Description: The profoundly charming Loretta’s Northwesterner occupies an antiquated building in South Park. A silver trailer rests on its vast back patio, and inside, the low and narrow front room is outfitted with dim lights, dusky green walls, and a couple vintage handsaws. Light-up beer signs depict fantasy woodsy scenes, lending a blue-collar glamour, and owner Scott Horrell (who also runs Georgetown’s 9 Lb. Hammer) built the bar himself using parts from old staircases, doors, and bleacher seats.
About Loretta: The name connotes a vivid figure—a lovely young woman in a gingham nightgown, with autumn hair arranged in piles and men always falling in love with her because they can’t have her. It’s also the name of Scott’s mother, and her framed photo sits on a shelf behind the bar alongside a couple cans of Cheez Whiz and a mounted collection of fishing flies Scott made in sixth grade.
Also on display: Laura Wright’s sculptural textile “Survival Blanket: Flash by Sea,” a chunky mass of stitched-together life jackets. Her past works include utility fabrics embedded with scythes, boxing gloves, and flasks filled with actual whiskey.
Happy hours: Mon–Fri 3–6 pm,
Sat–Sun all day.
Happy-hour drink specials: $1 Hamm’s (weekdays and Sunday),
$4 Bloody Marys and mimosas (weekends only).
Happy-hour food specials: None, but the basic burgers—on a buttered bun, with pickles, onions, and secret sauce—are perfectly tasty and always just $3, so you might as well keep ordering them. 
I LIVE to LOVE this place!!! The burgers are next to a Heavenly Sin… and the beautiful girls who work there are as well. I can go in by myself and not be disturbed. However… I wouldn’t mind if next time the gorgeous cook who brings out my burger with the Kitty Tattoo on her neck says Hello!!