I’ve never really watched Spike TV. It’s aimed towards dudes, and I’m not a dude, so shows like MANswers don’t thrill me at all. But last night, while dazed from too much allergy medicine and not enough sleep, I ended up watching Spike TV and discovering a show called 1000 Ways to Die.

Have you seen this?! It’s really fucked up. It’s basically the Darwin Awards but with reenactments and snide commentary. For example, last night, I learned about the man who died from a blood clot in his brain after he cut off circulation to his legs for hours when he tied a big sausage to his leg to make it appear as though he had a giant penis. Also: a woman choked on a fish (it got stuck in her throat and the scales made it impossible to pull out), a man died after the pepper spray he put up his butt went off (he shoved it up there after getting pulled over by the police—he was on parole and it was against the rules to have it), and also this happened… this woman was sucked to death…

It’s awful. And it’s amazing. And it’s terrible. And I couldn’t stop watching it.

Megan Seling is The Stranger's managing editor. She mostly writes about hockey, snacks, and music. And sometimes her dog, Johnny Waffles.

7 replies on “The Worst, No Wait, Best… No, Actually, Yes the Worst Thing On TV Right Now”

  1. Ok, I’m super gay and I can’t figure out how someone would be able to quickly pull down their pants and insert a can of pepper spray into their ass, all while they’re getting pulled over. Unless of course he had somehow prepared for the situation. Am I right?

  2. Time 2:06 – “Soon she’d be safe in Mexico… mixing up new batches of Devil’s Brew! Meth… Amphetamine!” (evil music plays in the background).

    Gawd, it’s revoltingly over the top stupid.

  3. “And she’d become a…basically, a blowfly picnic, wouldn’t she? *HEARTY CHUCKLE*”

    Best and most inappropriate hearty chuckle of the year.

  4. 1000 Ways To Die is my guilty – and I do mean guilty cause it’s offensively over-announced – pleasure.

    I can only take a bit of it before I have to change the channel, but it’s nice to channel hop while sitting out a commercial break if it’s on.

  5. @1 Actually, his pants were already down. He had a hooker in the car and they were pulled over and he was about to be pleasured by said hooker.

    That’s when the cop came and before he walked up the window, supposedly, he shoved it on up his butt. It didn’t go off, though, until he got out of the car and then bumped into the side of the vehicle.

    They even showed what it probably looked like inside his rectum when it went off…. GROSS.

Comments are closed.