One of the perks of having gay parents: getting to stay up past your bedtime on school night to watch season premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race. That’s the new TV, by the way, and the old TV is over there in the corner.
9:05 PM: So what do you guys think of the new queens? I think that queens aren’t supposed to be seen up close on such a huge television…
9:15 PM: Okay… last year they sprayed the queens with water in the first ten minutes… this year it’s a wind machine. Hm… the light in the dressing room? Kind of harsh. And it’s hilarious watching their eyelashes flap in the wind. Shangela is the cutest boy. “I love a good blowjob.” Someone had to say it. And… Raven wins the first challenge… despite the ugly-ass lip piercings.
9:23 PM: OH MY GOD! TV GOES BLANK!
9:25 PM: Whew. Television working. Back to the show. I know the product placement is part of the deal, but oy. They are laying it on thick. “There were no ladies on that set today. There were men running for curtains.” That’s some profound shit. Ru is doing his best Tim Gunn. Guest judge: Kathy Griffin—how gay is that? And Santino from season-whatever-the-fuck of PR? WTF? (Okay, about the beige: this is the basement, people, where the TV lives. It was like this when we moved in, and the basement isn’t a high priority for us, interior-design-wise.)
9:36 PM: Much grander space for runway show—Ru got herself a real budget this time out! Tyra’s dress is lovely; Raven…meh. Sonique—amazing. JuJu… a little mother of the bride, as Ms. Kors might say. Then a maternity dress on that redhead whose name I didn’t get. Sahara… looks okay. Shangela… looks like she’s been packed to be shipped. Jessica… lovely, the face a bit overpainted. Morgan… very glam, very hot. Mystique… WTF with the splits? Nicole… a little severe. Pandora… kind of a mess, little mother-of-the-bride.
“If they send the big girl home on the first show again this time,” says a friend, “that’ll be sad.”
Drag is an art, but the art is in the performance, not in the construction of garments. I don’t think it’s fair to judge the girls strictly on the dresses they whip out under duress and a ten second strut down the runway. (And, bitches, I didn’t put the speakers anywhere. They were sitting there when I got home. The boyfriend put ’em there. And maybe we don’t want to be surrounded by sound? Maybe we prefer the sound in front of us, huh? Maybe we’re afraid of the sound of drag queens sneaking up behind us?)
9:45 PM: Gone with the window—he he he. And… the big girl, of course, is the funniest. Griffin: “Nothing says ‘Civil War’ like ‘my Asian boyfriend.'” The television commercials so far: vodka, AIDS meds, substance abuse services, tubs of vegetable oil—gay life in a nutshell, huh?
9:53 PM: Tyra is safe… Shangela is up for elimination… Morgan wins this challenge! Oooh! A photo spread in Lux Magazine—that’s awesome! Wait, what the hell is Lux Magazine? Pandora is safe… and Mystique, the big girl, is SAFE! The big girl isn’t going home on the first show! Sahara is up for elimination… Ooh… vicious! Friends pitted against each other. We predict that Shangela, the five monther, is going home. More splits! Cartwheels! Brutal efforts to upstage each other! There are no friends when bitches are lipsynching for their lives!
And Shangela is going home—and, yeah, Saraha is “sad” about sending her friend home. Um, bullshit.
Ru’s end-of-show catch phrase doesn’t make any fucking sense. What does, “And remember: if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else,” have to do with anything?
10:01 PM: Wait, there’s an after show? WTF? And WTF is up with RuPaul’s mustache? Not live blogging the after show. Got a traumatized child to put to bed. Talk it up in comments, if you care to.
GAWD WHAT IS UP WITH UR APARTMENT JEEEEEEEZ
Cracking up that this turned into an interior design thread. Poor Dan. Loved Drag Race. Love Ru. Probably dated Pandora in high school. I did so love a geeky boy with a cute smile that turns up gay.
Hey Dan,
Can you post a few more pics of other views of your basement?
@50 – why do you caaaaare? You saw it once in a picture, and I bet Dan’s not gonna invite you over for the next DragRace viewing any time soon….that being said, can I come?
