Never, in all my decades on this planet, have I slept with a married or otherwise involved man, despite the dozens who have lied and tried and begged and pleaded. It has always been one of my most fundamental values because I am a feminist, and the sisterhood is sacred.
But when I learned you voted for Trump, thereby voting against women, yourself, your daughters, and every other position of integrity (and sanity!), I decided the consequence for your behavior is that you are no longer eligible for my solidarity. So when he begged and pleaded, I fucked your husband. And I would absolutely do it again if it had lasted more than two minutes. Good luck with the hottest spot in hell.Â
Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we'll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.