Today, I went to a grocery store in order to make some shopping. But the sections of this store made so obvious the cultural gap between France and the US that I had to post about this. First, I saw de la confiture. I was very happy to see that you have fine products in your grocery stores.

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This is typically what you eat where youโ€™re on holidays in the countryside. You get up, awake au chant du coq and you walk or ride your bicyclette to the nearest village. There, you buy some fresh bread, ideally a baguette and not some sort of limp and floppy pre-frozen bread like this.

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French, Frenchโ€”et mon cul, c’est du poulet? You also take some fresh butter made up by a farmer and not some weird butter-flavoured spray. Then, you go back home with your local newspaper folded under your arm.

There, you cut your bread into thick slices. You love these moments of calm when the rising sun caresses your skin while the birds are singing. Then, in a delicate gesture, you take a knife to spread butter on the bread and add some confiture with a spoon. And you eat it all, enjoying the orgasm growing inside of you.

A few moments later, your kids join you. Actually, they prefer Nutella because itโ€™s sweeter. Once in a while, yeah, you let them spread Nutella on their bread. Itโ€™s a bit fat, but theyโ€™re French too, so they wonโ€™t abuse it. I mean, theyโ€™re not like those American people who make excesses all the time, are they?

Those American peopleโ€ฆ Their food is just disgu… Hey! No judgment allowed on foreign cultures. No opinion, Julien. Give the facts. Only the facts. Thatโ€™s what your internship is about: learning from American journalists so as to report the facts and not your own opinion. If American people really want to eat a soup made of powdered cheese and potatoes, thatโ€™s their very right. Sure, it makes you nauseous, thatโ€™s a fact, but youโ€™re fine as long as they donโ€™t force you to eat it.

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And yes, their oil spray and their liquid eggs can look like a heresy to all the supporters of good food and natural stuff, but deal with it. In fact, how can you resist the delightful sight of these macaronis trickling with cheese?

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Well, you have thrown up. Big deal. Never mind. You should make a meal of your own. Let’s move to the fresh products section. Donโ€™t these fresh vegetables look tasty? And have a look at the moisturizing system. You donโ€™t have this in France, donโ€™t you? You just let them dry all day long. You see: American people can make good things too.

And Iโ€™m sure youโ€™ll take some pancakes. Your French crรชpes are not that much enjoyable, arenโ€™t they? I can see youโ€™re looking with envy at those pineapple packs. They seem convenient, right? You donโ€™t have this in Paris, for sure. Really? You have to carry the whole pineapple if you want to eat some? Modern stuff can really help sometimes.

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Letโ€™s leave now. Do you want a copy of this magazine with Justin Bieber on the cover?

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Oh no, please, donโ€™t throw up again.

144 replies on “The American Way of Food”

  8. Tonight I will go to the Slog Happy where Americans will be making with the snark and the drinkings. Then to the Wet Spot for to make the report of tomorrow.

  10. What is this bullshit? I went to another country and it was different. I presume that the things I’m used to are better than what I found on the shelf at QFC. Retarded.

  14. Wow, some defensive Americans on here this AM.

    I feel deep pity for any French person stuck here with our generally shitty food.

    France has an amazing food culture going back centuries, our supermarkets are basically stocked with dogshit.

  18. Don’t get me wrong. I love the French, but they can be…a little French.

    I concede that the food there is better, but having to spend my time surrounded by these douche bags would ruin my appetite.

  19. That might have been true a few years ago, but now France’s obesity levels are about where ours were about 15-20 years ago – 14.5% obesity overall, and 22% for the French poor. Just like Mexico, where obesity was almost nonexistent 20 years ago, but now they just surpassed th USA as the most obese country in the world.

    Give France 10-20 years and they will surpass the USA as well. They are adopting an American diet, just with more incredibly unhealthy foie gras, veal, and butterfat.

  20. Give him a break. A lot of American food is terrifying. We just happen to be used to it.

    And yes, he needs to experience a deep-fried Snickers bar as soon a possible.

  21. My french roommate eats Danette chocolate pudding snacks… (Danette is French! And therefor Superior!) which are pretty much like jello chocolate pudding snacks EVERY DAY after lunch. And chips, lots of chips.

