Still under the shock of the smell at Le Panier (but I came back there and the smell had vanished, so it must have come from some Thursday-stinking-spirit), I went to visit Le Fournil. I got lost while I was going there because I’m not yet familiar with your transportation system. And on my getting lost business, I was wondering what you guys have been doing since we Europeans invented the train in 1804. Seattle is more than three times wider than Paris, but you only have buses and a brand-new unfinished light rail? I expected better from you. I know it’s quite hard to build metro and train lines with a lot of hills, but Westlake tunnel proves that you know how to deal with underground construction (Westlake station is very beautiful, by the way). What have you been doing then?
Bref, I eventually managed to get to the place. No smell struck me. That’s not bad. But it’s not really good neither, since a very good bakery is supposed to attract you with a delightful flavour (but French bakeries may use some bakery-flavoured spray, who knows?). I was impressed to see there was a tartelette aux fraises behind the vitrine. That’s one my favourite desserts, and it looked so attractive I couldn’t help but take a picture of it.
Their vitrine was full with varied patisseries and it was delighting. I had not tasted anything yet, but I already knew this place would earn an A or a B mark. Enthusiastic, I took a croissant and a warm baguette campagnarde, just picked out from the oven, and had a seat. The thickness of the croissant was stunning. It looked like one from the best French boulangeries. I couldn’t believe it. I approached it to my mouth and smelled this delicate and unforgettable perfume. So good. Then my teeth went in the croissant, and the taste bud(die)s on my tongue started a party. I don’t know how to translate it all in English, so I’ll write it in French and you’ll figure out a way to understand what I mean. C’était délicieux. Savoureux. Goûteux. Tendre et croustillant en même temps. Fabuleux. Exaltant. Jouissif. Oui, jouissif.
It was great. Then, I had a try on the baguette. I always start by eating the quignon (the tip of the baguette) while I’m in the street. In my family, that’s the reward of the one who goes to the bakery to buy the baguette. But when this bit of bread entered my mouth, the fairy tale music in my head ceased at once. There is nothing wrong with this baguette. Except that it is a baguette campagnarde. I should have been more careful. Let me explain it to you. “Campagnarde” means that it comes from the countryside. Hence, a baguette campagnarde is prepared and cooked according to the countryside’s habits. But I’m not a guy from the countryside. I’m a Parisian. And Parisian people are the worst French people in the whole country.
Every French drawback is multiplied by four when it comes to a Parisian person. We are four times more proud, fierce, arrogant, snob, and contemptuous than other French people (but our assets are multiplied by four too, so it’s fine). They hate us but we hate them more. We consider them as underclass citizens since they do not live into the boundaries of our marvelous city. We despise them. But we also despise those who live in the suburbs. “Beyond the ringroad, no salvation!” is our motto. And the worst Parisians (which I’m part of) also despise those who live on the right bank of the Seine, this river that flows in the heart of Paris. The only ones we consider as our equals are those who dwell on the left shore, la rive gauche.
Now you may understand why the enchantment did not last with this countryside-taste baguette. If I put aside the fact that I’m a horrible spoiled Parisian guy, this baguette is very good, especially since it was warm when I bought it. There is still some flour on it, proof of its authenticity, and it is quite salted. Given the quality of this food, the price ($1,75 each) is totally acceptable.
According to me, this place deserves a A-.
Good points:
• The taste
• The taste
• The taste
• The price (but it’s not very relevant when the taste is so good)
Bad points:
• The location: as a Parisian guy, more than 10 minutes in a bus frightens me. Why are you so far from downtown?
• The countryside origins of your bread. I despise you, paysans.
• Where is the good smell when entering the shop? But the taste feels so good that I don’t really care, eventually.
Listen Frenchy, only we locals can bitch about how our bus system is inefficient and any sort of trains below ground or above never get made. Stop hating Seattle!
If you want the best French pastries in Seattle, go to Boulangerie Nantaise on 4th Ave in Belltown. Here’s a clue: it’s French-owned. The Notre Dame sandwich makes me want to slap my mama it’s so good. Same with the palmier and pain au chocolat and pain aux raisins. But my first true love is the plain croissant…so lovely and delicious.
The only part of this review I disagree with is about the smell: The (many) times I’ve been, there’s always been a warm, yeasty, buttery smell — it doesn’t reach far onto the sidewalk, but it always hits when you open the door.
