Our How to Seattle guide is filled with 101 very great recommendations of all the cool shit to do in Seattle. You’re welcome! But now that we’re friends, we have some real talk, tough love about the things you should not do while you’re here. We see people making these mistakes all the time. And we hate it. Ignore our advice at your own peril!
Don’t Say “Pike’s Place”
The quickest way to out yourself as a newcomer or tourist is to refer to Pike Place Market as “Pike’s Place.” In fact, famous Seattleite Ken Jennings recently corrected a contestant who lost points by making the familiar faux pas on Jeopardy!, adding, “We’re sticklers in Seattle.” In 2021, Ballard High School grad and Hacks actress (and queen of my heart) Jean Smart also told the Seattle Times that the misplaced possessive “s” was also a pet peeve of hers. Mispronouncing Puyallup, Sequim, Tukwila, Mukilteo, or Spokane is also a dead giveaway, so try to brush up on your local vocab to avoid embarrassing yourself. JULIANNE BELL
Don’t Skimp on the Tip
Seattle currently has one of the highest minimum wages in the entire country, and tourists often use that as an excuse not to have to tip well or at all. Don’t be that jerk. Service industry workers still very much rely on tips to round out their paychecks. In 2024, CNBC declared Seattle the eighth most expensive city in the world based on factors such as cost of living, rent, and groceries. Even the highest minimum wage isn’t a living wage in this city. (Blame our local billionaire-ass-sucking politicians.) When visiting bars and restaurants, don’t skimp on the tip. MEGAN SELING
Don’t Rent a Scooter
Three companies offer e-scooter rental services in Seattle, and last year they combined for a total of 6.3 million rides. They’re very popular! But in some people’s hands, they’re also a dangerous nuisance. The rules are simple: Stay off sidewalks and ride in bike lanes when possible. If you ride around like an asshole, darting in and out of traffic or riding on sidewalks at full speed, you’re not only gonna piss people off, but you might be on the receiving end of a pricey hospital bill. Last year, Harborview saw more than 160 serious injuries caused by rentable e-scooters and e-bikes. Some riders have died. Some riders have been involved in road rage incidents. You’d be better off walking or taking public transportation. MEGAN SELING
Okay, Fine, Rent a Scooter, but Don’t Throw It off a Bridge
Fine. Rent a scooter. They can be convenient, and there are a lot of hills here. But do NOT leave your scooter in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking a crosswalk, or blocking a bike lane. And definitely do not throw it off a bridge. People do that! And you know what? It’s someone’s job to go get that scooter, no matter where it ends up. Don’t make their lives harder. Park it off to the side of pathways or in a designated scooter or bike parking area. MEGAN SELING
Don’t Wait in Line for More than 15 Minutes at Hey Bagel
It’s true that Hey Bagel, the new-this-year bagel shop in the University Village, offers some of the best New York-style bagels you’ll find in Seattle. They’re baked fresh throughout the day and sold warm. They don’t cut ’em, they don’t toast ’em, they don’t make ’em into sandwiches—you get a bagel and a little container of cream cheese and just rip ’n’ dip right there in the shop. That said, if you want a more varied bagel experience, or if the line at Hey Bagel is more than 15 minutes or so, head to Bloom Bistro in Georgetown. According to a recent blind taste test at The Stranger offices, they’re just as good, if not a little better! And they’ll make ’em into fancy sandwiches stacked high with all kinds of fillings, too. MEGAN SELING
Don’t Depend on Public Restrooms, They Don’t Exist
Shit happens, but not in Seattle. Our city is actually notorious for having very few (and very inadequate) public restrooms. The most recent count, reported by Fox 13 in February, stands at 100. For the whole city! New York has more than a thousand! That’s about how many Starbucks stores we have! How embarrassing. MEGAN SELING
Don’t You Dare Speak One Word on the Bus
When you step onto a King County Metro Bus, you will notice no one is talking. We like to keep it this way. If anyone takes a phone call, or—god forbid—strikes up a conversation with their seat partner, everyone on the bus will listen, and we will judge. We want to hear every pin drop and every inhale and exhale so we know we are alive. But don’t mistake our interest in life for an actual interest in life on the bus. If there is conversation, people might get the wrong idea that we’re a big, bustling metropolis instead of a sleepy fishing village—an identity we still cling to. We cannot have that. If you see something, do not fucking say something. Keep it quiet. NATHALIE GRAHAM
Stay the Fuck Away From Bike Lanes
Unless you’re a local, stay far away from our bike lanes. We see bike lane abuse all day, every day—people drive in them, park in them, and leave their rented scooters or e-bikes blocking the paths. Things have gotten so bad, in fact, Seattleites have started several social media accounts dedicated to shaming bad bike lane behavior. Don’t become a viral post on Bluesky. Stay the fuck away from bike lanes if you don’t know what you’re doing. MEGAN SELING
