As detailed in this past week’s Bar Exam, much-loved Capitol Hill bar the Bus Stop is at last open in its new location on Olive. It looks weirdly similar to the old Bus Stop (which was on the block of Pine Street that was razed for condos but is now a parking lot) on the inside. Outside, pretty much kitty-corner, is that goddamn sign on Amante Pizza.
If you’re sitting near the windows of the new Bus Stop, your retinas will be seared with pixilated billion-candlepower graphics behind rotating messages about Amante’s lunch specials, pizza by the slice (which Christopher Frizzelle says is really good), and the fact that they’re hiring delivery drivers. There is not enough alcohol in the world to make it tolerable; I found myself cowering in the shadow of my friend’s insufficiently large head. (She said my face looked “lit up like a tin Christmas tree.”) Maybe the Bus Stop will bring back its red velvet curtains; meanwhile, sit away from the windows or poke your eyes out.
The sign’s been there since sometime last spring. From the Bar Exam in question: “This hate crime of signage is so bright it ought to be illegal.” Hyperbole, yes—a sign is not a hate crime—but it appears according to Seattle Municipal Land Use Code that a sign this obnoxious might actually be against the law.
From the introduction of <a href=”http://clerk.ci.seattle.wa.us/~scripts/nph-brs.exe?d=CODE&s1=23.55.001.snum.&Sect5=CODE1&Sect6=HITOFF&l=20&p=1&u=/~public/code1.htm&r=1&f=G
“>SMC chapter 23, section 55, “Signs”:
The intent of the standards in this chapter is:
A. To encourage the design of signs that attract and invite rather than demand the public’s attention, and to curb the proliferation of signs;
B. To encourage the use of signs that enhance the visual environment of the city;
C. To promote the enhancement of business and residential properties and neighborhoods by fostering the erection of signs complementary to the buildings and uses to which they relate and which are harmonious with their surroundings;
D. To protect the public interest and safety….
And from SMC 23.55.003:
The following signs shall be prohibited in all zones:
1. Flashing signs
This sign flashes. Never has a sign been more flashing. An argument could also be made that the sign does indeed “interfere with… [an] official traffic sign, signal or device,” as prohibited later in the section, since it does in fact render drivers of cars cresting Denny Way temporarily blind, dazzled by the center-of-the-sun-level awfulness.
The Department of Planning and Development has received one formal complaint about the sign. Bob Hoyos, Senior Sign/Electrical Inspector, says:
…by all practical observances it does not enhance the visual environment. But technically the sign as it stands does meet the criteria of a changeable message sign. As for the hazard to vehicle traffic approaching the sign I did contact the contractor about the requirement for light emitting restrictions as well as the dimming elements for night time operation. There is also restrictions about flashing, scrolling and the time in which one message changes to the next. I will look into the lighting issue again. I will bring up to my up line supervisor the argument relating to demanding rather than attracting attention. I can see a battle there with the sign manufacturers since this is state of the art on the present market and these signs have been showing up around the City. I will open this complaint again.
If you have feelings about that goddamn sign on Amante Pizza—and the proliferation of other such goddamn signs across our fair city, and whether they really ought to be illegal—you can call Dianne Kelso at (206) 684-5839 or email her here.
Photo of the sign by Anthony Hecht. It gives only an inkling of the goddamnedness, which increases exponentially as the sky darkens.
Amante serves food past last call. In this city, that’s a godsend. They can have an air raid siren going off, for all I care. Tell Bus Stop to get some curtains.
Agreed. It’s up there in obnoxiousness with that video sign on the west side of I-5 (just north of Fife, or whatever the fuck that town is).
Lose it, Amante (though I also agree that late-night food is a much-needed commodity in Seattle. Keep that).
Also, has anyone checked how these video signs respond to rocks?
The window seats at the Bus Stop are fantastic as you can get a bunch of your friends around those tables, and what we wonder is why isn’t that pizza place closed, we never see anyone in there, but yes that sign with it’s crazy WELCOME TO CAPITAL HILL flashing is horrible!
