In 2005, Transporter 2 director Louis Leterrier suggested that the
main character of the Transporter series, Frank Martin (Jason Statham),
is gay. Homophobic action-movie fans nearly wet their little pink
panties over the suggestion—many pointing out that Martin made
out with a woman in the first film, as though gay men have never
swapped spit with ladies under duress. With the third installment of
the series, the sexuality question is beaten to death: Freckly
Ukrainian sexpot/plot device Valentina (Natalya Rudakova, beautiful and
occasionally lifelike) outright asks Martin if he’s “the gay,” and he
categorically denies it. And then, as if to provide breeder
credibility, he falls madly in love with the pouty redhead.
Even if Martin wasn’t the first gay action hero, he was at least the
first OCD one, and Statham always portrayed a certain fussy joy in the
way he would pick at his pristine and perfectly fitted suits and shiny
black Audi. That personality is part of why Transporter 2 was a pretty
good dumb action movie and far superior to the first film. Moments of 3
recall that earlier glory.
The premise—that Martin and Valentina have bracelets that will
explode if they wander more than 75 feet from their car—is so
stupid as to be completely likable. And a few sequences are pure dumb
action heroin, especially one that finds Martin chasing after the car
on a bicycle and a later underwater scene that’s so implausible it
must’ve been written by a coke-addled three-year-old. But Robert
Knepper’s bad guy, who wants to kill us all with toxic waste or
something, isn’t worth building a movie around. And the beginning and
end lag terribly. By the time Statham trades out his natty suit for a
comfy, ugly fleece, his character has lost all his endearing tics and
imperfections. He’s become just another generic action hero, and
there’s no reason on earth why anyone—straight or
gay—should care. 
Finally. Someone admits to enjoying Transporter 2 in writing. It’s the best movie I’ve ever flipped to on cable TV and accidentally sat all the way through.
I haven’t seen any of the Transporter movies … I saw Statham in Crank though, which was a complete hoot. Must rent Transporter 2.
I have to disagree with the assessment that Transporter 2 was an improvement on the first; any gains in quality of tone were lost in the disappearance in part 2 of the reasonably handy martial-arts from the first film. Things blowing up will never, ever be as cool to watch and people punching, kicking, and grappling with one another (and or furniture, wall fixtures, and other random, normally inanimate objects) in new and creative ways.
Of course, maybe that’s just me.
What I’d like to know–and sadly, I might have no way of finding out but by wasting my hard-earned cash–is whether this third film brings back some of the hand-to-hand that went missing the second time around. The rest is just toys.
@ thelyamhound: If fight scenes are your thing, you should totally wait for video. There’s only one good hand-to-hand fight scene in the whole movie, and even that one’s a little choppy.
Thanks, Paul! I don’t think I expected a response, so it’s a pleasant surprise to get one.
Yeah, I think I’ll wait. There’s plenty to see this month, and funds are scarce.
Transporter 2 had me at BOOM!
When Jason flips his car through the air and knocks the bomb off his gas tank with that crane’s hook, I did what most lapel-pin wearing Americans did:
I went bat-shit crazy!
I fuckin dumped my Bud-Light over my head and did cart-wheels around the living room.
All I’m saying, someone in Hollywood better get off their ass and get Mr. Stratham signed to TP4.
Are there ninjas in this movie, because there hasn’t been a good ninja movie in a while.
American Ninja 4, The Annihilation, was the last decent one I’ve seen. I’d much rather see Michael Dudikoff than Jason Stratham.
Gotta say the fight scenes in Transporter 2 were something Bruce Lee, Steven Segal and Jet Li would have enjoyed. I am an old school kung fu fan and the use of the tools at hand and the firehouse throwing the beaten villans a last time is classic.
I wish I had the Lambo they wrecked at the end in stead of my car!!! Also I think,on #2, we could have seen a little more from the final fight scene with the leggy chick and a final Kempo battle with the key villan
Ninja movies… See Lightning Swords of Death (Lone Wolf and Cub) Now that fighting!!
What bothered me about the fight scene(s) (was there more than one?) in part II was its brevity (if there were more, they were clearly even shorter), the general slowness, and the lack of any continuous takes. Nothing to match the axe battle, the oil-slick fight, or the scene where he uses his shirt as a weapon in the first movie.
I love me some Bruce and some Jet; Segal has one or two good flicks to his credit, but I don’t otherwise see him as much of a positive example in that regard. And it seems to me that Bruce, at least, might have taken exception to the hand-to-hand combat/hardware-destruction ratio. Jet might not object; I remember being profoundly depressed after seeing War last year, so fervently was I hoping for a battle royale twixt Statham and Li. This never materialized; martial arts had given way to explosions and gun-play (and not particularly inspired explosions or gun-play, at that).
Still, to each his (or her, of course) own.