“The Word” is required viewing…

Kind of heartbreaking in a way, isn’t it?

62 replies on “Last Night’s Colbert Report”

  6. The only heartbreaking thing is that the people of RI and D.C would have to put up with the jester edicts from a clown like Colbert who doesn’t even reside in either of said places but yet still feels compelled to take a cheap-shot at the residents, their values and institutions.

  10. @7 Really? Seems as tho he is the one instigating ridicule and whatever else his fans can add against the Catholic church, the governor and the people of RI and DC.

    Must be lovely to have a celebrity who lives in a secluded elitist world like Manhattan focus his comically veiled vitriol agaisnt your community, neighborhood, state and religion. But so long as he does it with a wink a prop stick at hand then he really isn’t taking a cheap shot at them, it’s all in good fun.

  11. Let me get this straight, Loveschild… If Colbert was a down home Rhode Islander or DC native you would have no problem with what he just said?

    Must suck for you then to find out he was born in DC and grew up catholic.

    ouch.

    Might wanna do some research before you go spewing your idiocy all over the place. Of course, as soon as i saw the cross on your avatar I knew thats all we were going to get from you.

  12. Loveschild, if you want people to stop making fun of your way of life, then stop trying to force it on others. You were mean to us first. Don’t complain when people fight against your attempts to oppress people. Why is it so hard to understand that when you oppress people, they are going at minimum, make fun of you? Do unto others for fuck’s sake. If Christianists could stop being total assholes for five minutes, people would stop calling them assholes.

  13. Actually, Stephen Colbert is a Catholic himself. I think he’s angry at what they are doing in DC but he’s not attacking the religion as a whole. Also, he doesn’t live in Manhattan, not that it should matter if he did.

    I loved this so much. I wish it were required viewing. 🙂

  14. I reside in RI.

    It’s pronounced Car-cherry. (Or Car-chi-ari). One of the two. But not

    Car-see-ary.

    Also, I fucking hate Carcherry. He’s an ass. He vetoed what had already been passed; what most residents already wanted. Elect Colbert.

    In other news, has anybody seen the Cracked article on personality disorders created by the internet. Google it since I can’t link it. I think Loveschild fits the self-abusive one. Point being, ignore her, like an attention seeking child or dog, but reward good behavior.

  15. @10 Actually, he lives in NJ. Within very short driving distance of Conservo-ville, NJ, where I’m from. And he grew up in South Carolina, a red state, and is a Catholic himself. Sorry about the fail, there.

  16. Loveschild, I said it before and I’ll say it again. I hope and pray (to your god, not mine -I’m an atheist- or satan, or anyone or thing that can make this happen pretty please), and wish, and dream that your kids are gay. Even better, that your kids AND your husband are gay. Oh pretty please universe, let this terrible human be forced to have to judge and cut herself off from those closest to her and die alone. Please please please. Thank you.

  17. Ps. I wish I were as big and forgiving a person as kim in portland. Sadly, I really do wish for the above. Oh well, I have peace with my own dark desires.

  19. Loveschild is another one of these fundamentards who isn’t used to be made fun of. Suck it up–you chose your religion, no one chose their sexuality. And I’ll laugh at your kind (yes, doesn’t being generalized feel so great?) when yet another priest gets caught diddling some kid. Trip and drown in the shit you spew out into the world.

  21. Stephen Colbert isn’t just Catholic (before LC accuses him of being lapsed or a fake Catholic) – he even teaches Sunday school. He’s quite Catholic.

    And the Catholic church in DC =/= DC. If DC residents elected councilmembers who pass this legislation, that is representing the values of DC residents. In fact, as you can see by Googling “pastors unite to support same-sex marriage” there are plenty of people IN D.C. who support same-sex marriage, including many people of faith.

    But Loveschild of course has to conflate her opinions and the opinions of conservative Christians with those of everyone else. The fact is that D.C. residents support gay marriage (and in fact, pioneered on registered partnerships back in *1992*). And there are plenty in DC with religions that support gay marriage. And DC has a large gay community. Passing gay marriage is in line with most of DC’s communities, their values and religions.