  22. The Bread situation, sans doute. Le fromage, aussi.
    Love the sausages from the region near Luxembourg/Belgium. But in general the culture in France is nothing special. I sat through Le Petit Nicholas two weeks ago, the smash hit film in France. It was about a grade Z sitcom, worse than a bad ‘Friends’ episode. And the supermarkets (Hypermarchรฉ) there are full of stupid Teeny-girl mags, etc.

  23. Yes France does have wonderful French food. What they don’t have a lot of is wonderful Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Indian, Indonesian, Korean, Mexican, Ethiopian, Russian….food. They are just barely getting sushi in Paris and the place that was recommended to me was pretty bad. We have a lot of shit food in the suburban grocery store, and a lot of great ethnic restaurants in the city.

  24. Don’t listen to them, Julien, that was hilarious. Americans can be a little touchy, but then, so would you if you still had Velveeta cheese in your stomach from 1972. Keep up the good work (pretend I said that in French…)

  27. @7 That says, according to Google,

    “Cheese liquid squeeze bottle. Its composition and its manufacturing process can get a liquid, innovating for a cheese. The 150g bottle spout promotes new uses of cheese: decor, support, trim, mix … SQUIZZI positioned itself as a new culinary aid available to the housewife. In addition to its very low fat content, SQUIZZI developed a very rich aromatic bouquet, appreciated by connoisseurs”

    I never knew the French had Cheez-wiz.

    @11 YES. Savage, Frizzelle… you guys HAVE to take him to report on the Puyallop Fair on a Saturday. I want to see what he has to say about the epic brick pits of endless BBQ.

  29. Yep, there’s shit in American grocery stores alright. Here’s the trick, though: You don’t have to buy it, and there’s plenty of other stuff there too.

  30. 9 – ftw.
    These are worn cliches not worthy of a post. If you want a really disgusting experience, go to the midwest. There you can get deep fried cheese curd, a Culvers “Butter Burger”, and oh, the portions are four times what are served here.

    I’d like to ask the French Intern, if you’re real, to not counsel Americans to eat more bread. We don’t need it anymore. We don’t need anymore butter or Nutella “orgasms” (we have Nutella too, guy) unless it involves putting the topping on my crotch and having some guy or gal lick it off. We’re too damned fat. Also, please don’t tell us to put fried eggs on our hamburgers. We’ll just get more fat.
    Seems like the area has plenty of natural food/farmers/markets etc. I only shop at these places because I don’t mind dropping an extra dollar for a little health benefit but I don’t begrudge the shoppers of at the corporate grocery places because I’ve been poor before. The system is rigged to encourage us to eat pudding packs, frozen veggies, and microwave Mac N Cheese.

  31. Julien: great post! The rest of you -WTF??? I thought it was brilliant. Made me laugh. You all should have some coffee or maybe a few cocktails before posting.

  33. French hypermarches are chock full of this same kind of stuff — boxed mac’n’cheese, spray cheese in a can (thanks for the link, Simac @7), garbage sugar cereals, and so on. That’s what real French people eat most of the time these days.

    It’s funny, too: last night I watched Bourdain revisiting Paris, and guess what? All the hot new ideas in cooking are coming from New York, from America. France is lovely, but it’s a museum culture.

  34. Since naming a cafe in the U.S. something like Bonjour Croissant has some snob appeal I wonder if there are cafes in France called Good Morning Toast?

  35. Il est difficile de voir pourquoi les Americains pense que les Francais sont impolis, egoistes et snobs… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Quand j’habitais en France il y avait des differences culturelles qui m’ont etonne. Dans les supermarches francaises le lait n’est pas dans le frigidaire mais sur les rayons. Les oeufs aussi. L’horreur ! Mais je me suis rendu compte tres vite qu’il fallait essayer d’adapter plutot que de me moquer de un autre pays pour aucune raison sauf qu’il est different de mon pays. Pourquoi vivre dans un autre pays sinon pour avoir une autre perspective ?

    D’ailleurs il est chiant de se plaindre de tout, tout le temps.

  36. But overall he’s right. A lot of the stuff we eat here of the pre-packaged variety is very wrong. Julien, keep critiquing us. It will drive everyone bonkers. This reminds me that I want to visit places like Strasbourg, Alsace, and Brittany.

