No, seriously: The Room is the worst movie in the
world that you absolutely must see. Over the past half decade,
Tommy Wiseau’s cinematic cri de coeur has earned cult status for
its unflinching portrayal of who the fuck knows what, including a
tumultuous love triangle, an on-again/off-again battle with cancer, the
erotic power of long-stemmed roses, and big manly heartbreak. The
result is a mind-bending stinker of a film that will leave you
gaping in awe. (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, www.central-cinema.com. 9:30 pm,
$6, 21+.)

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...