Please don’t tell, but I took that Crock-Pot and those two sweaters
I got for Christmas back to JCPenney. Then I took the cash and bought
the brand-new Kimberly Kane DVD, Triple Ecstasy (Vivid Alt,
2007). I first saw Kane in Belladonna’s My Ass Is Haunted. She’s
this crazy-pretty lanky blonde with natural tits who does this amazing
girl-girl scene featuring a giant pink strap-on and a girl named Julie
Night. While Night loudly oohs and aahs her way through the entire
scene, Kane remains spookily silent. She has these giant eyes and raw
intensity that commands attention without her ever making a peep. She’s
cool as a cucumber, one of the Real Girls. Haunted is hardcore
ass worship, but Triple Ecstasy is more of a mashup, an “alt
porn” in the best sense of the term—whip-smart editing, punk
music, and raunchy, believable sex. Oh, and it also features some of
the best of the Real Girls—the Vivid Alt girls—such as
Kane, Charlotte Stokely, and redheaded terror Audrey Hollander. You
should really watch the preview at vivid-alt.com. Even the preview is more fun
than that Crock-Pot could ever be. KELLY O

Kelly O—formerly a Stranger staff photographer, music writer, Drunk of the Week columnist, and more!—finished art school and a soul-crushing internship at a corporate advertising agency in Detroit,...