MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27
Hello, dears! The internet quickly forgot about the best picture screw-up at Sunday’s Academy Awards after watching a video of attendee Nicole Kidman’s inability to clap like a person who knows how to clap. One Twitter user correctly noted that she clapped like the Grinch. Personally, we love her clapping—that’s what we do in the bathtub after our second martini while plotting our column for the week. MEANWHILE… Speaking of scheming, Russia seems to be concocting a dastardly plot to take advantage of President Trump (who lost the popular vote by 2,864,974 votes) and his ineffectual leadership of the United States. “Russia has continued to test the United States on the military front, with fighter jets flying close to an American warship in the Black Sea this month and a Russian naval vessel steaming conspicuously in the Atlantic off the coast of Delaware,” writes the New York Times. Well, that’s not concerning in the slightest, RIGHT? But the kicker was a close-up satellite picture of Nicole Kidman on the deck of the steaming Russian naval vessel, ever so slowly clapping her hands in glee. (Brrrr.)