The “evil cheesecake” that magically appeared in the office eight days ago that Grant posted about wasn’t a cheesecake at all. It was a regular cake.
But we were out drinking for most of the last eight days, so folks only started eating the cake in earnest on Monday—when it was six days stale. But we still picked at it (well, I didn’t pick at it, other unnamed people who like old cake picked at it), cutting off stale slices because they were irresistible. So Grant was right: It was evil.
I tried to throw it in the garbage, but Savage protested, saying a garbage can couldn’t contain the cake’s devilry. He said, “That will not do. We have to throw it out the window.”
And?
No—it should be cast into an active volcano. Evil!
Did you think of sending cake to Larry Phillips as a peace offering?
you should’ve put it in the yard waste/compost bin. what kind of seattleite are you?
There was a too-subtly-placed $1 bill on the floor directly next to the table that the cake was on. Some people thought it was a trap, so there it remains.
@2 – And release more thetans into the world?!!!! Nooooo!
Just keep it off my side of the street. I got enough to clean up, what with the ciggie butts, broken beer bottles, dumped over teriyaki take-out and projectile vomit.
The only way you can destroy it is to cast it into Mount Doom in the land of Mordor.
One cake to rule them all?
Hmm, I wonder which sweet toothed reporter ravaged that cake…
Casada cake and canoles.
I ate them all NY weekend in Long Island.
@9
Sure, if it’s that old, then one cake to rule them all and in the darkness bind them.
and by that, I mean volcanic diarhea, of course.
@5: Sounds like a poo dollar to me. That’s a trap, all right. Stay away.
back in the late 80’s/early 90’s i was up in bellingham going to college @ WWU, and i had a friend who had been having a very bad week. i wanted to do something for her, but was a poor college student – but at the grocery store one day they had some incredible sale on mother’s day cakes (of course it was just after mother’s day had passed.) i bought the friend the horrid store bought cake, and took it to her on campus.
it was too fake to be eaten, so she ended up taking the fake flower out of it (can’t remember if she put the flower in her hair or used it for some other adornment) and then we went to this part of campus where one could look down to a rarely used paved cul-de-sac area that was only ever trod on by garbage trucks (or people in cars who were lost) – and we let the cake tumble through the air to the most satisfying ‘splat’ sound and view i’ve ever seen in my life.
it made her smile and laugh, and i’m sure some birds were o.d.’d on sugar that day.
In a related story: free cake* outside The Stranger’s office.
no one gives a shit