Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) is a lonely scientist. Her last boyfriend was a creep, she dumped him, and now all she has is her scientific work. Foster roams the desert looking for the Einstein-Rosen Bridge (a wormhole that connects this universe with another one). She believes that our universe is not alone but is connected, by wormholes, to other universes. She is in that camp of scientists who propose that we live in a multiverse. Think of a kitchen sink. Think of water in that kitchen sink. Think of dishwashing soap in that sink. See all of those bubbles? That is something like the multiverse.
Suddenly, the sky over the desert opens and a blond hunk falls down to the earth. Now, isn’t this fitting: Jane Foster needs a man and she also happens to be a scientist looking for the Einstein-Rosen Bridge. She gets two for one: proof that wormholes exist (a scientific breakthrough) and a man (Nordic, muscular, medieval). But as the film progresses, as the man, Thor, destroys this and fights that, you begin to have second thoughts about Foster. Maybe all of that time she spent in the desert—looking at the skies, collecting data, checking data, writing research grants—had nothing to do with science and everything to do with finding a man. Some women go to a bar, or to a party, or online when they need a man. Foster goes to the desert with a research team and expensive equipment.
Lucky for her, there is another universe, and this other universe does have a man. And one day, this manly man falls from the sky and practically lands on her. He looks human enough, he talks enough English, and he has more than enough muscles. But before Foster can fuck him (SPOILER ALERT!), he goes back to his universe. This terrible movie happens to have a sad ending. 
Truly, all must praise Charles’ mighty review of Thor! But wait! Mine eyes doth crave the nimbly-arranged syllables of Paul Constant on this matter! By Odin, may we not also learn what opinions this movie hath forged in that admir’d critic’s subtle mind? Forsooth! Though it is fulfillment of a most greedy desire I seek, still shall I hearken to Slog and therein lurk in slobbering anticipation of a second Thor review.
May the gods forgive my avarice.
Though dripping with disdain and sarcasm, and incredibly short (I think he probably just watched a trailer or two and called it good), I think this is the first movie review from Mudede that I actually enjoy. And praise Odin for its lack of Marxist undertones.
He misinterpreted the physics in this movie. The wormholes don’t connect to other universes, they connect to distant parts of our universe. As a physics student who’d been writing her thesis all weekend, this movie was an enjoyable break for me. I liked the depiction of the physicists. They live in their abandoned gas station lab, and work all the time. That’s accurate, even if the physics itself isn’t.
@3: Mudede always misinterprets science, be it physics, biology, anthropology, really any type of scientific topic about which he chooses to bloviate. It’s apparently his thing.
God damn, you’d think this was written by a woman. A woman without technology or a man.
Nice one, Mudede. You covered the basic premise / what you thought was the main story. So how about the rest of the movie?
shit sandwich.
yeah…then six seconds of hemsworth without a shirt. Six seconds of lost time.