Commencing at 12:01 am this Friday is opening weekend of a new Sex and the City movie, otherwise known as Burning Man for the Cosmo set.
From the 2008 Last Days column that coincided with the first SATC film release:
FRIDAY, MAY 30 “Hi, Last Days,” writes Hot Tipper Amelia. “In an effort to stay out of the bars tonight, my friends and I decided to attend the 12:30 showing of the Sex and the City movie at Meridian 16, along with about a million high-school girls in uncomfortably fancy outfits. Carrie and friends appeared onscreen to squeals of delight—but about 10 minutes into the movie, a nondescript, non-bummy-looking girl across the aisle from me started vomiting, loudly and continuously for what seemed like eight minutes. It sounded like she was bailing out a sinking rowboat onto the concrete theater floor. The weirdest part was that in an incredible example of mob apathy, no one alerted the rent-a-cop or any other movie authorities. We were all punished for our silence 20 minutes later, when the puking girl’s friend (who’d been calmly watching the movie) suddenly dropped trou and started pissing on the floor. She steadied herself with one hand on the seat in front of her and took a seriously long drunk pee. The whole time she was doing it, she was defiantly staring at the people across the aisle from her. Then she went to sleep and started snoring like a lumberjack. It was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. When I finally told the usher what happened, he looked to his partner, a good-looking African-American SPD officer, and said, “Washington, it’s fun time.” The two reappeared from the theater with two incoherent, vaguely Asian-looking young ladies, both wearing summery white dresses covered in vomit and urine. The movie was pretty good.”
I look forward to more such reports from this weekend. To get us all in the mood, here’s Liza Minnelli‘s version of “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” from the Sex and the City 2 soundtrack. It is insane.
Why can’t Westboro protest stuff like this?
Morocco is a fine place to visit, but it’s nothing like Dubai.
Cool… 40-yr-old Mary Kate and Ashley wanna-be’s. Hunk Alert! OMG Shopping!!! What, what what?..the sheik bought me a huge diamond?!?!? I fell off a camel cuz I waz txtng LOL!
Holy crap that Single Ladies cover was terrible. I’m fairly certain Liza had a stroke half way through and they just kept recording.
…otherwise known as Burning Man for the Cosmo set.
Um, maybe if the theaters banned designer clothing, forced them to barter for tickets, dosed them all with MDMA, poured 2 tons of dust into the ventilation system, served nothing but Rainier in a can, and replaced the movie with DJs playing until dawn.
@5: Oh my god, I’m so so so sorry for mistaking you for someone with critical thinking skills in the past. I’ll never do it again.
This is almost worse than the whole Twilight thing.
This comment thread should be bronzed for @3 and @4’s comments alone. I LOLed.
@6 Lay off the burners man.
…this posting has me wanting to throw myself on a sword. gross in every single way – can we please get over ‘skanks in the city’. hasn’t kim cattrell reached “golden girls” status at this point?
@4 – I wondered why it reminded me of karaoke night at the home.
The actresses from Two Girls, One Cup showed up? Talk about a star studded event!
“”Washington, it’s fun time.”
Amazing.
Oh Liza, you slay me.
A better headline would be: “Unleash the Angry Men”. Nothing gets jerks fired up like a movie marketed specifically for women. This year includes (at last) a number of coinciding events where SATC fans can shop, drink and eat, and raise $$ for charities, so I’m expecting even more mockery than usual.
I know the movie might stink, but it’s so rare to see a blockbuster movie for women that there’s no way I’m missing out. And the addition of Liza is priceless.
@15 Really? So in order for a movie to be marketed towards women, it has to be all OMFG SHOOZ, CLOTHES, MENZ!! SQUEEEEEE!!!!
That’s just fucking depressing. Sorry, but I’d argue this is the worst affront to feminism since, well, the first movie. I just can’t accept that all women are mindless consumers looking for a husband… and that’s sadly what the SatC movies have devolved into since the show’s cancellation.
@16: Agreed.
@15: “I know the movie might stink, but it’s so rare to see a blockbuster movie for women that there’s no way I’m missing out.” So basically we should be grateful for anything we can get, even if it means supporting a deeply unflattering and stereotypical portrait of our sex (which, really, only feeds more fuel to this supposed “movies for women are stupid” man-fire). Woo, women?
Ugh. Anyway, I’m ok with movies not being “marketed” towards me; in fact, movies that think that kind of targeted marketing is the way to succeed generally turn out to be movies I don’t like. I’ll decide what movies are for me.
That song is one of the most offensive songs to single women everywhere.
@15..i’ll lend you tyler perry if you’d like ..
@6: I think you’ve mistaken me for someone who cares.