This Week on TV

Thursday, Dec 30

8:00 11 WWF SMACKDOWN

Wahhh! This is the last time we’ll get to see “Stone Cold” Steve Austin flip somebody off and pour a beer on their head!!

8:00 TNT DIRTY DANCING — Movie

Wahhh! This is the last time we’ll get to see Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey rub their nasty crotches together!!

9:00 QVC MILLENNIAL COUNTDOWN HOME SHOPPING

Quick! Buy as much shit as you possibly can, and don’t worry! You won’t have to pay for it!!

Friday, Dec 31

5:55 am 4 ABC 2000

Around-the-clock coverage of the new year from all points on the globe (in other words, watch people in other time zones die horrible deaths).

5:00 MTV MTV 2 LARGE

Your only opportunity to see the Backstreet Boys, Puff Daddy, and Blink 182 perish in flames!

11:30 4 NEW YEAR’S AT THE NEEDLE

For those uninterested in having a safe night of fun with me at the Breakroom, go ahead and risk your life with the rest of the terrorists at the Space Needle. See if I care.

Saturday, Jan 1