Maybe we could convince NARN that they sell foie gras pizza.
Amante–stay. Sign–go. Or else retina–FAIL.
I hate that damn sign. It’s so tacky.
I’ve only been in Amante once. I felt bad for the tattooed, pierced up manager who worked there who seemed to want to make it feel like “just another neighborhood joint.” But the look and feel inside said “hello I am two parts cheesecakefactory and one part bw3.” Mediocre pizza and an ENTIRE avocado pit in my salad sealed the deal. They get no more love from me.
After we end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and fix the economy and do something about all these women with hairy pits and calves, then I’ll listen to your precious complaints about what restaurants do.
Slingshot would take care of that.
The sign was there first. But not to worry, that location seems to have some sort of curse, i doubt Amante will be there much longer
@7,
That’s what it always looked like to me, and I’ve never been inside. That ghastly sign sealed the deal.
@10,
No way. The sign went up after Amante took over the space.
Bethany, you seem to get really irritated easily. Are you sure that a city is the right environment for you? First a group of protesters, and now a sign. Perhaps a quiet exurb would suit you better.
Yeah, I remember when that thing went up. I have hated it ever since. It’s just so out of place and obnoxious. I really considered shooting it with a pellet gun when it first came up, but I think it would take forever to do any real damage to it. It should be taken down.
I have made a decree that I won’t EVER patronize Amante. I was close one night, after last call, walking up from Re-Bar, and seeing it flashing in its come hither glare.
But, the glare blinded me, and I refused to look for the entrance. I have also forbade my boyfriend from eating there. It would be akin to cheating if he ever did. I also have tried to persuade my friends to not eat there as well.
That sign brings out the worst in me. Which is funny because in other situations it wouldn’t bother me (Burning Man and Las Vegas, I’m looking at you).
Fucking sign.
i live kitty corner in the other diection from amante, on denny & summit. i’ve gotten food poisoning there twice so far, and am pretty sure they’re running some kind of shady business out of the summit side of the building. that sign makes me want to vomit, and i am more greatful every day that i come home and remember that my apartment faces STARBUCKS instead of that shit.
There is it’s bastard cousin of a sign across from REI as you get off on Stewart.
Flashing fireworks and rolling dice advertising absolutely nothing but a crash distraction and migranes.
lets burn these witches down.
the same obnoxiousness is on display at the for-lease, copper-clad former garage at the stewart street exit off i-5. it blinks & spins AND THERE IS NO BUSINESS THERE.
oh, and i guarantee that amante is owned by a greek or a persian. they just don’t get why that sign is a problem.
yes, that sign IS an abomination in the eyes of the Lord…so is the ridiculously oversized Subway sign on 15th…other cities have strict laws on signage; why not Seattle?
oh, yeah…it’s run by developers and laws on signage would be anti-business…silly me!
What a fucking hater. Jesus christ.
whiny passive agressive-ism will be the death of seattle.
fucking deal.
Their food is amazing.
You know, this time of year, it gets awful dark.
And that sign is a godsend.
I used to work for Daktronics, the company that made that sign.
There is a dimmer function on the computer that runs the sign, specifically so that you can dim it at night so as to not blind anyone.
This problem is entirely due to the people running the sign being douchebags.
I’ll get right on this. Right after I’m done picketing Lark.
Re: rocks, slingshots, pellet guns, etc.
Probably wouldn’t do a lot. It’s LED-based technology, not CRT. At most, you would might end up knocking out a few pixels. Depending on what type it is, there may be a plastic louver face that would keep even that much damage from occuring.
They’re modular, so even if you shot the damn thing with a gun, odds are good that you’d only end up destroying a 16×16-pixel display mod, unless you managed to hit an MLC board or short something out and trip the breaker.
water balloons filled with acrylic paint. Would that work?
That would work.
grow up, you pussy. It’s a fucking sign!!! Or perhaps we could create a device to get the sand out of your vagina?
Thanks for her email address. Complaint = registered.
