Everybody knows Christmas Eve is better than Christmas, and
if you follow these instructions, this will be the best Christmas Eve
ever. Get The Roger Whittaker Christmas Album from
1978—the one with the cover showing a bunch of fake snow on
Whittaker’s comb-over. Go to Westlake Center. Get on the
merry-go-round and press play on the song “Darcy the Dragon.” You
will get the Christ. (Westlake Center, 400 Pine St.
10
am–6 pm, $2 suggested donation.)

Jen Graves (The Stranger’s former arts critic) mostly writes about things you approach with your eyeballs. But she’s also a history nerd interested in anything that needs more talking about, from male...