Grim’s is a “social networking beer hall.” It is also “steampunk.” Grim’s says this on its website; it also says it is “the newest ‘it’ bar.” Whether “it” or not “it”—the mind reels before you even set foot in the place—Grim’s is the newest bar on Capitol Hill. It’s in the space where Grey Gallery & Lounge used to be, brought to you by the Po Dog/Auto Battery people. Po Dog is an upscale hot-doggery, and Auto Battery is an auto-repair-shop-themed sports bar. These people want to complicate your world.

Last Thursday night around 7:30,
Grim’s was packed to the exposed wooden beams; everyone had a name tag. Something called Mashable was happening. Messages originating from the iPhones of those in the room were being broadcast on a screen; the long wooden communal tables were littered with flyers for things like nology (apparently a proper noun, seeking to help you “Build Your Social Brand in 30 Days”). The room had been carpet bombed with bags of popchips™. Capital letters had fled the scene.

Where Grey Gallery had a relatively simple interior, what could be seen of Grim’s during the Mashable betrayed a full-scale Quinn’s/Smith–style installation. One wall had been upholstered in a coat of weathered wood; another had a fresh layer of “worn” fleur-de-lis wallpaper; to another, a bunch of antique-looking door hardware had been affixed. I made my way to the bar (which has old-timey post-office-box doors and library-
type drawers underneath it), where I put on the abandoned name tag of someone named, improbably, Timm, and ordered a Drink of the Night—vodka, lime, ginger beer. It came, ineluctably, in a mason jar.

People continued to Mashable all around. A seat at one of the long communal tables was found (a seat that swung out from under the table on an old-timey metal arm-apparatus). A big glossy poster taped to a nearby rusted-metal wall showed a gleaming new platinum-colored Cadillac and read “TWEET YOUR WAY TO A NEW CAR!”A passing Mashable man was asked, “What is this event?” “It’s mostly marketing people,” he said. “Only a few content people.” He glanced with a modicum of subtlety at my name tag. “I’m Timm,” I said. “Very nice to meet you.”

A waiter was flagged down, and an herbed leek and Asiago grilled cheese was ordered. It cost $6.95 and turned out to be very good—the leeks melting into the melty cheese, the bread perfectly toasted and not too greasy. Also quite good: a French dip. (The menu, unlike the place, is uncomplicated: sandwiches, snacks.) Despite a puckeringly vinegary side salad, I was a content person. The Mashable dispersed. recommended

27 replies on “Bar Exam”

  2. Ok, Po dog is NOT an upscale hotdog restaurant. It’s an overpriced bar serving hotdogs with weird toppings. They don’t make their own sausage or htodogs the last time I checked.

  3. Agreed, loved the leek and asiago sandwich. Their dark and stormy was pretty good too. I recommend attend on a night sans marketing people.

  11. I had a good enough time there. It kind of felt like whoever themed the place was fighting against me, though. I’ll go back, but it probably won’t become a regular spot or anything.

  13. Victorian frat house punk?

    Ok, that’s not fair. I haven’t been inside yet but I’ve fond the crowd daunting. I’ve heard good about the food.

  15. If Grey’s experience is predictive, this place will only be here for a short while before the landlord pulls some dick move, terminates the lease, and then tries to sue for the tens of thousand of dollars of “damages” caused by the build-out.

  20. went there once – the service sucked so bad we left after one drink.
    the bartender was too busy checking his phone and then talking on it to even run our credit cards – it took at least 15 min from the time we asked for the check to even get it. “It” bar? LOL more like “_ _it” bar! drinks were ok and my friend had some food he thought was good. the front door looks out of place with the redesign. it needs some more thought. you’ll see what i’m talking about.

  21. “Intricate drink specialties, creative menu items, and attentive staff this bar is sure to be a hit when looking for a classy yet comfortable place to get a drink and a bite to eat.”

    Direct quote from their poorly written website copy. I also enjoyed how they have to translate all their cute terms: Provisions (food).

  24. lol @24…I sometimes feel like i’m the only person in the world who *doesn’t* enjoy jars-as-cups. (because I use them as tupperware and you damn kids keep drinking out of my jars and now I have nowhere to put this leftover soup!!)

  25. I don’t care how people label it. I will always try something once & judge it for myself. I’ve been there a few times and sat upstairs with friends. Seems like a good meet up spot and then move on to somewhere else.

  26. This place is too full of itself and the service was horrid.
    Why do more and more places make me feel like I’m bothering them when I want to order a drink or food???

Comments are closed.