Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), also known as spastic colon, is a bowel disorder characterized by chronic abdominal pain, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, and other discomfort “in the absence of any detectable organic cause.” In other words, something’s wrong with your poop but you don’t know why. Possible causal factors include infection, immune disorders, age, stress, and fish and chips. According to Wikipedia, “Some studies indicate that up to 60% of persons with IBS also have a psychological disorder, typically anxiety or depressions,” and it often occurs in conjunction with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, which makes sense because those are also largely made-up disorders. (I kid, I kid! I’m sure you’re lactose intolerant, too, or whatever. My condolences. Now please stop talking to me.)
According to my new favorite website, IBS and Famous People (sic throughout), “Cybill Shepperd has IBS and she hid in pain for a long period of time.” Similarly, “Kurt Cobain said his IBS symptoms ultimately led him to the addiction of Heroin… He later commited suicide due to his drug addictions and IBS may have been considered to played a small role in that decision.” Other celebrities who have complained of IBS symptoms include “Adolf Hitler, Tyra Banks, Jenny McCarthy, Elizabeth Taylor, Sigmund Freud, Kristen Dunst, and Fran Drescher.” So as you can see, IBS is a super-duper pain in the ass that affects the bowel movements and buttholes of people from all walks of life, and probably caused the Holocaust.
The new film Morning Glory concerns an idealistic young television producer, portrayed by the ebullient Rachel McAdams, who has no bowel disorders whatsoever and is obsessed with the Today show (because, sure, that’s a thing that happens). She gets hired to resurrect America’s lowest-rated morning show, Daybreak, thus embarking upon a “humorous” emotional journey that climaxes with Diane Keaton convulsing next to 50 Cent and Harrison Ford cooking a Very Meaningful Frittata. The network where all of this takes place? Not CBS, not NBC, not ABC, not even PBS—but a fictional station that the filmmakers, without even a whisper of a wink, have chosen to call IBS. IBS. Irritable bowel syndrome. IBS. IBS. IBS!!! As in Tyra Banks’s bunchy, distended colon, y’all!
This is distracting at first, until you realize that Morning Glory is a complete piece of shit, and then you’re all, “Hmm, how apropos!” 
This article has been updated from its original version because Lindy West supposedly thought of a better joke.
Somehow, every time they play the trailer, I hear “Date Rape” instead of “Daybreak!”
I wish Harrison Ford would just quit acting already; I feel embarrassed for him. I’m gonna go watch Blade Runner, The Fugitive, and the original version of Star Wars now.
@2: I know! The worst thing is that he was known in his early years as the actor that turned down a bunch of roles because he was so picky. He even worked as a carpenter so he wouldn’t have to take roles that he didn’t like. And now? When he’s got enough money and star power to be choosy, he keeps taking awful roles.
I mean, if I heard a lot of rumours about an expensive drug habit or gambling addiction, maybe I’d understand.
Funny review as always, Lindy!
Best Lindy review ever? No (but still pretty damned funny).
Best Lindy final sentence ever? Hell, yeah!*
*Disclaimer: not based on an actual analysis of ultimate Lindy ultimate sentences.
Kurt Cobain probably had chrones disease, not IBS, which is very real and so painful it might actually drive someone to take heroin to dull the pain. unlike IBS which, I agree completely with Lindy, could not be a bigger bunch of pharmecutical pushing BS.
@3 You did hear about his divorce, right?
Any time you see an old, washed up male celebrity still pathetically doing gigs, you should assume a large divorce settlement is the key motivation.
@6: I can’t remember hearing about it. Good point, though.
IBS is a sly reference to the International Brecht Society. If you think about it, “Morning Glory” is really just an adaptation of “The Caucasian Chalk Circle.” Only it’s about a TV show instead of a farm collective. With a few laughs throw in. And Ford and Keaton instead of goats.