I hadn’t noticed that the print ads for the Jonas Brothers movie shows little girls reaching for their junk until I watched this clip of the latest South Park episode (via Sullivan)…
…but it’s true. In fact the reaching-for-Jonas-junk in Disney’s actual ad is more pronounced than the reaching-for-Jonas-junk is in South Park‘s parody of the ad. Here’s the ad in this morning’s New York Times:
The hand of the little girl on the far right—who appears to be wearing a rubber glove (she planning to fist that boy?)—is practically on top of the junk of the homeliest Jonas. That’s, er, um… hot?
Being a no teevee household, I frequently miss the art that is South Park.
Disney’s been cashing in on pubescent pussy sweat for a few decades now. It’s considered wholesome as long as there is no actual touching going on. Touching would be naughty. But it’s perfectly OK to make ‘tweenie girls obsess about what’s in those pants.
And the purity rings – more than just clueless. 17 to 22-year-old boys/men who are rock stars and who have poon thrown in their faces all day don’t forgo acting upon their temptations. That isn’t how the world works.
But it’s all gotta be pure and innocent, right? I mean, it’s Disney. Watch the Disney Channel sometime when they are showing those adolescent sitcoms and observe what Disney portrays as a typical family. It’s so depressingly off the scale.
I think Walt, who was neither saint nor soothsayer, would be a little uneasy about what’s going on. This sure ain’t Spin and Marty.
My parents got me a purity ring in high school. It just made me think about sex even more than I already was.
Bauhaus: believe it or not some people can stifle their natural sexual urges for many different reasons and it happens all the time. I don’t see why the Jonas brothers are any different.
@1, Trey & Matt have every episode of South Park to date online for free now, to stream at southparkstudios.com — no TV necessary. Sometimes there’s a blackout time for the new episodes, but they all end up there.
I think that’s a stretch, though, to claim that ad shows girls “reaching for the Jonas Brothers’ junk” — the girls could be just as easily seen as reaching for their shoes, or hands, or guitar picks. The Jonas Bros. are a particularly weak target to go after (Oh no! dull, manufactured pop marketed to preteens! That’s never been done!), but not every episode can be a gem. Disney’s creepy as fuck for a million other reasons, mostly having to do with its cultlike status with people who get married at its colorful plastic parks and live swathed in its icons.
Bullshit. the Jonas Brothers have no junk to grab. They’re animatronic, right?
The phenomenon of exploiting the pussy sweat of young girls goes back AT LEAST as far as 1939-40, when Frank Sinatra famously didn’t leave a dry seat in the house at the Paramount Theater.
Ah, purity rings! That makes me nostalgic for my own school days….when school kids were taught comprehensive sex-ed and there was nary a virginity ball in sight. I fondly recall my eighth grade health teacher preparing us for high-school by having us practice putting condoms on bananas. When we actually got to high-school we were given a glimpse into the grim future of sex-ed. We were shocked when our health teacher told us all about vaccines for herpes and other STDs that existed in Europe, but weren’t FDA approved in the U.S. We naively thought it must be because they (along with RU486) weren’t safe or effective. No, he told us, they weren’t available in the U.S. because the religious folks thought it would encourage teenagers/unwed folks to have extramarital sex. We were stymied since teenagers, unwed folks, and married folks were already having as much sex as they wanted anyway without the vaccines and abortion pill. We were shocked such illogical belief was allowed to dictate public policy in medicine. How could religion dictate government and law? America was a secular nation. Bwah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Oh, yeah, write or call your local congress-person about supporting Congresswoman Louise Slaughter (NY-D) Prevention First Act so teenagers can return to butt-fucking for pleasure rather than the misguided belief they’ll stay virgins. Only you can prevent Bristol Palin’s next unplanned pregnancy.
A few things…
1) Purity rings always sound like nuvarings.
2) I don’t think it’s a glove. I think it’s the wrist-band that you get at concerts. What freaks me out is how much higher that one hand is compared to all the others. And usually wristbands and such are for people who are drinking? Possibly not? Creepy either way. Maybe the Jonas Bros are just trying to exorcise that poor girl who’s limbs have gone akimbo due to being possessed. Just a thought.
Dan, go back to the bong to chill you own imagination … projection is the concept
Of course, bothe Dan and Disney sell sex … it works
I want the video showing the Jonas brothers all fucking in a group a never ending bevy of virgins … Vegas like hotel?
Only vagina adverse old males would not appreciate strong sex stuff in the future mommies of the world – very natural – sorry gay boys.
That was a fun episode. Loved the bit about the foam as well as the twist in the final scene.
Given that the average age of a typical Jonas Brothers fan is what? – around 11 years old, I’m guessing most of them are simply too short to reach any higher than that.
Also, I’m guessing the image is considerably foreshortened due to the long focal length of the lens that was no doubt required for the photographer to get that shot from the back of the house or stadium or wherever it was taken, so in actuality, those little girls hands are probably separated from the stage by a security barrier at least six to eight feet deep.
They’re not reaching for junk, Dan, they’re just reaching in the general direction of their flavor-of-the-month heart-throbs.
Yucca Flower @ 7: Your high school health teacher got you on the conspiracy theory bandwagon young, I see. You might want to do some simple googleing before making a fool of yourself with the o-so-englightened-Europeans tripe. You could quickly find out that:
1. Herpes vaccine trials in the U.S. and Europe show that currently available vaccines confer only a slightly increased resistence, nothing close to the near-complete immunity people think of when they think “vaccine”.
2. For this reason, no European country has made any Herpes vaccine part of its standard vaccine regimen. In fact, the only STD vaccine I am aware of that has become part of any country’s standard regimen is the HPV vaccine, which is standard in the U.S. but not most of Europe.
3. Rates of herpes and other STDs vary tremendously among European countries, but averages are broadly in line with U.S. rates. No European country has managed to eradicate or nearly eradacate herpes or any other STD that the U.S. hasn’t.
@2:
One of them–Spin or Marty–was gay. I think it’s Tim Consodine. And Walt knew it but hushed it up.
I asked my 11 year old niece today if she wanted a Jonas Brothers CD and she said she didn’t like them…I was so proud of her.
I want Joe’s junk though. I’ll bet it sparkles.
My friend Jeff’s son – also a Jeff – works on the show and did the Mickey animation. Since I never watch it, he sent me the link and I laughed so hard it hurt. Especially the part where the TV guy asks if the girls loved the Jonas Brother’s white foam in the face.
@ David Wright,
Yeah, we may know now that those vaccines have only limited effectiveness, but that’s not why there were no clinical trials in the U.S. at the time (which was back when the Population Council was trying to get approval for RU486). RU 486 (and the vaccines) were not allowed into the U.S. because the fundies (backed by Bush #1) thought it would encourage extramarital sex. Letting religion dictate drug approval is bad science and bad medicine.
Alright Yucca flower! I agree with you. And by the way….letting religion dictate ANYTHING when much of our population is not religious, is just plain stupid and wrong! I am extremely tired of one group’s belief system trying to rule over any other group. Do some research-you will be amazed at what the fundies continuously dictate-wake up out there! About 20 % of our population is not religious at all (according to surveys), I believe it is a much higher number but people are afraid to admit they no longer believe.