Porn! Fuck Like You Mean It

You’ve been a filmmaker for many years now. What made you decide to
come out from behind the camera?
As a video artist, I’ve often used myself as the subject of my own
pieces. Initially it came out of convenience, then it helped me explore
ideas of self. Being my own subject helped me to relate to myself in
different ways. It’s probably through my videos that I discovered my
exhibitionist tendencies. Before modeling in porn, I modeled nude for
fellow video makers in exchange for their help on my shoots.

Have you always been an exhibitionist?
I’ve always put myself out there. Mostly through music performances
and public-speaking events where I had to represent a group I was a
part of. I’ve always said that my life is an open book. I’m willing to
talk to most people about anything if they have a genuine and open
approach.

Now you got me thinking… I didn’t really exhibit my sexuality
while growing up. I grew up in a traditional Mexican/Catholic family,
and any sexuality was just bad.

So how does a Mexican/Catholic become an exhibitionist porn
star/filmmaker?
Ha ha.

Big question, huh?
Yeah, really big question. Part of it has to do with “making up for
lost time,” but most of it has to do with having nothing to lose and
everything to gain. Walking through one locked door made it easier to
walk through more. I don’t fear rejection from my parents because I
already experienced that after coming out to them as “gay” (to use the
language available to them).

You’re already going to hell, you might as well enjoy it?
Yep, and I’ll be in excellent company!

As far as making up for lost time, I’ve always been a little
pervert. Growing up, I would always talk about sex with my friends; I
got internet access before most of them and would jack off to
still-porn online.

I thoroughly explored my sexuality with myself, though I didn’t
really take advantage of opportunities to do so with others. Especially
because I would rather hit on girls… and that was scary in South
Texas.

What kind of porn did you enjoy as a teen?
Umm… honestly, gay-male porn! I wasn’t into the str8 stuff. The
girls were just so fake. Plus, gay-male porn was way easier to find
online.

Speaking of fake girls in porn, or lack thereof, what is Pink and
White Productions?
Pink and White Productions is a queer/dyke/trans porn company that
portrays authentic queer sex.

How did you become involved with Pink and White?
I started working in the porn industry a few years ago through video
work. I had just graduated from college and wanted a full-time gig to
support my art. I saw this ad on Craigslist for video encoding, and the
ad said “some adult content.” I almost didn’t go to the interview, but
I’m so glad I did. After much debating, I took the job, which brought
up some internal conflicts about how I felt about porn. I dealt with it
and came out on the other side loving porn. Then I started hearing more
and more about the movie The Crash Pad though porn and dyke circles,
and I borrowed it from a friend.

The next day, I contacted Pink and White and set up a dinner with
them. It was that good! I wanted to be a part of it. Initially I was
thinking about helping with back-end web stuff or any kind of
production work that they might need help with.

What was so enticing about The Crash Pad?
Well, it’s Pink and White’s first feature film. It was the first
time that I ever saw on video people who I could identify with having
the same kind of sex I like to have. It was a revolutionary experience.
(And I told them that in the e-mail I wrote them.)

What kind of internal conflicts did you have about porn? How did you
resolve them?
Well, I was trained in academic feminism. Porn is a really
controversial issue among feminists. I’d seen how so many women are
anti-porn because they feel that it is exploitative to women. On the
other hand, I’ve seen just as many sex-positive feminists. The truth
is, I had never really been put in a position to “choose” a side.
Through work, I’ve gotten to see a bunch of porn that bothered me and a
bunch of hot and awesome porn. It’s really easy to be against porn if
you concentrate on the bad stuff. I started watching more porn that I
liked and met a lot of models who felt empowered by modeling, and that
resolved any conflicts I had.

Aside from the genders of the bodies, is queer porn much different
from straight porn?
You know, it’s not too hard to compare queer porn to str8 porn. What
is taken into account is the audience. Queer porn is not just for your
standard porn consumer. In fact, it has a targeted audience: other
queer people.

Also, queer porn is different from gay porn and lesbian porn and
girl-on-girl porn. It’s really its own genre. It’s a pretty diverse and
forgiving genre, too. I think this is because the world is starving for
queer porn (or at least I am).

Does it tend to defy definition like the term queer does? Or are
there certain things that you will find in queer porn that you won’t
find in straight/gay/lesbian porn? Or vice versa (certain things that
you won’t find in queer porn that are in straight/gay/lesbian
porn)?
I’d say that there is more allowance for gender variations in queer
porn than in the other genres. The other genres have strict gender
roles, or queer genders are stuck into a fetishized subgenre.

What about the actual sex? Do you think it’s much different? Earlier
you mentioned that The Crash Pad was similar to the way you have
sex…
Yes. I’d say that each studio has its own type of style that it
embraces. Pink and White’s content has often been compared to gay
male–style porn, but I only think that because in gay-male porn,
the guys fuck without apology. They fuck like they mean it, and that’s
also a strong characteristic about the way sex is had in Pink and
White’s productions.

Can you describe your perception of the styles, working in different
parts of the industry?
Yes. Stereotypically, gay-male porn has rough fucking. Girl-on-girl
porn is all for the male gaze, and the women are often very feminine
and have long fingernails and appear not to be into each other (though
sometimes I have seen stuff marketed as girl/girl where it’s obvious
the girls are into each other, and that’s hot—I’d call it queer).
Lesbian porn has the stereotype of being educational and weak
(soft).

So queer porn combines the rough and the soft and the real?
Yeah, I’d say queer porn can include so much and is often seen as
more real. It’s still sex for a camera though, which is very real but
very different from sex when no one is watching.

You costar in Pink and White’s feature-length film Champion. What’s
it about?
Champion is a love story with a fighting premise. Syd Blakovich
plays this tough fighter, Jessie, who is used to being the
best—she’s a player and a heartbreaker. Jiz Lee plays her ex,
Cathy, who keeps getting involved with her in spite of it all. Syd’s
character and my character, Violet, flirt a little at the gym and are
placed against each other in the championship competition. And there’s
a whole lot of dirty gambling…

Did you have to do much training for the part of a fighter?
Well, I didn’t have to do much training for the part, but I wanted
to. Syd hooked me up with an excellent trainer who gave me some good
instruction, took me to some classes, and choreographed the scenes.
Everyone, including me, thought it would be a good idea for me to have
some big guns, so I put in some extra time at the gym and got a little
better at push-ups. I don’t think my arms got bigger though.

Do you think that your experience behind the camera influences what
you do/how you act in front of it?
Sometimes I want to get in and help the crew and move some apple
boxes or get something out of the frame. I hold back from saying stuff
unless it’s glaring. Also, I think I have a little more patience for
the production process, patience for getting the right shot. My acting
skills were really challenged for this movie. I never thought of myself
as an actor, but I agreed to be in front of the camera; I felt it was
important to deliver, so I tried my best.

The sex was easy, the acting was hard.

Catch the Champion trailer and much more at champion-movie.com. More info about
Pink and White Productions can be found at www.pinkwhite.biz. Dallas likes it when
you watch—see more of her at www.iamfivestar.com.