And dude, seriously? “WAAAAAAAY too many gay homes [… ] are either bland hovels or look like Pottery Barn showrooms…” Uhm, I’m pretty sure that generalization works for *all* homes. Pretty sure Pottery Barn was invented for people who have no idea how to decorate but want their homes to look ‘expensive.’
Dan, you know we only criticize because we love you…..
There is a triathlete forum where people frequently post pictures of themselves on their bike, set up on a trainer in some part of their house, asking for people to “critique my position.” The next 30 comments are critiquing anything visible in the picture other than the bike.
“Replace the wallpaper!”
“Can’t you clean the baseboards?”
“What’s with all the trash in you garage?”
“Where the hell did you get those curtains?”
I found this thread just as amusing!
did anyone else notice dan’s old broke-ass tv in the background? that looks exactly like my apartment–we also just got a new, mortifyingly high tech tv and the old one is sitting in the hallway waiting to be carted off to an appropriate facility ( which i’m guessing is what mr savage is doing…y’all know old tvs have 8 lbs of lead in them? can’t send them to a landfill.)
incidentally, my old tv was also a teenager
I do enjoy the show, but as Dan said, it’s not a true drag challenge. Drag challenges may include having to pull together an ensemble, but it shouldn’t actually require sewing. Many queens I know can’t sew a stitch. If they can’t afford to commission it (most can’t), they pull together something fabulous and vintage from Goodwill-type stores.
But the biggest issue I have is that drag competitions should be about performance, and a catwalk is at best the most minute fraction of a performance. A true challenge would give the girls a theme and perhaps a modest budget, and force them to pull together a performance from that — including song selection, outfit, lipsynching or live singing, perhaps even props. Of course, I totally understand that RuPaul doesn’t have the budget to pay song royalties. But perhaps they could work with a handful of labels or artists to pull together a list of acceptable songs to choose from. Because this show, while entertaining, isn’t a true drag competition.
@54 I don’t give a shit what Dan’s house looks like but I’m thinking of The Kid…it hurts children to grow up in ugly surroundings…(I also find it amusing that a big ole former dragster who loves show tunes isn’t interested in attractive home decor but that’s what make us all interesting as human beings, the dichotomy of our natures…)
and, my point was that there is a dumb misconception that all, or at least most gay men have fabulous taste. Percentage wise we might be a bit more decorative than the straights, but it’s a small percentage…MOST people either live in drab hovels or blandly decorated furniture showrooms.
I’m glad I’m not the only parent in America who lets her kids watch drag queens. I feel so much better about my parenting skills, now.
It’s been my experience that gay men either have exquisite taste (like mine!) or absolutely no taste at all, like having a beige family room. (Just kidding, Dan). There’s really no in-between.
Hey beige haters, at least it’s not WHITE.
Dan, did you watch yourself on Joy Behar the other night on the new set? Freaky, huh!
Oh crap, that isn’t what I meant at all in @63. Note to self, DO NOT POST AT BEDTIME.
I didn’t mean YOU looked freaky, I meant it was so freakily cool to go from that old RCA set you’re getting rid of and going to the new LIFE SIZE version you got. Everything on the new set is clear and crisp, you can clearly see your eye color, every eyebrow hair and your chin dimple looks huge. That’s what I meant, it’s freaky how close up and in person everyone looks, almost like you could reach out and touch them. By the way, you always look great and your shirts look fine, they’re neutral and blend in with any background.
I was however disappointed that Joy didn’t keep you around for the rest of the show. I was really begging she would cut to you for comments as the show progressed.
@ 63, white is infinitely more tasteful than beige. Gah…
Hey Dan, it’s not only a perk of gay parents. I’m a single mom and my 9 year old daughter was allowed to stay up last night for the premiere. We love it. And Shangela should have won.
Arg!! Anyone know if Drag Race is playing in Canada or where I can download it? My usual torrent search found NOTHING… 🙁
Sadness.
Why are people so focused on the beige and not focused on the sheer excess of a TV that big. Plus, teevee is worthless. Sorry. It is. A waste of time. Not something to get a child addicted to. American excess. Revolting. The end.