But then I met The Real Housewives of New Jersey, whose Bravo series premiered this week and holy crapoly.
Fact #1: In this age of identity politics and political correctness and growing human decency, one of the only groups available for guilt-free mockery is stupid rich folks who willingly put their stupid lives on TV. Thus, the Real Housewives shows come with none of the icky residue of, say, Cops, where desperate people in desperate situations are exploited for cheap TV. Instead, we get desperate people in extravagantly advantageous situations allowing themselves to be exploited for cheap TV, which makes all the difference in the world.
Fact #2: The Real Housewives of New Jersey was apparently designed by God especially for me and my blessedly returned dude. I love The Sopranos and Showgirls, he loves Lifetime movies and documentaries about child beauty pageants, and this show is the closest thing there’s been to a fusion of the four. Also, as previews of the season have shown, at least one upcoming episode involves one real housewife of New Jersey yelling at another real housewife of New Jersey about “PROSTITUTION WHORES!”, which is the best thing anyone’s ever said.
New episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey air Tuesday at 10pm, and are repeated mercilessly throughout the week. (Hurrah! And fun drinking game: Every time someone does something horribly inappropriate in front of their children, CHUG!)
I’d seen bits of the earlier ones, and wished I’d liked them a bit better. So this one has me peeing my pants. The vague Sopranosyness, the cash on hand, the snap judgments. Hooray!
Yes, doubtful, why not, if they’re real, and not unless I were drunk.
Apparently having a state income tax, doesn’t hold back incomes.
Only the stong survive
Is it a rule that these women have to stand with their legs wide open?
I think my favorite part so far is that woman Teresa whose totally guido husband is “an entrepreneur who owns a construction company.” Mob, what?
Right, if I wanted to listen to a shrill italian-american woman from the east coast berate people and act like she’s better than everyone, I’d go stay with my grandmother.
Pass.
Personally, I think this one will be great.
At least the Duchess won’t get dumped for a younger model like in NY.
Actually, Dexter, I think his dad was found in a trunk with lots of bullet holes, so you’re not that far from the truth (or was that the other NJ wife …)
Prostitution whores is infinitely better than vile sodomite.
Never underestimate the staggering drawing power of the Garden State… BRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUCCCCCEEE
Do they say “whore” like “hoo-uh”?
@5: Gotsta air thangs out, yaknow?
@6 … totally MOB!! Did you see how she shelled out CASH for $120K worth of furniture?! Fucking CASH!!!
@14… Clearly you never had a christmas at your house where the gifts “fell off a truck”… You say that like its a bad thing?
OMG, I happened to watch the “preview” segments that aired last month or whenever. The real title of the show should be “The Real Mobwives of New Jersey” – its just absolutely ghastly. I mean THESE are the people who have gifted us with the current global economic meltdown, and we are presented with the trash that they’ve spent our billions on.