Porn

Okay, this might be a little softcore, but holy crap. Don’t
you want to see British heartthrob Clive Owen having a big bangin’
orgasm with Italian sexpot Monica Bellucci, while standing up, and
spinning around the room, and blasting a handgun? This soon to be
legendary sex scene is from the new gangsta-guns thriller Shoot ‘Em
Up. The movie looks hella cheesy. The sex scene was posted on
YouTube for a short while; it’s also hella cheesy, but dammit, when
Bellucci sticks her finger in Owen’s mouth, it’s ON. Then when he
shoots eight bad guys without ever, uh, leaving Bellucci, so he can
shoot his, uh, well, it’s kinda magical. I’m sure that critics will go
nuts dissecting this pervy, overt combination of violence and sex, but
it’s still hot. Or maybe I just have the hots for Bellucci. Or maybe I
just want to pretend I’m Bellucci—just like I’ve been pretending,
for years, that I’m Bellucci when she has onscreen sex with her
real-life husband, actor Vincent Cassel, in
Irréversible… I digress. Shoot ‘Em Up‘s sex
scene has surely got to be one of the most memorable in mainstream
cinema, ever.