The U.S. military is tightening the ol’ belt in Afganistan, closing down its fast food outlets. The soldiers have enjoyed the taste of corporate-chain home, but military command has come to the determination that, um, this is war. From Reuters:
Fast food joints where soldiers wolf down burgers and pizza will soon be a thing of the past at bases in Afghanistan, as the U.S. military reminds soldiers they are at war and not in “an amusement park.”
In the sprawling military base at Kandahar, the fast food outlets facing the axe include Burger King, Pizza Hut, and the U.S. chain restaurant T.G.I. Friday’s that features a bar with alcohol-free margaritas and other drinks—all set along the bustling “Boardwalk” area of the base.
On any given day, the giant square-shaped walkway features the surreal sight of soldiers sipping gourmet coffee and eating chocolate pastries with guns slung across their shoulders, while Canadians play ice hockey at a nearby rink and fighter jets thunder overhead.
The U.S. military says its beef with the burger joints is that they take up valuable resources like water, power, flight and convoy space and that cutting back on non-essentials is key to running an efficient military operation…
The Canadian doughnut chain Tim Horton’s will remain, and the dining halls always have “fried calamari rings, fish fingers and burgers… free for soldiers and available in abundance.”
Somehow, I can’t get this new image wiped from my mind:
Mash up yesterday’s footage of the 2007 Reuters photographer and assistant who were shot down to high-fives; the line in Avatar where the antagonist says, “Let’s make this nice and tidy . . . I wanna be home for dinner”; and TGI Fridays in Kandahar (as well as seafood and burgers), and I get this image of those gunners whooping up their “good day’s work” with tough slaps on the back and sidehugs™ as they all piled into the mess hall/chain restaurant.
Sure does make the good people who serve in the military look poorly as their smarmy cohorts act like it’s PlayStation 3D.
This is soi fucking ridiculous I don’t even know what to say.
Virgin Mugaritas are an insult to the fine men and women of our armed forces.
Sounds like some American soldiers could benefit from emigrating to Canada and serving there. No sense bringing the flatlining US budget down even more if they risk their lives and can’t even have flame-broiled burgers.
probably a cost-saving move. the contract for these franchises had to be astronomical. the military used to be able to feed itself and can do so again. if you’re going to use 50% of my taxes for the military, i’d prefer you did it efficiently.
I’m a little surprised there was all this fast food available on base and I’m not arguing it’s a good thing. Still, I’m not opposed to soldiers having some little luxuries and reminders of home. Unhealthy food and expensive, resource-hogging shops are probably not the way to do it, but there’s probably room for something to remain.
You know that noise you get in cartoons when a toon is flummoxed? I’m making that now.
World War I this ain’t…no trench warfare for these guys. Eatin’ dirt and shittin’ freedom belongs to the past.
Yeah, my friend in the army told me that they had contracts with the same few fast food restaurants on every base (BK, Pizza Hut, etc.) It would basically be like a mall, except everyone there would be in uniform.
“they take up valuable resources like water, power, flight and convoy space”
The US Military has figured this out.
Meanwhile, most American people think that water comes out of the faucet … you know, like magic.
Hey, I want an abundance of fried calamari rings! Sign me up.
Oh, the horrors of war…
No Burger King.
I weep.
That’s because the Canadian troops – who have been in Afghanistan about three times longer than US troops have – know that Donuts are critical.
Tim Hortons ftw!
@4: Canada doesn’t want them, thanks. America can keep ’em.
@6,
Have you ever seen Black Hawk Down? They have just about every comfort of home you can imagine.
This shit reminds me of The Things They Carried where troops in Vietnam carried upwards of 100 pounds of equipment, food, and trinkets from home on their backs. Meanwhile, the Vietnamese soldier they killed was carrying a bag of rice and a rifle. Hard to guess why we got our asses handed to us.
There was that story Tony Herbert told about the pizza choppers in Vietnam—they’d deliver anywhere, anytime. He had some wounded after a firefight, and couldn’t get a medevac to come in and pick them up, so he ordered pizza. When the pizza chopper showed up, he took the pizzas off and put the wounded on. He got reamed by command for his trouble.
Why not keep up the troops morale? I mean, let them have some enjoyment in an otherwise shitty day of heat, filth, and fighting Taliban. What’s it hurt?
@3, it’s an outrage. A margarita with no alcohol is a terrible thing to behold. I know a couple of those would make me want to kill some unarmed civilians. Our troops deserve better.
They still get to keep their 2,800 calorie, 200 grams of fat bloomin’ onions, right?
@14 – true. I remember being shocked when I found out American Army Captains made less than I did as a Canadian Army Corporal.
Canada only takes some refugees. There’s a limit.
Is no-alcohol-on-base a typical Army regulation, or are they being sensitive to current Afghan culture?
It’s a concession to their culture, Doug. Believe me, there’s plenty of booze on other bases.
Half-correct at best, 5280. Alcohol is prohibited in ALL conflict areas under General Order 1. While it is certainly prevalent in non-hazard duty stations (and almost certainly illegally in combat zones), it is in no way specific to Afghanistan.
<—currently in Baghdad.
I stand corrected. Of course, all our “conflict areas” are in Muslim countries, so it’s easy to see why I didn’t make that distinction.
As a former Army officer and contractor in Iraq, I say it’s about goddamn time.
There was no effing BK at Normandy, no KFC at Bastogne. The lobster tails and ice cream in the chow hall are plenty sufficient, thanks.
@23: General Order 1 indeed prohibits alcohol in all of SW Asia….but we all know how well prohibition works.
At the moment, yes, but as I understand it the rule is only partially due to not offending the host nation and mostly due to the contribution being dry has toward good law and order (also, drunk people with guns aren’t really all that fun).
@22 – not true. Canadian field engineers are legally entitled to rum rations, no matter what the local custom is.
Uh, Canadian field engineers aren’t in the US military and as such are not subject to General Order #1. However, anyone who is in the US military (or is paid by it, to include a LOT of contractors) IS bound by it. And since this article and discussion are about US forces I don’t think it’s crazy to assume people would know that I wasn’t discussing Canadian field engineers.
Sabotage, Will is the village idiot around here. Don’t take anything he says seriously (nobody else does).
On a more topical note, I’d love to see how much of AAFES’ funding actually comes from taxes and how much comes from how outrageously they gouge us. (For the non-military-initiated, AAFES is the company that runs all these commercial franchises and basically has a monopoly on base-bound soldiers.)
Also, malamute, there were no grossly overpaid (and in my experience, frequently underqualified) civilian contractors at Normandy and Bastogne either. Frankly, if it’s a choice between a hamburger and most of the diva ex-military contractors I’ve encountered, I’ll take the burger.