The square dancing of candy versus sheer greatness.

The Washington State Legislature is about to make the most important
decision of 2009. This decision has nothing to do with the viaduct or
Sound Transit or education or arts budgets. No. What Washington
lawmakers are poised to decide is whether or not the locally made,
powdered-sugar-covered confection Aplets & Cotlets should be
declared the official candy for the state of Washington.

Food-loving people of the Pacific Northwest: We cannot let this
happen.

House Bill 1024 states that Aplets & Cotlets would be the
perfect state candy because “the tree fruit industry is a vital part of
the state’s economy” and “Aplets and Cotlets have been produced in
Washington for over seventy years and identify Washington State to
consumers worldwide.” The bill also recognizes that it’s time for
Washington to declare a state candy because the “legislature has
designated specific symbols in a number of categories as the official
representative for the state of Washington.”

I agree that it’s time to declare a state candyโ€”it’d be fun,
and it’d support the idea of a vibrant (and tasty) Northwest food
culture. We already have a state tree (western hemlock), bird (willow
goldfinch), fish (steelhead trout), even a state gem, dance, and fossil
(petrified wood, square dance, and Columbian mammoth, respectively).
But if Washington officially claims any candy at all, we cannot let it
be goddamn Aplets & Cotlets.

Just look at that pitiful list of official symbols. They all suck.
The fish is ugly, and there’s no way petrified wood should count as a
“gem.” And square dance? Seriously?

Are we going to add to that list a messy, globby pile covered in
powdered sugar that sticks to your teeth? Do we really want to brag to
the world about our love of unsophisticated fruit-flavored goo?

This isn’t the first time the legislature has been faced with this
issue: In 2001, a bill to make Tacoma-produced Almond Roca the state
candy was presented and denied. Thank Christ. Although tasty, Almond
Roca looks like something left in a cat box. That is not what we want
people to think of when they think of Washington State.

The introduction of this new bill has reignited the heated debate:
Almond Roca or Aplets & Cotlets? Cat poo or sugar goo? As if those
two sweets were our only choices.

Legislators of Washington are sadly overlooking far better options,
options that are a bit classier, more elegant, yet still fantastic
representatives of our culture and economy. Frango chocolates, for
instance, in their variety of flavors, have been a Northwest tradition
since 1918 (it says so right on the famous six-sided box). They were originally created by and for the department store
Frederick & Nelson, which went out of business in 1992. Then the Bon
Marche bought the recipe, continuing to manufacture and carry Frangos
through its evolution into Macy’s. Throughout many
decades of changes, tasty little Frango chocolates have
survivedโ€”that’s how awesome and beloved they are. Even though the
candy has gone national with Macy’s, the Northwest version is still
manufactured by local company Seattle Chocolates, and their roots lie
right here. Plus, they’re motherfucking delicious.

But maybe Frango chocolates have gotten away from us a little bit,
being no longer exclusive to the Northwest. What about Seattle-made
Fran’s Chocolates salted caramels? They’re pricey little treats (about
$6.50 for three), but they’re handmade in small batches and worth every
cent. With their pungent smoked or gray salt delicately sprinkled on
top, Fran’s are the best chocolate caramels I have ever eaten. They’re
gorgeous and delicious, sophisticated but indulgent. Their ingredients
personify what Washington is all aboutโ€”the smooth caramel and
chocolate represents the dairy farms in Eastern Washington, while the
salt nods to the smell of the air as it wafts in from Puget Sound. And
just like Washington State itself, the salted caramels are dualistic in
natureโ€”familiar and conservative on the inside with an
invigorating, progressive rind of spice on the edge.

Fran’s doesn’t have the same history as
Frango chocolates,
Almond Roca, or Aplets & Goddamn Cotlets, but founder Fran Bigelow
has been making candy professionally for 25 years and the company is
dedicated to using as many locally found ingredients as
possibleโ€”for example, Fran’s gets its cream from Fresh Breeze
Organic Dairy in Lynden and its peppermint from Yakima. (Also worth
noting: Both Barack and Michelle Obama have named Fran’s dark chocolate
with smoked salt caramels as their personal faves.)

Washington State is a state of innovatorsโ€”Bill Gates, Kurt
Cobain, Jimi Hendrix. It’s time for our candy to reflect just how far
Washington State has come. We’re no longer as boring as petrified wood.
Our candy shouldn’t be either. recommended

This article has been updated since its original publication.

Megan Seling is The Stranger's managing editor. She mostly writes about hockey, snacks, and music. And sometimes her dog, Johnny Waffles.

101 replies on “Neither Cat Poo nor Sugar Goo”

  1. My Aunt and Uncle were Cecil and Marie Hall. They had the best chocolates ever. I still dream of the toffee squares. Marie kept making them every year for Christmas into the 1980’s for the family.

    Dave Anderson

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