Or maybe I’ve been ruined by American bakeries such that the faintest whiff is enough for me, but I’ll gladly take that.
#49 Bus get off at Eastlake and Harvard. A half block walk.
This one actually made me smile.
Moral of the story: It’s okay to loath everything, as long as you remember to loath yourself.
To Julien:
While I appreciate you acknowledging your own cultural biases in this piece (though you seem to be reveling in your short-sightedness rather than gaining any actual introspection), I just don’t understand the cross-cultural value to either the author or the reader in having you report back to the denizens of Seattle that “french” things here aren’t the same as in France.
If you are homesick and looking for familiarity, that is one thing–but I would rather read about that journey than your encounter with peasant bread–amazingly, in all your bitching, you never actually described the difference between parisian v country bread, only that the one in which you have more familiarity is perceived to be superior, by you.
De Toqueville and more recently Bernard Henri Levy wrote brilliant and engaging examinations of the American culture, legal and political systems through the eyes of a Frenchman. They did so, however, not by hanging out Au Bon Pain and complaining that it’s not Paris, but by actually diving into and experiencing American culture, politics and jury trials.
Your first two pieces read like a bad standup act complaining about airline food. This piece is entirely meaningless to the audience and horribly self-indulgent.
Your readers are here–be a troll or try to craft yourself as an antihero if you so desire, but please step it up a bit.
je t’adore, julien.
Thursday-stinking-spirit.
Hooray!
Try to experience something American, or at least Seattleite, instead of going to French-inspired American businesses and bitching that they aren’t French enough or that the French would have travelled there differently.
Either experience America and give us a thoughtful outsider’s perspective or go back to France and enjoy French things without constantly whining. You sound like an underbred, overweight tourist: “Oh, they don’t do this as good as home. Back home this is much better. They just don’t do things right here, do they?”
What the hell is the point of any of your puerile, superficial, homesick ramblings?
Boy, Seattleites really hate it when people don’t adore Seattle.
I love French Intern. More, please.
Please stay forever and review all of the French restaurants and bakeries. You should be courted by all of them after this review.
This guy is officially awesome.
test
@2 sounds good.
Your railway history is wrong, and you’ll get some argument from Brits that Enad and Wales aren’t in Europe at all. But whatever your position on that absurdity your date of 1804 is wrong. Passenger railway, yes, but it was horse-drawn.
The first railway that meets all of the modern conditions demanded by the term “train” (running on tracks, steam power, pulled by a locomotive instead of a stationary engine with cables, scheduled service rather than whenever the mine cars filled, carrying both passengers and freight) started running between Liverpool and Manchester in 1830.
As for why we don’t have better in-city train service, it’s a bit unfair to compare Paris to Seattle. Paris is France’s New York. Seattle is perhaps closer to the Montpellier or Toulouse of America, and while those cities have tram networks that surpass ours, I’ll wager that their overall bus network is less comprehensive than ours, and in markedly less difficult circumstances.
I love this. It is great to get an outsider’s view of Seattle. And I love French Intern’s sense of humor. Please keep him forever.
@6 give poor Julien a break. He’s an INTERN and you expect De Toqueville?
And Julien, all those you cars you see everywhere? Each American is required to own three or four of them. That’s why the mass transit system seems so behind the times.
I went to Paris and the hamburgers sucked!
Too wordy, Julien. Try to be more succinct, lest anyone think you’re talkin’ out loud but ain’t sayin’ nuthin.
I’m in love.
I love how every post about French food leads to one new suggestion in comments sending Julien all across town. This will end up with someone sending him to Tacoma for the best French food in Seattle.
The translation, if anyone wants it:
It was delicious. Savory. Tasty. Soft and crispy at the same time. Fabulous. Exalting. Orgasmic. Yes, orgasmic.
Are you kidding me? Every time I bite into one of Le Fournil’s croissants I am only greeted with sadness. As of the writing of this older article (http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Conte&hellip😉 their croissants were great- flaky and delicious. Since then, the croissants have grown in size, but have come to be the consistency of something I’d buy from safeway’s day old bakery- doughy and the consistency of a fruit roll-up. My only guess is that Fournil’s been sold a time or two or management’s changed since their heyday. I’m just sad that I have to travel from my u district hood all the way to ballard (you know where I’m talking– don’t repeat the name here, the line’s too long already) just to get a good pastry.
