They don’t make porn like they used to. A perfect example is the new
DVD release of 1970s sexploitation flick Malabimba: The Malicious
Whore. I won’t lie—I haven’t seen it. But I’ve watched the
trailer and I’m dying to see the whole thing. The DVD description
reads: Katell Laennec stars as Bimba, a teen temptress consumed by
Satan who plunges her entire family—including her widowed father,
wanton aunt, invalid uncle, and even a nun—into the depths of
sexual depravity. Is she possessed by a demonic lust, or just going
through a really freaky puberty? That sounds a little sketchy, but
I’m telling you, the trailer is great. It looks like a cool old Italian
horror movie: dramatic soundtrack, spooky lighting, doors slamming,
candles mysteriously blowing out. It even has subtitles, like some
classy foreign film. I’m guessing it has so much storyline that it
takes forever before there’s even nudity. But in this day of digital
hardcore, isn’t it nice to watch a little foreplay? And with all the
satanic themes and naked nuns, it seems perfect for Halloween. Watch the trailer HERE.

Kelly O—formerly a Stranger staff photographer, music writer, Drunk of the Week columnist, and more!—finished art school and a soul-crushing internship at a corporate advertising agency in Detroit,...