In his book Dataclysm: Who We Are (When We Think No One’s Looking), OkCupid cofounder Christian Rudder notes that the word “pizza” appears almost as high up on the list of frequently used words in dating profiles as the word “the.” It’s scientific proof: Humans fucking love pizza. Rudder’s data reveals we love it regardless of our gender or ethnicity or sexual orientation.
But even pizza has its limits. It’s terrific for dinner, and it’s a fabulous cold breakfast, but pizza makes for problematic lunch fare. If you take a pizza break in the middle of the day, you’re most likely going to spend the rest of your afternoon wishing you could nap off the ball of cheese and bread demanding your body’s full attention. Pizza is only a smart lunchtime choice under two very strict conditions: You skipped breakfast (and probably even dinner the night before) and you’re about to undertake some physical activity—preferably a long walk—to ward off the inevitable sleepiness…