Do I want a “Two Meats” pizza with pepperoni and Italian sausage, or
am I more in the mood for… Transsexual Beef Cocks?
Decisions, decisions. I was in White Center to check out Proletariat
Pizza (9622 16th Ave SW, 432-9765), the newest addition to the
neighborhood’s ethnically schizoid food scene. While the neighborhood
is still rife with La Razaโdecaled lowriders and do-rag-wearing
Gs, it gets a bad rap (a store employee, when asked if he thought the
area was scary, snorted, “Fremont is scary”).
Proletariat (“By the people, for the people”), which opened in
mid-September, is sandwiched cozily between Dzul Tattoo & Airbrush
and Stan’s Adult Superstore on the main drag. Dzul is the place for cholo-style ink as well as bilingual genital piercings (ever
wonder how to say “inner labia” or “scrotum” en
espaรฑol?). Stan’s, meanwhile, has a bit of a warehousey
feel, but that’s okay, because never have I seen such an outstanding
assortment of inflatable farm animals or rubber extremities (feet, meet
“Fist of Fury”).
Appetite revved after previewing the DVD for Anal Buffet, I
popped next door for a cheese slice and salad. Proletariatโnamed
for its working-class surroundings rather than any Marxist
tendenciesโdoes possess a rather minimalist aesthetic. Aside from
some works by local artists on the walls, there’s only the
institutional-ish open kitchen (the space is a former bakery), a
cluster of wooden tables and bench seats, and a handwritten chalkboard
menu. Slices are of the cheese or pepperoni variety ($2โ$3); pies
adorned with the usual suspects, as well as more bourgeoisie toppings
like prosciutto and egg, will set you back $10 to $18. Beer ranges from
plebe-friendly $1.75 Olympia to imported $4 Peroni. My
saladโmixed greens, garbanzos, kalamata olives, Gorgonzola, and
balsamic vinaigrette ($4)โwas better than your standard iceberg
affair, but nothing spectacular. Alas, so was my pizza. The hand-mixed
crust was New Yorkโthin and pliable, nicely retaining its
crispness. The sauce, however, was acidic and bland, the mozzarella
flavorless and lacking any redemptive elasticity or gooeyness. Still,
the staff is sweet and competent, and Proletariat’s desire to be a
source of both sustenance and community is so genuine, it’s worth a
visit if you’re nearby.
White Center may not yet boast destination-worthy pizza, but for
cheap eats, it’s hard to beat. People love Salvadorean Bakery (1719 SW
Roxbury St, 762-4064), but I was underwhelmed by a queso y loroco
pupusa and the signature quesadilla (a cheese-enriched, muffinlike
thing). As for the two cabeza tacos I scored for a buck at La
Fondita #2’s tidy little roach coach (9811 15th Ave SW, 551-0529):
tasty, with exceptionally good corn tortillas. Vegetarians or those
seeking to amp up their arteriosclerosis should visit the adjacent
elote stand for roasted ears of corn slathered with mayo and
chili powder.
For revival from your lard coma, cross the street to the
Vietnamese-owned Hung Long (insert Stan’s joke here) Sieu Thi White
Center Supermarket (9828 15th Ave SW, 768-8074). For two dollars,
caffeinated orgasmic bliss can be yours with a glass of
made-to-
order cร phรช sหua
nรณng (potent drip coffee with condensed milk) from the
prepared-foods counter. Grab some deliciously squishy mung-bean sweets
or the leaf-wrapped sticky-rice pyramids filled with sweetened bean
paste and minced pork known as banh u.
For more substantial Asian eats, there’s 88 Restaurant (9418
Delridge Way SW, 768-9767) down the street. This adorable little
family-run Vietnamese joint has walls the color of mango, banana, and
navel orange, which somehow has the effect of a hearty dose of Prozac.
The enormous grilled pork rolls ($4.95) encased in rice paper are
refreshing (though the accompanying peanut sauce is gloppy and bland),
but the pho ($5.85โ$6.95) rocks. Mine was loaded with beefy bits
of brisket, flank, and tendon, the broth perfectly seasoned and
fragrant with star anise. Mr. 88 cooks, while the Mrs. and their two
teenagers run the front of the house. Judging by the enthusiastic
hellos from both Vietnamese and round-eye customers, locals love the
place as much as I did.
If nothing else floats your boat in White Center, Full Tilt Ice
Cream (9629 16th Ave SW, 767-4811) should. There’s a new Columbia City
location, but the original opened here in June 2008. Situated next to J
& W Tavern, the day drinker’s bar of choice, Full Tilt offers a
mashup of family fun. Live music from the likes of Mexican-ska-punk
local heroes Three Dead Whores, pinball, beer/ice-cream pairings, and
dairy-free scoops for grumpy vegan types make this place kick ass, but
it’s really all about the ice cream. Co-owner Justin Cline makes 16
different flavors of artisanal deliciousness, some made with fruit
grown in nearby backyards. Current seasonal faves are Memphis King
(peanut butter, banana, and chocolate-covered bacon), bourbon caramel,
horchata, and ube (purple yam), all $2.75 a scoop.