    It turns out that the RCC has a problem with most of D.C.’s community and values.

    It’s also turns out that polls show that a majority of Rhode Islanders support gay marriage – and nearly a supermajority support civil unions. And I’m sure that for these funeral issues, you’d get an even higher portion.

    But in Lovechild’s world, when the Republican governor does something, when a liberal criticizes him, this means that they’re demeaning the residents of that state with vitriol.

    I would guess that more likely is that they would be insulted by you presuming to speak for them from your position of ignorant bigotry, LC.

  22. Let me get this right, Loveschild. I understand you don’t want to allow me to get married. I disagree, but I understand that. Lots of people agree with you, obviously.

    But you agree with this clown from RI? You seriously think I shouldn’t even be allowed to bury my partner of 25 years, should he die before me? Just who do you think should bury him? His parents are deceased. His siblings live on the east coast, and rarely see him.

    I understand you not wanting to grant marriage rights (even if I disagree), but you wouldn’t even allow me the right to bury a dead partner? Man, that is some cold shit. If your god exists, I hope you have fun explaining that one to him if you ever meet him.

  23. It is so infuriating that all I get is a black screen with ‘Sorry, Videos not currently available in your country’ on it! Is there any way that we in the UK can see the clip? I love Colbert!

  24. @23 beat me to it…

    Don’t let loveschild distract you away from the real issue here.

    This particular issue isn’t about gay marriage at all. It’s about death, funeral, and burial rights.

    Loveschild, are you really against allowing this? I understand you oppose gay marriage and I disagree with that, but this is a different issue.

    Are you opposed to this deceased man being buried as he requested? Simply because he’s gay? Why?

  26. Is there a law against shouting “fire!” in an empty theatre? That’s how it must feel for Trollette who thinks that her ignorant intolerance for sexual reality and misguided, uncharitable Christianity is going to convince anyone to jump the fence where she fulminates and stirs a steaming heap of cowshit, hoping to convert the inconvertible. Go home, honey and preach to some other choir – not the deaf one you’re raggin’ on here.

  28. Ugh, I’ve gotten too far behind on watching Jon & Stephen.

    Okay, the gay zombies part was great, but it was the sidebar note of “Don’t ask how the gates got pearly” that really made me laugh. “The Word” really is the best part of his show.

  29. Headstone and Pearly Gates have to be two of the funniest and lewdest sidebars in the history of The Word. I am so in love with Stephen Colbert and his writers.

  30. loveschild doesn’t know what she /it thinks anymore.. she/it was for civil unions awhile ago.. any rights..as long as ‘they’ don’t call it marriage..so fine then. but then she declared ‘war’..then she/it.. was against against ‘activist judges’ and thought the people should decide per ‘ popular vote ‘.. then r71 hit so she/it decided that the popular voter were ‘deceived’ ..well.. then she/it changed she/its mind again and went back to her god/righteous talk and discovered that she/its losing ground with the catholic church and the populace of d.c.and salt lake and buenos aires.. and then all sorts of cities , municipalities, countries and even faith based systems are thinking and deciding for themselves on a variety of rights issues, all contrary to the insane values that l.c. doggedly holds to
    …she/it…..is hitting the fan..

  32. The killer part of the whole thing, to me, is all the government agencies and employees who refused to pay attention to all the legal documentation that Goldberg had (will, living will, power of attorney) showing that he had the right to go get his partner’s body. He didn’t need a new law specifically covering funeral rights, he need the existing laws to be enforced. Power of attorney is for REAL. Or, the government could quit with the half-measures bullsh!t and just legalize gay marriage already. -LStarr

  33. Recently I have started to believe, as many, that Loveschild is either a sockpuppet, planted by the Stranger, or the most ignorant person God ever blew breath into.

    In this very thread, she chastises Colbert for interfering in another state’s/church’s process of saving traditional marriage. A state/religion she believes Colbert not a resident or member of. Yet, in just recent past articles she stated how she “interfered” in the Maine vote against same-sex marriage, by actively working to help defeat, at the ballot box. A state she has NO ties to, in residence.

    Therefore, she/it is either a plant, specifically place by the Stranger to engage Sloggers, or she/it is a hypocrite to the nth degree.