  37. A friend of mine works with a Frenchwoman and has to hear this crap all day long. In order to preserve her sanity, my friend keeps a list of everything that is “better in France.” I’ll just save Julien the trouble of future slog posts and provide the list so far:

    danon yogurt
    mint chocolate chip ice cream
    the way you dial phone numbers
    cat food
    security
    lettuce
    beads
    tuberculosis testing/treatment
    manners
    mangoes
    houses
    tuna
    clothes washers

    There you go. France wins.

  40. Curious about this: “et mon cul, c’est du poulet?”

    My high school French reads it as “And my ass, it is of chicken?”

    I’m assuming my high school French has failed me again.

    Fun fact: my expatriate Quebecois grandmรจre (turning 98 this month) was kicked out of her French Catholic junior high in northeastern Massachusetts for speaking improper “kitchen French”.

  42. 37 – I actually do think France wins in many ways. I’m sure they have their problems, but the tea partier types aren’t the ones getting all the attention right now. When SS age is raised to 70, I wonder if we’ll hear a peep from the American public.

  43. @34, you need to read Stephen Clarke’s series of books starting with “A Year In The Merde”, wherein he tells the story of a creation of English tea rooms in France called “My Tea is Rich”, an obscure play on “My tailor is rich”, a famously bad phrasebook translation.

  44. We’re a little crazy about our food over here in the States. Yes you can get canned, pressurized, food-like products that NO ONE should eat. But at the other end of the spectrum, we take “fancy” to a ridiculous extreme. It’s not enough that products like meat be high quality, some of us insist that the animal also had a fun, fulfilling life before we kill it and cut it up for dinner.

  45. Julian, why don’t you give our farmer’s markets or PCC a try? You are in Seattle, you can find pretty much anything you go looking for here.

    I hope you will try to experience the breadth of what we have to offer and provide your unique take on it, stepping outside of what is easy to create something artful, original or at least interesting.

    I get that this was supposed to be funny, but its the equivalent of going to Paris and writing a story on body odor. I also don’t think racial or relationship stereotype humor is funny. This isn’t the 80s and I’m not on coke. A little more creativity please.

  50. Wow…when I first saw this post, an hour ago, there were no comments, and then an hour later, forty-nine. Impressive.

    On the one hand, I’m thinking “fuck this guy, talking shit about America, the greatest thing ever,” (I learned to speak French just so I can read his posts), on the other hand, I adore the pleasant jabbing of American culture from a perspective of French culture, and on the third hand…how very French of French Intern.

    And a bit Mudede-esque.

  52. C’etait une rire et moitie. Funnier than Jacques Tati or L.F. Celine. I would love for you to share your views on the U.S. election cycles and candidate marketing processes next.

  54. I knew the French Intern thing was a sock puppet for one of the Stranger writers to troll with.

    I consider that suspicion confirmed by this supposed Frenchman using the word nauseous when he mean t to say nauseated.

    Only a shitty American writer with a JC education would make that mistake.

    Nice try l’etranger. Back to the drawing board.

  57. i love this shit! funny post! but you will learn stereotyping goes many ways and its a bit more complicated than the obvious. most of us here know about the shitty food etc, and how perfect the french are (ah hem) but what about where shit overlaps or goes in the opposite of what you expect? anyway i look forward to more of your funny notes.

  58. Learn where to shop. Seattle actually has some of the best bread in the world, widely available. There is plenty mediocre food in France. That one can buy canned green beans there, that are no better than any American brand, says it all.

  60. Actually, come to think of it, I think French Intern should to a round of eating at local French joints, and judge them on how awesome or not awesome they are…

  61. Ah, give the guy a break. He’s French! I’m sure he’s under a lot of pressure to live up to cultural stereotypes and engage in a lot of pompous shit-talking about the U.S. Julien, you might check out a farmer’s market sometime. That whole thing you wrote about the fresh bread, fresh butter, and walking home with a newspaper under your arm? We can do that here too (except the part about the sun caressing your skin, since we’re in Seattle).

    And if I can bring the snark for a minute: If you’re here to learn from American journalists to report the facts and not your own opinion, why are you interning for the Stranger?

  62. Adored it. Want to hang out with him for days and days. Could be that I’m a foreigner too and was kind of startled by some of the finds in American grocery stores. Could be that French makes me hot (talk about a cliche).

