That is the basic recipe for Tiptoes, the 2003 romantic comedy whose trailer will tempt you to think “This must be a joke” but it is not.
After watching the above, perhaps you require proof that this trailer isn’t some amazing prankster art project, ala Francesco Vezzoli’s Trailer for a Remake of Gore Vidal’s ‘Caligula’. So did I. Here’s the NYT overview (which confirms the film had its U.S. premiere at the 2004 Sundance Film Festival then went straight to DVD) and here’s a review from eFilmCritic:
You may have noted that Rolfe, a dwarf, is played by Gary Oldman, who is 5’10”. This is achieved through the movie magic of having Oldman walk around on his knees. One scene has his lower legs digitally removed, which probably cost a lot but which looks embarrassingly fake. Another time, his lower legs are clearly visible through a glass coffee table that was supposed to keep them hidden. Most of the time, you just wonder, if he’s a dwarf, why are his arms so long?
Tiptoes is available at Scarecrow and other fine video outlets.
Thank you, Slog tipper Mindy.
Before I was halfway through reading this I was waiting for “it’s only the size of your heart that counts”. Sure enough, there it is. The rôle of a lifetime indeed.
“Gary Oldman in a role of a lifetime”
Looks like Gary did the equivalent of going full retard.
@2 Exactly, dude you NEVER go full retard… that being said I kinda wanna watch Gary Oldman crawl for an entire movie…
Holy. Shit. I need to see this movie. Does it have Schmaeder commentary yet?
I’m a loyal (to the point of pain every time he pulls shit like this) Gary Oldman fan, and that was possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Oh GOD it’s bad. Please, let’s not even speak of it. I want to spare others the dull monotonous agony of its boringness.
Stop me before I post links to bad bad bad movies again! AAAaaaaauuuuggghh!!!
It looks pretty damned funny, I would play it in the background during a party. If I ever throw another party again.
I saw it years ago – I’d almost forgotten. Don’t waste your time. It’s not even funny-bad, just bad.
I’ll bet you were so focused on the star-studded-ness that you didn’t even notice the kicker: director Matthew Bright condemned it before it was shown.
If you don’t know, Matthew Bright previously directed the amazing Freeway, AND the abysmal Freeway 2. Also, the forgettable Ted Bundy. And, lets not forget his writing and acting credits for Forbidden Zone.
And, to think…now he’s doing a rom-com. Neil LaBute, he’s not.
Mmmm… McConaughey would look even hawter with my balls resting on his chin.
Oh and re: the movie
…. ???? W. T. F. ???? ….
Tim Conway did kneewalking much better as Derf.
@10 Ew. No.
TheMisanthrope @ 13,
The kahk wants what it wants. Might as well roll with it.
There are no small roles, only small actors. No, wait, um…
9: Freeway! Respect must be paid.
9: Ah! Forbidden Zone, one of my favorites. How do you go wrong with topless women whipping other topless women, Herve Villechaize and the very start of Oingo Boingo.
Pico & Sepulveda….
Dammit @12, it was Dorf, not Derf. Have some respect.
The French did it better.
This movie was better than it had any right to be. When you turn to Kate Beckinsale to be the emotional core of your movie you’re starting at something of a disadvantage.
Holycrap! I bet Oldman did it just to put another notch on his belt. He has to have the greatest character resume ever.
He’s been a Neo-Nazi, Sid Viscious, Rosencrantz, Lee Harvey Oswald, Julien Schnabel, Drexl(!), Stansfield(!), Beethoven, Dracula, Pontius Pilate, the Devil, Dr. Smith, Syrius Black, Comissioner Gordon and a Rabbi! Playing the dwarf twin brother of McConaughey is just par for the course.
How about a double feature with The Idiots?
@20: while I agree with your sentiment about Kate’s “emotional core” presence, I did feel a lil’ funny upon seeing her look up at MM in the beginning of the clip…
@18, jeez, you’re right. What a nord I am.