Although I do like calling this part of the Hill “Little Reno.”
Just take a rock and smash the goddamn thing.
It sounds like the sign is doing it’s job, not only do you notice the business but here you are talking about it. You’re actually publicizing the establishment here.
The right for a business owner to be able to advertise on their own building should be a freedom of speech, and the fact that this business owner is fighting the recession by investing in advertising is heartening.
Just because you don’t like the look of something doesn’t mean it should be illegal.
@6: It’s no more tacky then the horrendous monstrosity on the 3rd Avenue side of Benaroya Hall.
@31:
Please send us your address so I can come over and shine a 2 mm candle-power marine searchlight with the name of my business taped on it through your window.
Surely you wouldn’t object to that, now would you?
That sign is lame and the food sucks. Growing up in RI spoiled me when it comes to cheap awesome Italian food. This place does not even come close.
I miss Bar, where you could sing as much karaoke as you wanted because no one was ever there, and the host was always completely shit faced, and they had a box full of costumes & props.
don’t you faggy seattle douchebags always wear your sunglasses at night (because your future’s so…)?
@34,
Go back to Rhode Island if you hate it here so bad, you fucking Chowda Head!
stop whining you pussy. either walk up to them and say something in person, or shut the fuck up.
I just sent the following to Donna Kelson:
Ms. Kelso:
I hope you’ll pardon my contributing to the flood of email you’re no doubt receiving as a result of your email address being posted online by The Stranger.
However, I couldn’t ignore the opportunity to raise my voice in complaint against the sign at Amante Pizza on Capitol Hill. Like every business in my neighborhood, I wish them well and want to support them, but that sign is simply too much. It is more befitting of an edge-of-town strip joint than a neighborhood restaurant.
It is with all due respect that I encourage you to do whatever is in your power to help Amante find a more inviting and less garish face to present to their neighbors.
Thank you,
– Eric
I HATE THAT SIGN!! I live in Faneuil Hall Apartments, the side that faces Amante. That sign glares into my windows. It’s ugly, it’s tacky, and ruins the view. It flashes all night long. The time it keeps is wrong. It’s always between 2 and 5 minutes off. I want to destroy that sign. I want to string a zipline between it and my apartment window and send the biggest bowling ball in the world down that line straight into the sign, destroying it forever. Maybe the P-I globe is available for this purpose. Amante isn’t even good pizza. It’s gross. That place can serve even gross cheese sticks. How doi you screw up a frozen-then-fried cheese stick? Amante knows how. They are the most disgusting place in the whole city. Even so, I used to get an occasional slice from them when I’d drank enough to make anything palatable. Not anymore. i refuse to patronize that place ever since it erected its neighborhood-destroying stupid sign. God I hate Amante.
I have to agree with 16 and 17 (above) that the sign at the I-5 exit to Stewart and Denny is FAR more offensive than the Amante sign. The fireworks and sunbursts on that one are truly blinding to drivers. Amante’s takes a distant third to that sign and the one down in Fife.
But back to the Amante sign: May I change the subject ever-so slightly? My favorite part of that sign is the part where it flashes “Welcome to Capitol Hill,” followed immediately by “Free Wi-Fi.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Capitol Hill actually did have free wi-fi throughout the entire neighborhood? Think of how many seats it would free up at all of the coffee shops! I can dream….
Every time I think I might go in there to check out the menu orjust get a slice, the sight of that sign makes me turn and find somewhere else to eat.
A buddy of mine sent this my way. I used to live right around the corner and hated that sign with a passion. Although Amante’s food is decent (not great, but decent, and as others have stated they are open late which is a godsend in the neighborhood), that sign has got to go.
But, on the other hand, no one is complaining about The Saint down the street, in that dayglo baby blue that you can see from space. Neither the sign nor The Saint does anything for the neighborhood, but neither do the bums drinking high gravity malt liquor from City Market and tossing their empties into the street.
I keep my blinds open and use it as a nightlight at night. The colors changing across my ceiling is actually quite soothing.