Chew on This

1. One thing the tube has going for it is that it resembles food. Sure, we know that a hot dog is not food, but we see the shape and our brains think it is similar (like a carrot; like a cucumber; like a roll of sweet tarts).

   The brain cannot be fooled with these new shapes.

2. Hot dogs are as much food as is tofu. Except that hot dogs taste good and are good for you. Don’t feed kids food they can’t eat.

3. Make them into little cubes. I don’t know why.

4. Before I read the post, I thought the shape on the left was a piece of Bazooka Gum.

5. Y’know, even though I have never liked hot dogs, that condiment carrier groove could be loaded up with enough relish or mustard to actually make the thing edible.

6. Yes, because cutting hot dogs lengthwise into halves or quarters — or better yet, serving bologna — or better yet, actually being there while your child eats so you can do something if he starts choking is just too damned much to ask of some people.

   While we’re at it, let’s put pads on all furniture and fill the Grand Canyon with concrete, to prevent people falling in.

   In 2006, 61 kids choked to death on food. Sixty. One.

   Food choking hazards are effectively nil. This is a nonexistent problem being put forth by babbling idiots.

7. How exactly is the shape of the hotdog before it’s chewed responsible for choking deaths?

8. warreno, read more, spew less:

   More than 10,000 children under 14 go to the emergency room each year after choking on food, and up to 77 die, says the new policy statement, published online today in Pediatrics. About 17% of food-related asphyxiations are caused by hot dogs. … . “I’m a pediatric emergency doctor, and to try to get them out once they’re wedged in, it’s almost impossible

   I’m not sure I understand the urgency of condiment containers in the hot dogs but maybe that’s like the nonsense they made up about QWERTY keyboards being faster. Helps it sell I guess.

9. Note that the tube shape is the shape of the hot dog bun already. Condiments are not the problem. The problem is hysteria. 77 children a year choke to death on hot dogs, in a country with how many millions of children who don’t? So let’s re-design a basic food item (and why stop with hot dogs: why not ALL SAUSAGES?), spend however many millions retrofitting our sausage factories? Think of the factories! They’re the future. And what about string cheese? Any other thing shaped vaguely thoat-ish?

10. Um. Don’t feed your kids hot dogs?

11. People feed their kids a lot of hot dogs because it’s the cheapest meat you can buy. And they’ve been told a thousand times that without meat they won’t get enough protein and without a pound of protein a day they will die.

    I know you don’t all only shop at Whole Foods. Look around.

12. People feed their kids a lot of hot dogs because it’s the cheapest meat you can buy. And they’ve been told a thousand times that without meat they won’t get enough protein and without a pound of protein a day they will die.

    I know you don’t all only shop at Whole Foods. Look around.

13. Also. Compare the 70-some choking deaths of children per year to the 19 deaths total linked (including indirectly) to defective Toyota cars. The whole world is in an uproar because a grand total of 19 people have died in accidents that might have had something to do, directly or indirectly, with Toyotas having messed up gas pedals.

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