    That being said, yes of course there are many lovely farmer’s markets and little bakeries and etc, etc. The post was not a blanket dismissal, he did not claim that there is no good food in your entire city. I laughed out loud at a few of the responses here – there’s a reason for the stereotype of Americans taking themselves too seriously!

  64. Ya the French have great food and some American food is really bad but back away from the Justin Bieber he is 100% Canadian BAD!
    Mmmm! Poutine!

  66. Okay – I thought this was hilarious, but it immediately made me think that this French kid doesn’t actually exist, which hadn’t crossed my mind initially (although it should have).

    @17 for the win

    @41 It’s not Chelsea. Unless you were trying to be funny. In which case – fail.

  69. Julien:

    You ought to read “In Defense of Food” and “Food Rules” by Michael Pollan. He draws a distinction between “food” and “edible foodlike substances.” I’m sure France has some edible foodlike substances of its own, but the U.S. has raised it to a fine art.

    However, I must say that Velveeta Shells and Cheese is one of my favorite comfort foods. To keep myself from eating it all the time, I restrict myself to buying one box once a month.

  71. Some of my best memories of eating great food come from working at Pike Street Market selling produce at “Sosio’s”. Chefs would come in early and buy a box of Haricot Vert and invite me to lunch to try the dish they were making with the beans that day. I would always take home Chanterelle mushrooms and sautรฉ them for dinner. The amount of fantastic food I was exposed to while working there was fantastic. I really miss that hard work and the experience of learning about food and being able to share with people from all over the world that I got to interact with while selling produce.
    You don’t have to go far to experience good food. Seattle has great food.

  72. @71, not when they have all of those same gross mass-produced garbage foods themselves, and more. Did you not look at @7’s link? We got nothing on the French for junk food.

  76. Your tongue-in-cheek post was funny, Julien. However, if you were a real Frenchman you would know that real French families use convenience foods on a daily basis. Knorr soup mix–ubiquitous. That Bear Creek stuff looks tastier to me. The mom in one family I nannied for fed her kids instant mashed potatoes for lunch every day. They buy packages of toast! And then they smear butter and jam on the cold, dry, prefab toast! They use instant coffee all the time, often made with hot water from the tap. The other mom I lived with used to mix raw frozen vegetables and mayonnaise and put them in frozen pastry cups for a “fancy” appetizer. And on and on. And this was the early eighties. I assume processed stuff is even more common now. Yes, they used to have better bread, but now even American supermarkets have artisan loaves that are at least decent. Tomatoes. That is the only thing that is consistently better in French stores than American, but even then it’s not that hard to get decent produce these days. So, yeah, you must be a sock puppet. C’est dommage, Julien. Tu es si mignon.

  77. Don’t dis mac-n-cheese. The Velveeta stuff isn’t the best, but as a concept “cheese dripping off macaroni” is close to oral sex in it’s brilliance.

  78. Eh, come on. None of you love to visit chain/big brand supermarkets in foreign countries? I love doing it and looking at what we all have in common when it comes to crap we put in our bodies. Italian supermarkets typically have fantastic cheese and deli counters, but they’re also packed with mass-produced cookies, sugary cereals, and candy. I think it’s a great way to bond with a new place — shop where *most people actually shop.* I love knowing what kind of junk food a country likes to eat, because it feels less self-conscious.

    Doesn’t mean I don’t also love the tiny mom-and-pop operations as well as the lovely homey bakeries and open-air markets, blah, blah.

    @18: I was pretty sure the deepfried Mars Bar was a Scottish invention.

  79. Three things:

    He’s really an intern if his post is three times longer than the average lazy Stranger staff member.

    Need to get Julien to comment about his take on Vegan food.

    Toss him over to I, Anonymous to get his feet wet.

  81. I like the part where he described morning time in France. Lovely.

    And I agree with what he says about American food in general, but, come on! This is Seattle, not Tampa (no offense, Floridians, but your grocery stores are abysmal). We have the best groceries, butchers, cheesemongers, farmers markets, cafes, etc., in the country. We are want for nothing fresh and delicious here. So his berating of our foodstuffs would work better in New York, or some other city that doesn’t offer easy access for all people to fresh foods.

