A blockbuster reboot that fucking GOES FOR IT.
An upbeat mix of weaponized nostalgia, product placement, Chris Pratt 2.0, CGI monsters, and light misogyny, 2015’s Jurassic World delivered everything modern moviegoers demand! Thus it became the fifth-highest grossing movie of all time.
Which means you are legally obligated to see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, in which the dinosaurs are so goofy that I swear to god they get THIS CLOSE to talking. All of cinema will be for naught if the next one of these doesn’t give a velociraptor a heartfelt monologue. (“WASSSS ONLEEE IN KITCHENNNN BECAUSSSSSE WANNNTED ICE CREEEEEAM”)