit them and upload them to YouTube so you guys can make fun of my haircut. Here is the first one, Rob Zombie’s Halloween II!
Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more.... More by Lindy West
More!
Ah, the ol’ walk ‘n stab. A favorite summertime hobby.
Okay, that was funny.
Also: due to my apparent inability to comprehend what I’m reading, I watching the first 90 seconds thinking the topic was SNL’s Mike Myers. Fact: still funny.
@3 – Mike Myers is much better at stabbing, and he can get on a plane like anybody else.
FUCKING. HILARIOUS. Thank you for this.
Yes!! More!!
One question Lindy forgot: Who taught Michael Myers to drive?
How many drivers ed instructors did that take?
“OK, Michael, seatbelt’s AAAAAAAHHHnnnhxcz.”
If you’re unfamiliar with this story, and that is certainly to your credit, Michael Myers, as a 6-year-old in 1963, fileted his older sister with a serious kitchen knife while wearing a clown’s mask on Halloween night. For this he was committed to a psychiatric hospital, but escaped on a rainy night 15 Halloweens later (he’d be 21 if you’re scoring) when the late Donald Pleasance as Dr. Sam Loomis drove up to the hospital on his regularly scheduled visit to ensure that Michael “never, ever, ever gets out.”
In this scene we meet the adult Michael, diving over the roof of Loomis’ station wagon, commandeering the vehicle and squealing out onto an Illinois highway bound for Haddonfield, the scene of his original atrocity. Once there, he cruises around town inconspicuously, signals for turns, parallel parks, all as though he’d been driving for years.
If they had offered drivers ed at the psychiatric hospital, would they start with the homicidal maniacs do you think?
“This guy’s the living embodiment of evil, but he’s got great hand-eye coordination; let’s teach him to drive.”
funny women = so hot.
🙂
@9 — Thanks NotSean! I have to confess, it’s not original — I lifted it from an old Gene Collier column. It’s still a great question though!