  84. Funny post. Then again I’m a weird American who likes her toast with Vegemite and butter or with grapefruit marmalade served alongside her doppioย espresso. Well done.

  86. Gloria – shopping in grocery stores in other countries is literally one of my favorite things to do when I travel. Something about the combination of the familiar/everyday environment with the unfamiliar foods. Plus, I have a huge sweet tooth so love seeing/buying all the different kinds of sweets.

  87. @78: sweet post.

    As for the Mr. Bieber, he is of course Canadian, not American, and even sings in French. And French folks aren’t really in any position to be talking shit about anybody else’s pop music. Ever heard of Lorie? Or the inexplicably massive Mylene Farmer, who has sold 25 million records in France?

    Though I do have a lifelong massive crush on Francoise Hardy and all the ye-ye girls. And just about my favorite band is French, Watoo Watoo.

    But that’s not what we’re talking about here, is it? We’re talking about trashy magazines. No such thing in cultured France, right? Except for Closer, Voici, Public, or for teens, Phosphor…. Plenty of trash culture in France if you know where to look.

  88. I am so with you on the magazines. I try to avoid celebrity news but the position of those shitty gossip rags at the checkout aisle of the grocery store makes it impossible to not know about (celebrity I’ve never heard of identified by first name only)’s shocking breakup with (other celebrity I’ve never heard of identified by first name only). Gossip is okay only if its both true and about someone you either know personally or have a relevant stake in (like a public official caught in a form of wrongdoing that actually affects you). I do not appreciate having this indecent, irrelevant-to-my-life, lowbrow trash shoved in my face every time I go to buy food!

  90. I do believe he was making a joke about the fantasies many Americans have about life in France i.e. biking to near countryside villages for banquettes and jam. Iโ€™ve never met a French person who thought that life in France was more of a paradise than Americans think it is. Not saying theyโ€™re altogether unpretentious.

  92. @83: I’m with you on Floridian grocery stores. I once had a five-minute go-round with a cashier at a Publix over a) what the hell balsamic vinegar was and b) she wasn’t sure if my WA ID was real because “I never seen them zeroes with lines in ’em.”

  93. So, Julien, you’ve probably noticed by now that some Americans have a hard time laughing at themselves, and don’t get subtle humour (Fnarf: seriously? You’re getting defensive about this?). They like to dish it out, but they don’t like to take it. Secretly, most of them agree with you. And many of them will surprise you.

    The paragraph with the bread and birdsong and sun-caressed skin was great. The whole post was great, and very Stranger-esque, like a combination of Mudede and Lindy West, but with a French twist. I love it!

  97. It’s not offensive as it’s obvious that it’s tongue-in-cheek. However, it’s just a tired and played out idea and while I did find it mildly amusing the overall take wasn’t creative enough to make it worth going there.

    Julien – don’t mind the cranky-pants, keep trying. But try to get a little more original.

  98. Hey Julien at least in America you could become president instead of having 7 generations of family working as janitors in some god awful banlieu. Never met an Arab or African in Paris who didn’t want to get the fuck out and come to America.

    So welcome. You have a lot of Seattle queers in a tither wet dreaming about sucking you off in Le Marais at 2 am.

  99. Peter F @40:

    Curious about this: “et mon cul, c’est du poulet?”

    He’s saying essentially “If the bread in that picture is French, then my ass is chicken.”

    Equivalent to “I’m a monkey’s uncle.”

    dirac @42:

    I actually do think France wins in many ways. I’m sure they have their problems, but the tea partier types aren’t the ones getting all the attention right now.

    Uh, what? Look up Jean-Marie le Pen and his Front National party. They’ve been garnering really astonishing levels of support for their nativist policy, which includes making the death penalty more common, moving away from the EU, anti-abortion and anti-immigration platforms. Sounds pretty Tea Party-esque to me. Le Pen got 16.9% of the votes in the first round presidential election in 2002 and made it to the second round, where he was defeated by Chirac, and 10% in the first round in 2007 with 83.8% turnout (he was defeated by both Sarkozy and Sรฉgolรจne Royal and didn’t make it to the second round).

    What’s more, many pundits attribute the rise of the FN party to a growing backlash against immigration from non-European countries. As far as I know, Le Pen hasn’t suggested that the immigrants are beheading folks in the Loire valley on a regular basis, but if you don’t see any parallels to the Tea Party in FN, I think you’re not looking very hard.