I’m sure Le Fournil is a fine lunch place and the desserts look good, but they killed the good croissants and are dead to me.
@6 Actually, once we shuffle Julien through all the Americanized French stuff, the Stranger should really take him out to the guts of American cuisine.
Big Mario’s Pizza
American BBQ
Seattle Mariners, but hurry, season is almost done (what’s more American? Hot dog + shitty beer: go)
Ivars
Saltys on Alki
Puyallap Fair
Dicks (seriously, have you guys taken him yet? Dick’s Deluxe, Fries, chocolate shake)
“the taste bud(die)s on my tongue started a party”
oooohhhh. and here i am contemplating raisin bran for breakfast. yay me. 🙁
i went to paris and the pho sucked!
….freedom fries!
Are you kidding me? Every time I bite into one of Le Fournil’s croissants I am only greeted with sadness. As of the writing of this older article (http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Conte…) their croissants were great- flaky and delicious. Since then, the croissants have grown in size, but have come to be the consistency of something I’d buy from safeway’s day old bakery- doughy and the consistency of a fruit roll-up. My only guess is that Fournil’s been sold a time or two or management’s changed since their heyday. I’m just sad that I have to travel from my u district hood all the way to ballard (you know where I’m talking– don’t repeat the name here, the line’s too long already) just to get a good pastry.
I’m sure Le Fournil is a fine lunch place and the desserts look good, but they killed the good croissants and are dead to me.
@25,
Salty’s? Do you want him to hate America?
As an HVAC engineer, I’m coming to suspect a difference in our ventilation codes. ASHRAE 62.1 tells us that bakeries are required to have 0.12 CFM/SF of exhaust. Add that’s just a minimum – add the required hoods over heat-generating equipment (like ovens), and you’re talking about serious airflow. France’s standards? I’m not sure, but knowing how leinent other European codes generally are with regard to ventilation I wouldn’t be surprised if there weren’t any.
Are French bakeries generally quite warm? If so, that’s probably the smell difference – air changes. Low airflow may be less safe (in other types of kitchens where there is grease) and less comfortable (in the summer), but definately preferable when creating a good bakery environment.
Does he have to go back to France?
@29 oops — I meant Spud, not Salty’s. Take Julien to Spud.
Vous n’aimez pas le paysage et les paysans? Incroyable!
In all seriousness, I always understood French cuisine to be VERY regional, with all the major food traditions originating in the provinces, if interpreted at a very high level in Paris. Was I wrong?
@5: I fucked up the spelling of loathe, and now *I’m* filled with self loathing.
blah blah blah. you’ve got to hang out on the east side and get your republican “center-right” shit on before you understand anything in a wide scale about us. go hang with a rossi possie. go to an applebees. many times.
or if that’s too far go sit in the bar at fox sports downtown from happy hour till… close. and talk to people. dont be an anthropologist. just hang out and get to know america.
and ask Those People why we don’t have rapid transit.
@33, yes, all the great food traditions of France originated in the provinces…of Italy.
The French intern reviews French food yet again? Yawn.
This may sound crazy, but have you considered doing anything else during your stay here besides sampling French cuisine and lecturing us about it?
Are those napoleons I see in the picture?
Ahhh, I’m drooling. It’s been years since I’ve had one of those.
Smell this…
What @11 said.
Also I was very pleased to see “snob” used as an adjective once again. Julien, please continue doing this. Thank you.
The Stranger should send Lindy West to Paris to write about their burritos.
I am in favor of the French Intern.
When he is sadly cast back, can we get a Vietnamese intern to review the Pho houses?
@42 and 43, in addition to Julien using “snob” as a modifier Lindy last week suggested we all start using “goof” as a verb, as in, “he’s so snob he said ‘zut!’ when he goofed in me.”
@39 – I’m a Black Southerner living in Seattle. Do you want me to review Southern-cuisine restaurants here? Will I get called a “snobby know-nothing” hick for my reviews?
I <3 the French Intern.
@43: No, then we’ll just get the “I’ve lived in Mexico” snobs telling us how you can’t get a REAL burrito here. And on it goes…
@ 48, people from the Southwest can tell you that. No need to import actual Mexicans for that one.
I am loving the French intern, and think it’s hilarious how many people are getting their panties wadded up in big bunches over his posts.