Porn

I wish I could have a dick for a day. And if I could borrow
one—anybody’s—I’d want the freak-show schlong of Ignacio
Jordà González, aka Nacho Vidal. Do you know Nacho? He’s
a former boxer, was in a punk band as a teenager, and has starred in
over 1,500 triple-X-ers. He’s from Barcelona, Spain, and he’s one of
Europe’s biggest porn stars. What’s so special about his, uh, well…
how about 8.5 inches long by 6.5 inches in circumference? It’s the
latter measurement that you see written all over the faces of the
ladies in his films. He’s really nasty—super rough—he seems
certifiably crazy. But he’s also 100 percent alpha male. And strong
women need strong men to get them running tight. He used to be
Belladonna’s fiancé. (Oh, and remember when I wrote that
Belladonna retired a few weeks ago? She’s already back.) Strong men
like Nacho, too. After Nacho and Bella broke up, he started directing
transsexual and gay films. He claims he made these “as a gift to the
vast majority of his fans who are gay males.” Nacho is macho, but still
loves the trannies?! What a gem. Go to www.porneskimo.com and search for his
name. What. A. Dick.