Come to think of it, Full Tilt is kind of like White Center in
microcosm: multiethnic, a little boozy, very indie, affordable
neighborhood wackiness. 
Note to Ms. Miller: Before you start throwing around words like “bourgeoisie” you might want to actually research their proper use and definition. Bourgeoisie refers to the middle-class so toppings that regularly appear on pizza, whether “the usual suspects” or “prosciutto and egg,” routinely devoured by members of the bourgeoisie would be bourgeoisie.
Yet another disappointing entry in the so-called food section.
I’m guessing you decided not to wander too far from the bus stop on your adventure to the seedy side of town. I won’t reveal the better spots for fear of an influx of tight jean wearing hipsters who think its cool to visit the hood for lunch. I do live here. I do know the best Halal spots, where not to go for teriyaki, the Mexican place that cooks their carne asada tacos to order and that the Locker Room or Brewski’s are the prefered bars for daytime boozers. Roasted corn? Really?
File this under lame tourism crap next time and don’t print it.
Shit, hipsters are about to fuck up White Center… sigh…
Note to “danidowntown”: Before you start writing knee-jerk “scathing” comments with nearly no relevance to the article, you might want to actually get a clue. If Ms. Miller took any license with the term “bourgeoisie”, it was as a play on the name “Proletariat Pizza”. Frankly though, prosciutto and egg is a hell of a lot more bourgeoisie than pepperoni.
@ 4 Note to White Centrist: It would appear that both you and Ms. Miller are in desperate need of a copy editor. Danindowntown is my name on the Stranger interwebs and therefore a proper noun so there is no need for your quotation marks.
If Ms. Miller intended to play on the Marxist terminology lamentably included in the supposed pizzeria’s name she would have been better served by not pointing out that the name has nothing to do with Marxism or Bolsheviks.
hipsters are good business. let us wear our tight pants, some of us grew up in the hood, you know? At lunch we like to remind ourselves of our trashy suburban youth by chowin’ down strip mall style. Wanna come eat on capitol hill for ten bucks? didn’t think so.
Argh! I can’t resist, though I wish I were a better person and could. “Bourgeoisie” is a noun, it refers to a group of people (really it’s French for “the Burghers,” or town residents, business and property owners, and the word’s a lot older than Marx btw). In the US today we typically use it as a synonym for the elite or the rich, with a sense that they are also predictable and banal. The adjective is “bourgeois,” as in “your pizza toppings are so bourgeois, and the SubZero wine cooler at your ski in/ski out chalet in Sun Valley is, too.” I’m done. That’s all. Continue snarking.
One last thing, but no more grammar or usage I promise: I’ve had the corn at that stand and it is delicious. Mine is butter and chile, no mayo.
As Noirony correctly points out, “bourgeois” as an adjective generally applies to things affiliated with the so-called “middle class”, e.g. residents, property owners and business people of a particular area.
Excluding, by definition, both landless lower classes and the upper classes of church, state, etc.
Which means that the adjective, depending on who’s using it, can be read as perjorative of those “pedestrian lower classes”, if you’re a noble, or perjorative of those “fancy town folks” if you’re a simple farmer.
So STOP FUCKING CALLING PEOPLE OUT ON USING IT “WRONG” ALREADY! For fuck’s sake.
All these negative comments are so uncalled for!! I’m so tired of people beating up reporters. Have them try reporting. I loved this story. Very funny. Really great job reporting and writing. You are awesome!
Proletariat pizza is definately worth the trip to White Center. I don’t agree that the mozzerella is flawed. Who cares if they offer egg and proscuitto? Not I. The pizza is miles ahead of the other offerings in the area. Except for Giannoni’s in Westwood Village. Same some room for Full Tilt icecream across the street!
You know you are a douchebag when given the chance to comment on someone’s work, all you can come up with trivial, pointless criticism.
From a non-resident, frequent visitor to WC – good article.
I think Ms. Miller can take some comfort in knowing that most of the people who read this article enjoyed it as it is entertaining and informative. It is a fact that most people who comment on on line comment boards are motivated by something other than the simple joy of reading an entertaining and informative article. My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anthing nice to say, STFU.”
I hope Ms. Miller stops in for another pie at Proletariat. Take a seat and let the friendly staff bring you a glass of wine and a fresh out of the oven Favorite or maybe a Veggie. The Cinco is to die for for real cheese lovers! So many great choices and flavors it’s hardly fair to rate the place on one slice of cheese. Love the new lunch hours too.
Funny article, and if they are his true feelings… Let him be. One thing that I absolutely agreed with, was the description of the sauce. We felt the cheese was fine, crust was great, (although a smidge oily…) but the sauce was bland-ish. Not spice wise, but it didn’t have much of a tomato flavor to it. Overall though… We really enjoyed it:)