Before I can give Justice League a fair critical assessment, one thing must be said: For the first third of the movie, Aquaman swims in JEANS. That alone is an abomination that can never be forgiven—because I can accept an Aquaman that doesn’t have gills, or even fins… but if you expect me to accept an Aquaman that swims in jeans, you are eternally fucked in the head.
Thanks for that aside. Now, despite the previously mentioned abomination, Justice League is not all bad. However, it is mostly not good. The plot starts off shaky enough, by depicting the denizens of Earth as extremely bummed out. As we remember from Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, the Man of Steel is dead—and Earth is now open to all sorts of alien shenanigans, because c’mon! There’s no longer a super strong white man around to protect it!