Don’t Be a Jerk for No Reason
Look, there’s a lot to be bummed about, we get it. We all have stuff going on in our personal lives. It costs $290 to leave the house. No one here understands how a roundabout works. We’re not even going to mention the news. And yeah, sometimes the idea of other people is downright annoying. That said, it’s time to get over ourselves a little, no? Seattle might be dark and soggy eight months out of the year, but if we all put a little effort into being a little friendlier (or, bare minimum, not glaring at people you pass on the sidewalk), we might be onto something. EMILY NOKES
Don’t Use an Umbrella
It’s not that we’re against umbrellas. Some locals love them! We have an annual music and arts festival named after them! But umbrella use in Seattle is a privilege, not a right. Every day, we’re subject to bumbling bumbershoot carriers strolling through crowded spots like Pike Place Market and farmers markets with their umbrellas at full mast, with little to no regard for who’s standing nearby. Hundreds of Seattleites lose an eye every rainy season due to tourists’ umbrella negligence (probably), and even more umbrella carriers lose a tooth after getting punched in the face by a disgruntled local. Best not to risk it, just brave the rain. MEGAN SELING
Many decades ago, I had a part-time job selling popcorn off a little cart at Rainier Square (the SE corner of 4th and Union, to be precise).
Standing on that corner in November, frotting the kettle on the popcorn cart to stay warm (happily, the old Rainier Square had sizable overhangs, so I mostly didn’t have to worry about getting wet. Cold was another matter) I would see people with umbrellas approach the wind canyon that is Union Street. Nine times out of ten they would experience rapid unplanned disassembly of their umbrellas.
Back in the fancy clothing days, Seattle businessmen would just scowl, hold onto their old-timey hat, and handle it with NW stoicism. Old school Seattle women (business and otherwise), who were understandably worried about their weekly rinse and sets, would pull their foldable plastic rain bonnets out of their enormous handbags (the same handbags they kept their store/office/restaurant high heels in) and snap them on. Those plastic rain bonnets were also good to entertaining fidgety toddlers who were looking for something to play with at church.
Times change and fashions change, but the wind from the sound is eternal, and the buildings only make it worse.
As for the bike lanes, have at it. They cycling hobbyists will get terse and brusque, but that’s part of the fun.
@2: You may recall Bernie Utz Hats had a storefront on the north side of Union, midway between Third and Fourth, for decades. I always joked it was the perfect place to sell hats, as Union Street’s “wind tunnel,” as you so nicely put it, made it impossible to keep one. 🙂
I still have a fedora I bought there.
I’m sorry, but expecting people to just keep tipping on top of a $21 minimum wage is crazy. For a few places where I go regularly, sure, but in general – no. Food prices are out of control here – significantly higher than other major metros – and expecting another 15+% on top of that isn’t happening.
“Our city is actually notorious for having very few (and very inadequate) public restrooms.”
Gee I wonder why? To quote you, “how embarrassing”:
“Seattle’s $5 million automated public toilets sold for $12,000”
“Seattle has officially washed its hands of the five self-cleaning toilets.
The toilets cost the city $5 million. They sold on eBay Thursday evening for $12,549.”
“The high-tech public toilets, with sanitizing water jets and automatic doors, were installed in 2004 to accommodate tourists and transients in Pioneer Square, Capitol Hill, the central waterfront, Pike Place Market and the Chinatown International District. But the city canceled its contract this spring after the commodes became filthy hide-outs for drug use and prostitution.”
https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/seattles-5-million-automated-public-toilets-sold-for-12000/
B^2 dear, if you don’t want to tip, don’t tip. If the service worker gives you side eye, that’s none of your concern.
Tensorna dear, I well remember that hat store. They had a magnificent sign, and the inside was right out of the 1940’s
As far as public toilets go, I do not beleive that there is a high-tech solution, you need to go old school: hire attendants to keep the place clean and stocked, make sure the plumbing gets attended to, and make sure that no one is shooting up, having sex, dealing drugs, or any of the other things that plague non-attended public toilets.
Oh dear, I misspelled “believe”. Mrs. Vel-DuRay regrets the error.
But as long as I’m here, I’ll add this – those public toilets need to be utilitarian. It’s about being able to perform a bodily function in a safe and hygienic manner. We’re not talking about the ladies restroom at I. Magnin.