Welcome to Seattle! We’re all going to die.
At least, that’s what they tell me.
Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, I’ve been hearing about “the Big One” my whole life. I was born two weeks after Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980 and thrown, naked and screaming, into a world still reeling from the catastrophic reminder that the Pacific Northwest is riddled with fault lines and active volcanos.
The fear was further embedded into my brain in elementary school, as we practiced earthquake drills more often than fire drills and took field trips to the mountain to stand in the aftermath of nature’s unapologetic power—while being told, “It will happen again.”
It’s not just the Northwest obsessed with the idea of the Big One, either. The whole world knows this corner of the country is fucked. In 2015, The New Yorker published an article titled “The Really Big One,” a horrifically detailed 6,000-word description of the certain doom awaiting Washington the instant the Cascadia subduction zone—a 700-mile fault line that stretches from Vancouver Island, Canada to Cape Mendocino, California—snaps. The 9.1 magnitude earthquake will be the least of our worries, it turns out. A tsunami will form 42-foot waves in the Puget Sound and wash slices of civilization out to sea. Lahars, rivers of mud and debris capable of reaching hundreds of feet deep and traveling 45-50 miles per hour, will flow from Mount Rainier and obliterate everything in their path for miles. It’s not if, it’s when.
It’s really a shame, too, because Seattle is so fucking great! Sure, we here at The Stranger talk a lot of shit about this city—I mean, as we put this issue to bed, the cop-loving City Council is preparing to vote on whether or not to give the Seattle Police Department (which is under investigation for gender discrimination and sexual harassment) $96 million in back pay and raises just days after the Seattle School Board voted to possibly close 20 of Seattle’s 70 elementary schools for budgetary reasons (priorities!)—but flaws and inevitable extinction be damned, I love this city. And I want you to love it, too.
So, to ensure you experience the best possible version of Seattle, The Stranger’s writers compiled this list of 99 things you need to do to truly “get” Seattle. Whether you’re here for a weekend or a lifetime, I hope you’ll flip through this issue and feel inspired to get out there and explore, to find the coolest and weirdest and most surprising and delicious aspects of the city. You know, the stuff you’re really, really gonna miss when it’s all gone. Because it’s coming. The Big One? Any day now.
Megan Seling, Culture Editor
Attractions & Landmarks
Welcome to Our Weird Little Corner of the Country
Arts & Culture
Only in Seattle Can You Scream in a Museum and Dance to Robyn at Church
Food & Drink
The Best Side of Seattle Is Waiting for You at the Hot Dog Cart
Music & Nightlife
From Punk Shows at Roller Rinks to Trivia Nights Hosted By Jeopardy! Champs
Outdoors
Sure, the View Is Beautiful, but It’s Gonna Kill Us All
Shopping
Because You Can’t Take It With You
Extra Credit
Adventures That Require a Bit More Time, Money, and/or a Willing Grindr Date
The 99 Things to Do Checklist!
Download This Free PDF to Keep Track of Your Progress
This guide looks amazing, I can’t wait to read it!