    Most of Europe is struggling with immigration problems and the attendant backlash (wearing burqas to public school and so on), and the nativist parties are the ones shouting the loudest. They get more attention than I’m comfortable with.

  100. @88: Yes, exactly! And I totally agree on the sweets front. When you’re on vacation, candy just makes sense — ready to eat, indulgent, cheap, small.

  101. @88: Oh, and you know what else was fun? Trying their boxed juices, which really spoke to the geographical differences. Not so much apple, a lot more pear and peach, and definitely a penchant for mixed juice. There was an orange/carrot/lemon combo that *owned.*

    It’s kind of silly how much enjoyment I got out of that.

  102. @95, I’m not defensive, I’m merely taking this opportunity to counter some popular misconceptions about the French — that they are invariably classier, better-read, better-fed than us. Julien needs to have his balls crushed a little, it’ll be good for him. And if you’d read the Clarke books I mentioned, you’d see the humor in it. Plus I’m helping push him over 100 comments; he’s one for one so far.

  103. @104 – and after this, just two comments away from overtaking SLLOTD about porn as most commented on. Fucking Frenchies taking American jobs and doing them well!!!

  105. The funny thing is that, a lot of you felt attacked by this post and the clichรฉs about your lifestyle in it (I’m very sorry if your supermarkets are full of crap, but I’m sure there’s also something called Marchรฉ in your big country. If not, I’m willing to accomodate an American in my Parisian flat by pity.) but your only responses to that are others clichรฉs about France.
    Wrong clichรฉs by the way. As for how American lifestyle is terrible I guess.

    Yes in France, we have some crap in our supermarkets, thanks to the American culture which floods our lives everyday. But if I eat some of that crap, then mon cul c’est du poulet.

    And just to clear up a few things :

    -We have restaurants of all kind in France, of every culture, we even have some “dinners” for all our American tourists who line up under la Tour Eiffel (a little tip : we have other things to see) and you can find some of the best sushis in the world in Paris. Just so you know.

    -I never heard of spray cheese in my entire life, this website would be Canadian it wouldn’t surprise me.

    -Le petit Nicolas is a very bad movie. But seriously, between France and the US, which country has the biggest bad movies ratio per year?

    -I’m not on strike right now, but if I’m bored next week, I might consider it. After all, i’m French. Thanks for bringing it to my mind.

    Now I’m gonna sit in an Cafรฉ under la Tour Eiffel, smoking and looking arrogant.

    Hey, see, everyone can feel attacked when you spread some clichรฉs about his country.

  106. How do they manage to make decent wine if their grapes are all as sour as this?

    That being said, my favorite cliche’ about American food is: it’s brown, it’s salty, it has cheese on it, and there’s too much of it.

  107. @105: thank god for that; I never want to talk about porn again!

    @104: yeah, well, I think it’s good for Americans, too. Like Mr. Top here @105 — it’s obvious he’s secretly aching to be dominated by our saucy French friend.

  109. @107, you’re high if you think Parisian sushi can compare with the best of America’s. You lot can do some things very well but foreign cuisines isn’t really one of them. And Paris isn’t even the food capital of France; Lyon is. Even there, though, the horror of the prepackaged frozen bag in the microwave has spread to restaurants all over your country. Wine maven Kermit Lynch recently traveled all across Provence — Provence! — without seeing a single chef in any of the restaurants he visited, only the sound of the bell when the reheating is finished.

    In general, America has more good restaurants than France these days. French cooking is tired and tradition-bound, and the hunger for the freshest possible local ingredients, which is booming in the US, is fading from France — except, ironically, from the young soul rebels who’ve been to the US, seen what is possible there, and returned home.

    Movies, I’ll grant you. And wine. French wine still absolutely rules, and the gap isn’t closing at all.

  110. @Simac : There are way too much mistakes on this website. It must have been translated by some Google robot. And it just proves that there are some French people that love disgusting food.

    @Karlheinz Arschbomber : Please, do not consider that Le Petit Nicolas represents French culture. The trailer was so boring I didn’t go to the theater to see it.

    @Heather : I’ve never seen a Good Morning Toast. But there are some American restaurants that make breakfast, though.

