I am sorry, nice woman sitting next to me at Cafe Presse right now, that I just made that really, really gross loud noise.
See, I was just trying to clear my throat, but then midway through it awkwardly transformed into a cough, which resulted in this involuntary, open-mouthed, protracted sound:
“UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Did it help that I pretend-coughed for an unnecessarily long time afterwards, as though it would somehow obliterate the memory of the really gross loud noise? I hope so. Enjoy your latte.
Love,
Lindy
(On a related note: I enjoy the Croque Campagnard very much.)
Lindy (Well, actually, all Stranger staff) –
You don’t have to Slog *everything* that happens to you. Discretion is the better part of banality.
Please make a note of it.
i’ve done that before. i bet that lady has too.
Have you ever cleared your throat, and had it turn into a cough, and had that sort of catch a little more than you expected, and ended up with a gob of sticky phlegm in your hand? That’s a nice one. Even nicer if you’re a boor and don’t cover your mouth with your hand. I did it just the other day, only my hands were full, so I turned and coughed into my arm, and ended up with a gob of yellowish nasty on my shirt sleeve. Despite my prayers, the earth did not immediately open up and swallow me.
That post represents the worst of Seattle.
You could just turn to her and apologize, you passive-aggressive dumbass. How self-centered of you, to think a) that she reads Slog, and b) that we care. And that makes you not really sorry, doesn’t it?
@5: too busy. next!
@ 1: I think you mean disclosure is the better part of banality.
Agree with 5. What a waste of energy typing this shit out.
Jesus, Fnarf, I was eating!
I lol’d
And Lindy, you could blog every sneeze and I’d read it. Actually, Fnarf, too. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.
I just ejaculated in my mouth a little.
Sorry. I can’t really recommend eating and Slogging for the dainty, though.
Pull your eyes away from your navel.
@8:
You mean, as opposed to the waste of energy typing a not-even-barely-amusing snark required?
Ogs! what a universal sentiment. especially @6.
Yes, the Croque Campagnard is great, but the Croque Madame is Queen.
@3 Fnarf, wow almost like being there. So, ewww!
OT funny headline. On my iGoogle news amalgamator the USA Today headline is “NYPD commits suicide over Taser episode.”
Um, I think you left a word out there guys.
@12 That made me laugh harder than anything else I’ve read today.
If we’re taking a vote, I vote in favor of Slog posts about Lindy’s gross throat noises.
@11: Yesssssssss!
The more Lindy West, the better!
At least it was thoraco-cranial rather than abdomino-rectal.
All hail Lindy!
What is the state of things when someone gets called out for being passive-aggressive in the comments section of a blog?
I think I can hear the forest weeping.
PS Lindy: Maybe next time you can just jack up the action and make a huge coughing fit and turn over tables and swipe utensils to the floor. DRAMA!!! For fun, n’ stuff.
@3: You might want to take that shirt sleeve to the nearest Dutch Boy paint store:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18364056
“METHODS: Out-patient sputum samples submitted to the microbiology laboratory for routine analysis were assigned to one of 8 color categories (green, yellow-green, rust, yellow, red, cream, white, and clear), based on a key made from paint chip color samples.”
@24: uh, I’ll keep that in mind. My yellowish was due to coffee consumption, so I don’t think the NIH will be too interested.
Its always fun to read the comments section of Lindy’s posts to see how many times she writes, “OMFG Lindy West! You are the funniest thing on earth!!!!” under different names.