Dan gave it a passing mention earlier this morning, but it really deserves its own post. I’m speaking of the incredibly awful ink earned by Rosie O’Donnell’s new variety show, the first episode of which aired Wednesday night and has racked up an amazing bunch of reviews.
From the Los Angeles Times:
Two words: Dancing food. “Rosie Live” ended with dancing food. There’s nothing else to say, really except perhaps, Liza Minnelli. “Rosie Live” opened with a little song and dance from Liza Minnelli, who rose to the stage, as if from the grave, to sing a duet with O’Donnell…In between we were treated to Harry Connick Jr. in a Santa hat, Conan O’Brien taking a pie in the face, and Jane Krakowski singing about all the free stuff audience members would get. Clay Aiken strolled over from “Spamalot” to participate in the world’s most painfully long gay joke (“What was the other thing we have in common,” Rosie mused, “oh yeah, we’re both Gaaa … briel Byrne fans”) and Alanis Morissette sang a song referencing the 12 Steps in front of, I kid you not, an endless loop of geese flying through a sunset.
From TV Guide:
If the TV variety format weren’t already dead, the ghastly ego trip of NBC’s Thanksgiving-eve turkey Rosie Live would surely have killed it. Like the pie Alec Baldwin predictably pushed into Conan O’Brien’s face that fell to the floor without sticking, the entire hour landed with a sickening, sad, ill-conceived thud. It felt like an off night at America’s Got Talent, bookended by wobbly appearances from Liza Minnelli and Gloria Estefan, each forced to perform with the caterwauling host, Rosie O’Donnell.
From the New York Times:
In between skits, celebrity cameos and hokey novelty acts, the legendarily thin-skinned Ms. O’Donnell found time to take potshots at some of her favorite targets, including Donald Trump, Nancy Grace and Bill O’Reilly….Lame jokes are part of the holiday variety genre, along with campy production numbers featuring sexy dancers and cute little children. Celebrity score-settling, on the other hand, belongs to the self-obsessed blogging Facebook generation. Ms. O’Donnell, who frequently takes out her frustrations in a video diary on her Web site, would have been better served leaving herself behind and sticking to the classics.
FYI: I’m generally pro-Rosie, and was especially impressed with her performance at the Seattle stop of the True Colors tour, where she took the stage for ten minutes of stand-up comedy crossed with dark but very well-expressed personal musings and calls to political action—it was great, and no one in the world could’ve pulled it off but her. Unfortunately, I missed the premiere airing of Rosie Live, but thanks to the miracle of Tivo on Demand, I can apparently watch it tonight when I get home (after opening night of Dina Martina—how much glorious tragedy can one man stand??)
after all the publicity from Rosie over the past few years, with the bitchiness and tantrums, does anyone perceive her as funny or enjoyable? She strikes me as an angry person, not some fun loving variety show host. What’s next: Don Imus hosting Night at the Apollo?
Rosie has saved som of her pat millions – I hope – I fear she is a has been. Soon, her house will be in foreclosure, maybe she and Ed McM. can share digs.
Really, now, who cares? Rosie, do commercials, take any paying job you can get.
Stale and shirll – what a combo.
WHERE WAS SHE IN NO ON 8 – ELLEN SHOWED FINALLY, NO ROSIE
That isn’t fair, Schmader. Nobody can follow Dina. Not even Liza on Rosie can follow Dina.
We watched it and maybe it’s b/c I was drunk that the awfulness of it didn’t really sink in until later. But it was awful. Truly and horrendously awful.
Now I’m kind of sad I missed it.
train wreck.
That is all.
Is that Dan Savage on the right?
I wish—the extension on my jazz hands isn’t nearly as accomplished. Oh, I can do jazz hands fine. But I can’t get spread my fingers like that—that there is a professional dancer’s jazz hands.
rosie’s issues don’t stem from her being gay,
but a whiny bitch that can’t ever really be funny without bringing everyone down to her uber depressed level.
maybe if she wasn’t so hateful and spiteful, her “comedy” and career could actually improve.
Rosie lost any credit she might have had the day I heard this from Bill Bailey:
“There’s this one celebrity, Rosie O’Donnell, a talk show host, and she said this: “I don’t know anything about Afghanistan, but I know it’s full of terrorists, speaking as a mother.” So what is this “speaking as a mother” then? Is that a euphemism for “talking out of my arse”? “Suspending rational thought for a moment”? As a rational human being, Al-Qaeda are a loose association of psychopathic zealots who could be rounded up with a sustained police investigation. But speaking as a parent, they’re all eight foot tall, they’ve got lasers under their moustaches, a huge eye in their foreheads and the only way to kill them is to NUKE every country that hasn’t sent us a Christmas card in the the last 20 years!! Speaking as a mother.”
someone is pro-Rosie. Bwahahahahahaha
Oh my gawd, is THAT what that was? I was at the gym Wednesday night and kept glancing up to see shots of Rosie mixed in with some truly perplexing sights (people dancing with Segways? Huh?). The volume was off, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was going on. I was thinking. . . awards show? For WHAT?
Dude, variety shows suck. Except the Colbert one, which only very nearly sucked.