    @mmoffatt : Really? Maybe you haven’t visited the twenty arrondissements of Paris. We have plenty of restaurants from every corner of the world. And the grocery store I visited was not in the suburbs.

    @Peter F : “Et mon cul, c’est du poulet ?” means that my asshole is a chicken if this bread is French. Your pal was not wrong.

    @Lenina : This is just the beginning. In France, we have a proverb that says : “Le meilleur pour la fin”.

    @Troll cop : Well, I’m glad to see that I’m able to pretend I’m a “shitty American writer with a JC education”.

    @Hernandez : Yeah, I know. But I wanted to have fun too and facts-journalists may not be as enjoyable as here.

    @fastenyourseatbelts : For sure, we use some powdered stuff, too. But our Knorr soups will never mix potatoes AND cheese. Or cheese AND brocoli. Or… How can you make a soup with cheese anyway ? That’s the weird part of it. And indeed, we spread butter and jam on toast. But in fact, it’s not a toast : it’s a biscotte and it’s supposed to be cold. Merci du compliment, en tout cas.

    @Fnarf : Sure, we have Lorie but now, she’s kind of retired. And still, she was an accident : no one wanted to produce her, so she performed online and figured it out. We have tabloids magazines too, indeed. And when they do their cover with some Justin Bieber exlusive breaking news, I throw up the same way. However, I cannot believe your Kermit-Lynch-Provence-bell-trip. There’s no way for a gastronomic restaurant to have a microwave.

  112. I was completely unimpressed with the food in the restaurants and supermarkets in Paris. And we did not stay nor shop in the touristy areas. It was disappointing after spending a week in Madrid and eating some of the best food I have ever tasted, all from local (non high end) places. Mmmm ham…..

  114. 107 — …”that American culture” that saved your ass TWICE.

    Feel free to sit there looking arrogant, smoking your cancer as the rest of Western Europe kicks your sorry ass in every other department (economics, Michelin Stars, Eurovision titles)….

    Enjoy your strikes, your cigarettes and your “other” sites to see. BTW, the Picasso Museum sucks ass. The Ludwig Museum in Cologne has a waaaay better Picasso collection.

  118. Like British cuisine, traditional American food is slop. Makes me glad that I have authentic (and inexpensive) Thai, Vietnamese, Korean, Ethiopian, Chinese, Cuban, Indian, Persian, Mexican, Oaxacan, Guatemalan, Greek, Russian, Japanese and Indonesian restaurants within a two mile radius. (For some reason I’ve never come across truly authentic Italian food in the US)

    I feel sorry for my Continental cousins, who have a hard time getting anything similar. Kinda reminds one of traveling through most of the US.

    The closest I came to authentic ethnic food in Europe was a Vietnamese restaurant in Marseilles. For the most part, French food and bistros/restaurants in France are meh, unless you simply want to sit and drink wine and suck up cigarette smoke. As for me, I hate wine and cigarette smoke gives me a headache. Food from nearly anywhere else in the world is better.

  120. So close to knocking Dan out of the top spot on most commented, and on a first post, no less. I predict either a promotion or a Savage-ordered hit job within a week.

  121. Julien, your post is precious! “…to make some shopping.” =)

    Aside from the preserves and the pineapple, I’d never purchase or consume any of the food products you photographed.

  126. @126 You honour us with your comment, it is one of my favourite diversions to notice the way US and British/Canadian English spelling differs. In fact, one could say it colours the whole discourse.

  128. 101 – I am aware of La Pen and the supposed threat of his faction to the establishment there. If I remember correctly, he also said some bad things about the Holocaust awhile ago. So between 2002 and 2007 his popular support dropped by nearly 7% ?

    And I share your unease over support of nativist groups. I was talking generally about support for organized labor in France. I know, making a broad comparison to the US not so good on my part.

  129. christ almighty … you guys are acting like the testy, humourless vegans you were making fun of a day ago. cognitive dissonance anyone?

  130. @120 – I am British, yes, most of our traditional food is crap, um…where exactly could you never ever find decent ethnic cuisine? Five years ago you’d have had trouble, but it’s not too hard to come by now. Not gourmet and not exactly authentic, but not *terrible*.