    Either way, I’ve simply chosen to ignore her/it from this point forward.

  34. I still think Loveschild is a 14-year old boy who doesn’t think his parents should be able to get mad when he calls people ‘fags’ on X-box Live.

  35. LC, your comment applies equally to any out-of-state commenter or organization that inserts itself into any of these debates. Wait, that means you have to shut the fuck up now too? Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot that what applies to you doesn’t apply to anyone else.

    Hell, LC. God doesn’t put up with hypocrisy. All your faith in Jesus won’t help you there.

  36. @34: No one who works at the Stranger has the time to indulge in sockpuppetry—particularly on the Loveschild scale. Seriously. We all have jobs at the paper in addition to this blogging stuff, jobs that preclude lurking in one or two comment threads all day long. And if we’re going to knock ourselves out on the blog, it’s going to be for posts, not comments.

    We don’t know who LC is. We do know, based on the IP address, that her posts are coming from outside the building.

    Please don’t feed the troll(s).

  38. Ok, sorry, Dan, I know you just said not to feed the trolls, but it must be said:

    The idea that either of these instances represent the values of the people of DC or RI (both of which are places I have lived) is ludicrous. In the case of the former, it’s straight-up dirty blackmail by a powerful institution — if the will of the people is different from theirs, they will punish the powerless and then we’ll all have to feel bad about it. In the case of RI, Carcieri (who is a complete douche) VETOED a bill that was voted in by the people, once again attempting to undermine voters who clearly have no anti-homosexual agenda (Providence has a gay Mayor, people!).

    Furthermore, the definition of “elitism” (which is so overused by Republicans and conservative pundits that it has lost all meaning): “consciousness of or pride in belonging to a select or favored group.” Um….. Conservative Christians?

  39. Before anyone takes the “Colbert is from outside D.C.” har-dee-har seriously, remember that it was NOM from New Jersey that funded the anti-family/anti-equality fight in Maine and “Bishop” Harry Jackson from Virginia who is leading the anti-family/anti-equality fight in D.C..

    Must be easy for someone who isn’t from Maine or D.C. to go and say “you can’t have these rights!”

  40. Dan @#37 – I wasn’t necessarily accusing anyone at the Stranger of such, but in all honesty, I’ve never, in all my 39 years, ever known or seen ANYBODY that was so hypocritical and unwilling to bend, based on sound reasoning, as I have seen of Loveschild.

    Hell, I’m a fan of The Stranger, and even I don’t have the time or inclination to read, listen and post as much as Loveschild. Good God, she “supposedly” has a family. When does she ever take care of them? She’s on here daily, often multiple times.

    It all just seems too improbable for me to believe she’s for real. You only find her kind of ignorance and unwillingness to be educated in the back-wood hills of Tennessee. And generally those people don’t even have electricity, let alone a computer.

  41. Follow up to my post @ 41 – “She’s on here daily, often multiple times.”

    Yes, there are others that post here daily, and honestly, I find nothing wrong with someone that spends their free time reading articles and news from a source they ENJOY and often AGREE with, in principle. That makes complete sense.

    But in Loveschild’s case, she disagrees with so much on SLOG, that I can’t help wonder why she would care to spend so much time here, if not for the pure enjoyment of stirring the pot.

    Generally, I can’t stomach conservative news websites and blogs, because they are often filled with complete lunacy. So guess what? I never waste spending my valuable free time patronizing those sites. What would be the point? The same could be asked of Loveschild, regarding the Stranger.

    Just my two-cents worth. Thanks for letting me vent.

  42. I’ll follow Dan’s lead on this one…this thread isn’t about LC, it’s about the brilliant satire of a devout Catholic who is clearly hopping mad about how his church is misusing its power and influence. Good for him!

    And I’m wondering why we aren’t talking about a veto override on the bill relating to the rights of same sex couples at death. Surely, if a majority supports this they can override?

  44. This blatant blackmail by the catholics is little more than the extension and exertion of power by an organization that learned in the “fuck the children” scandals that it resides above the law. Pull the tax-exemption from their meddling claws and see how they change their tune. There must be some very valuable properties in the D.C. limits that would provide some much needed capital to the school district!

