Meet Nadia Abdelrhman, a Stranger reader who has vowed to do everything The
Stranger suggests for the entire month of March. Look for her reports daily on Slog and Line Out. —Eds.
Being that I am from Jersey and of a certain age, I have previously enjoyed Kevin Smith films. But we all suspected that Cop Out was going to suck.
Sure enough, no one else was in the theater. (Which brings up the question: Do they just roll a movie anyway if no one buys a ticket? Do they end the film midway through?)
While Bruce Willis keeps busy collecting his social security checks, Tracy Morgan has a couple of funny moments, and his romance with Rashida Jones reminds me of how good he looks in a diaper. Adam Brody and Kevin Pollak act out Kevin Smith’s hokey gay fantasies; Seann William Scott is high on a lot of drugs. Incidentally, Kevin Smith directs the film that will likely be to blame for his first heart attack.
Cop Out was so bad that I had to go home and drink enough gin and juice to erase Guillermo Díaz from my shrunken brain. Afterward, I tried to write my review (as Lindy West), only to end up in the fetal position, muttering gibberish. When I awoke this morning, I felt like a hollow shell, because Cop Out made me projectile-vomit my soul.
So, what, recommendation approved?
Yeah, this actually kind of made me want to see it more.
I approve of watching this movie and then using it as a scapegoat for my alcoholism.
My favorite review of yours so far. I like the implication that non-projectile soul vomiting would not be quite enough.
were jay & silent bob in it?
This is the most complimentary review of Cop Out I’ve read. Thanks for the reminder to hit the liquor store beforehand.
I don’t know…I’m sure the movie sucks, but as far as your projectile vomiting is concerned, I’d say the alcohol is the more likely culprit.
HER NAME IS AAAAALLLICCCEEEE
SHE CRAWLS IN TO THE WINDOW
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH-BLAH BLAH
HER NAME IS ALLLLLLICCCCCEEEEE
BLAH BLAH BLAH-BLAH-BLAH BLAH
The DO run films if nobody is there – but just for the first reel or so, in case someone shows up late. Then it’s curtains. I remember going to see “Crocodile Dundee in LA” in a theatre and being the only person there, and the usher actually asked me if I thought I was going to make it through the whole film. I did.
@9.
Not true in most cases. They just shut off the projector bulb. There is no rewind on cinema sized film projectors, so the film has to run through so that it is set for the next show. (That’s also why they can’t go back when a show starts.)
This movie looks SO fucking annoying. When the previews come on the TV, I mute or turn the channel
I haven’t seen it yet, but BOO anyway!! FTW
I enjoyed this review a ridiculous amount. Possibly more than a Lindy review, because of the lack of over-capitalization and egregious punctuation. Well done.
Man, I’m in my mid-30’s (which I think would have landed me in the “target audience” for a bunch of his previous films) and pretty much hated everything Kevin Smith ever directed. Well, actually I guess I’ve only seen maybe two movies in their entirety — “Chasing Amy”, which was terrible, and “Dogma”, which was terrible. Don’t know why I always seemed to have friends raving about him. I even saw bits & pieces of “Clerks”, most of which I found to be, not surprisingly, terrible.
Maybe he should be disallowed from boarding future airplanes not because he’s so fat, but simply in an effort to prevent him from directing any more terrible movies.