    I love how this thread has turned into a massive battle of which country has the best restaurants. As a general rule of thumb, in most countries, regardless of what style you’re eating, you get what you pay for. I’m a student, so when I eat out it tends to be mediocre, which is why I learned to cook.

  131. Julien, your stereotype of Americans doesn’t account for Seattle.

    Here, we drive our Prius to Whole Foods where we spend the equivalent of a French civil servant’s salary on precious, locally produced organic foods and imports so exotic you can’t even find them in their countries of origin. Then we joke that Whole Foods should be called “whole paycheck” while failing to mention that we don’t actually draw a paycheck anymore, having already made our millions in the tech industry.

  136. @Will in Seattle: Mort de Rire. I was in a mean and nasty mood so I didn’t want her to understand right away what I meant. Maybe you’ll understand better if I write the English version of it: LOL. *clin d’ล“il*

  138. Moi, je connais trรจs bien les supermarchรฉs europรฉens et je sais qu’on peut trouver ces boites…. Il s’amusait avec les choix disponibles!
    De toute faรงon…J’aimerais bien que Julien vienne ร  mon lycรฉe pour nous parler des diffรฉrences entre les supermarchรฉs! Qu’en pensez-vous, Monsieur? Mes รฉlรจves sont hyper motivรฉs et ils ADORENT quand quelqu’un d’un pays francophone nous rend visite…
    Je vous laisse rรฉflรฉchir, mais j’espรจre que vous accepterez notre invitation!
    MERCI BIEN!

    http://www.ooshop.com/ContentNavigation.…
    Ananas Coupe Dessert au jus d’ananas
    Del Monte
    1,90 โ‚ฌ
    La boite de 340g รฉgouttรฉs
    5,59 โ‚ฌ / Kg

    Lasagnes ร  la bolognaise
    Informations
    Rapide et gourmand, ce plat saura vous ravir en 2mn.
    Conseils d’utilisation
    Au four ร  micro-ondes: Percez le film plastique du compartiment plusieurs fois.
    Placez la barquette au centre du micro-ondes et faites rรฉchauffer 2 ร  3 minutes selon la puissance du four.
    Agitez doucement et retirez le film plastique ร  l’aide de la languette.
    An bain-marie: plongez la barquette dans une casserole d’eau frรฉmissante pendant 8 minutes environ (ne pas retirer ni percer le film plastique).
    Passez la barquette sous l’eau froide, agitez doucement et retirez le film plastique ร  l’aide de la languette.

  140. Dude, I’ve been living and working in France for almost two years now and while I may be from Canada and not the US, I can say that a lot of what you just wrote is total BS.

    The fruit moisturizing system? They have it at the Attac in Salins-les-Bains, a dinky town of less than 3000 people. And I’ve seen it at Monoprix in Paris and elsewhere as well.

    I have had seriously shitty baguettes across France, as well as shitty patisseries. French bakery doesn’t automatically equal good bakery I’m sorry to say.

    Pineapple packs? I’ve seen those and many other fruits in syrup, either in sizes like that or in bulk.

    There is just as much shitty, pre-packaged garbage in France as there is in North America. A far more interesting article would have made note of how different cultural staples can be found canned and ready-made. I still marvel at seeing canned cassoulet, or ratatouille in a jar. Normal for France, but at home it might be split pea soup or tourtiere.

    And as for your orgasmic breakfast fantasy? When our tour found itself located near a rooter, there was no idyllic breakfast, but plots of coq-au-vin for dinner. I fail to see how a trip to the grocery store could ever compare to a holiday breakfast in the countryside, regardless of the country. You’re comparing apples and oranges.

    If you’re going to bitch about anything, bitch about the quality and the cost of cheese. Or will that be another post?

  141. wow so petty and provincial.

    France is wondeful, couldn’t have beaten cornwallis without them….

    our food is gross. theirs is way better. No doubt.

    and btw who has six weeks paid vacation, payments to parents for having children, national health care and great public transit, mmmmmmmmmmmm?

    they’re entitled to be a bit snobby.

  142. And I have a can of Kiwi-flavored Pringles from China in my house. What’s your point? (no, I have not been brave enough to try them)

    Try a farmer’s market. You’ll be more at home and find a larger number of people there than the grocery store, if Seattle is anything like DC.

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