Man, fuck the sun, right? It burns people, it makes plants grow (like poison oak!), and one day it will explode and leave us all to wallow in blind darkness. Do you really want to reinforce that behavior? Instead, get thee to the movies. The Seattle International Film Festival opens tonight with The Extra Man and a big-ass party at Benaroya Hall, and it continues for the next three and a half weeks with 256 features and 150 shorts in dark, cool, blissfully sunless theaters. Topics include: Hugh Hefner, the Library of Alexandria, Spanish spies, baby turtles, neo-Nazi gay love, and Joan Rivers. Use our exhaustive SIFF guide to help steer you through. (Benaroya Hall, 200 University St, thestranger.com/siff. 7 pm, $45–$100.)
Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more.... More by Lindy West

Woo Hoo!
Oh, and this year’s Gayla movie looks really really fun, even for str8s!
I hate SIFF.
I just want to buy a ticket to a movie. Please take my money in exchange for two seats at a particular film. PLEASE
I am a South African looking for a good place to buy artsy gay movies in Seattle. Any suggestions?
@3: Ask Questionland!
or try STIFF.
@2 – About 45 minutes before the movie starts, walk into the box office, go to the ticket window, and see if there are any day of tix on sale – if so, they frequently sell them to you there (show your SIFF member card for the discount) and you can usually walk right in if it’s not way too busy.