  46. Loveschild, Stephen Colbert lives in suburban New Jersey with his wife and children and teaches Sunday school. Of course you would stereotype him as a Manhattan elitist because you can’t argue with the substance of what he says.

  47. Loveschild, Stephen Colbert lives in suburban New Jersey with his wife and children and teaches Sunday school. Of course you would stereotype him as a Manhattan elitist because you can’t argue with the substance of what he says.

  48. @42: Are you kidding? Look at how much attention she gets here! On this post about a wonderful piece done by Colbert and his writers, Colbert is mentioned by name in 12 posts. LC is mentioned in approximately 16 (17 now) and all she had to do was spout off some random hate — she doesn’t even need to be coherent or consistent. She’s probably sitting in front of her computer jilling off on how much attention she’s getting from us. I would doubt there’s anywhere else in her life she gets so much attention for her thoughts.

  49. @41..you’ve never met anyone like that because people know better than to display their sh!t in public, face-to-face. It’s only on blogs and boards that they can behave this way, since they are in no personal danger and cannot be held accountable.

    And Colbert is brilliant. It’s really nice to see a devout believer take his public forum and show how anti-Christian it is to hate and discriminate.

  50. I agree with JunieGirl @ 50. Colbert uses his public forum and finally tuned wit to make us question our perspectives and acknowledge how anti-Christian it is to hate and discriminate. And, he does it while making us laugh at ourselves, and highlight the cruelty that’s being inflicted.

    I also agree that blogs and boards provide a forum that allows the worst in people to be put on display.

  51. I’m from RI and always used to brag about how socially progressive RI has historically been. Our state was founded on the religious and political tolerance and the advocacy of separation of church and state. We were also the first state to abolish slavery. And we have voted democratic in more Presidential elections than almost all states. We even voted against Reagan. Medical marijuana is legal. Hell, up until this month, prostitution was even legal. So this is a real embarrassment.

    However, the majority of RI voters favor the gay marriage law. They’re just not allowed to fucking vote on it thanks to the Catholic wackos in the government like Carcieri.

  52. Prostitution is no longer legal (indoors)? What will the Foxy Lady do after Legs and Eggs???

    Damn, I’m gone for three months and look what happens.

  53. Sorry, but being gone is no excuse. You can read Projo online just as easily as you can read Slog.

    The bill making it illegal passed a couple weeks ago.

  55. Boy, ain’t that the truth. It’s fucking sick how far downhill that paper has gone in recent years. Still, I guess it’s better than nothing. Just not by much.

  57. Social blackmail, social extortion, I’ll not quibble over these minor points.

    Love Stephen, but he does cause me some no small amount of cognitive dissonance — how can the lion’s share (pun intended) of Catholics be so myopic, selfish and hateful, and this guy actually seem to get it AND has a microphone? Doesn’t compute.

    Anyway, I’m more confused than ever about traditional marriage rights and traditional death rights now. I had always heard that marriage was “until death do us part.” So doesn’t that mean that even Christianoid married folks can’t claim bodies or publish obits for people they are no longer married to? Aren’t we finally equal *only* in death?

  59. I love the arrogance of some people’s comments…using big words to make themselves sound smart. Anyone can google dictionary.com and look up words to strategically replace more base adjectives…but a douchebag is a douchebag in the end. Colbert Report is an entertainment show on Comedy Central, and people want to take it seriously? Give me a break.

  60. Entertainment IS serious! Brecht was social commentary AND entertainment. So was Shakespeare. Both “lowbrow” for their time.

    Comedy is a lens through which we see our world, a way to talk about ideas, fears, revolutions! Dismissing anything that happens to be entertaining as unworthy of discussion cuts out lots of relevant social commentary.

  61. Some people actually do know the big words they use. They don’t have to look them up or anything! I know, it seems impossible in this age of tweeting, but there was a time when people read and learned things and even retained the knowledge for future use.

  62. You go, Junie! He’s just being an obstreperous, pusillanimous malcontent. And no, I didn’t have to look those words up. (He may have to, though.)

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