If you had a fatal disease, would you want to know? This question lies at the heart of a 2016 This American Life segment called “What You Don’t Know” by Lulu Wang. Her 80-year-old grandmother, known as Nai Nai, had been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and given three months to live. The doctor wanted to put Nai Nai in the hospital and start aggressive treatment. Instead, her family decided not to tell her she was sick at all.
Wang’s family was divided into two camps. The relatives in China (where Nai Nai lived), who spent more time with her and took care of her, didn’t want to tell her because they thought she would give up on life. They worried Nai Nai would get overwhelmed with fear and depression. They saw it as a kindness not to burden her with this knowledge, and they believed it would actually prolong her life. The relatives living in the United States, including Wang, thought she should know—they had been inoculated with the American belief of the rights of the individual above all else.