Bar Exam

A week ago Monday night, the owners, staff, and assorted family and
fans of Bizzarro gathered to drink a lot of beer and watch
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives at the nearby Blue Star Cafe &
Pub. Bizzarro, a perennial favorite Italian restaurant in Wallingford,
is known for its stuff-stuck-all-over-the-place decor.
DD&D, a Food Network hit series, is known for its host, Guy
Fieri, an overenthused meathead with bleached-blond spiked hair.

While Bizzarro fails to fit into any of the “D” categories, it had
been selected for an episode called “Funky Joints.” The fan
overlap between Bizzarro and the show seemed minimal, and the addition
of another “D”—”Douchebag”—was proposed more than once
during the viewing. Fieri, however, has won the national popularity
contest decisively: The victor of 2006’s The Next Food Network
Star, he now has three shows and a webpage where men, women,
children, and hedgehogs who look like him upload their images in
tribute.

Bizzarro staff wore, for the hell of it, the same outfits they wore
for filming (here a natty blue vest, there a big red rose against a black lapel). The televised Fieri wore white sunglasses on
the back of his head and a Swingers-style
neo–bowlingshirt. (On “Guy Day” of the two-day film shoot, a rack
of such shirts was rolled in for Fieri’s wardrobe choosing.) Hoots and
hollers met the on-screen appearance of Bizzarro, while Fieri said
things like, “If it’s wild, I’ll find it!” and
“Bizzarro—where the only thing you can expect is THE
UNEXPECTED.”

The segment made much of the “bizarre-o” backgrounds of the two
owners. One, Andrew Bray, was shown wearing a tutu in a still
photograph from his Teatro ZinZanni days. The other, Jodi-Paul Wooster,
was described as a “former actor” (“Well, I guess I never have to do
that again,” he said, nonplussed). In reality, Bizzarro’s been a
haven for theater people, both for work and leisure, for two decades;
Bray and Wooster are longtime employees who bought the restaurant last
fall. Kitchen scenes highlighted house-made pasta—”Where has this
been all my life!” said Fieri, drinking clam linguini sauce directly from the bowl—and Fieri repeatedly fist-bumping the
chef.

The show’s producer told Wooster that business would skyrocket
post-episode; Bizzarro would, apparently, receive inquiries from
DD&D pilgrims about the nearest hotels. While being warmly
congratulated by all, Wooster worried about the impact. Would he have
to play the tiny piano, as seen on TV, constantly? Someone
suggested he hire an(other) actor.

The next evening at 6:00 p.m., Bizzarro was full, and not a
single one of the customers had ever been to the restaurant
before—they had all watched the show. The tiny piano was
played.