I’ve finally accepted that I have feelings for you. My favorite part about coming into that bar is to see you. I love when there’s a lull in the rush and you come over to me to talk. I’ve loved just sitting and staring at you talk about your hobbies and your favorite things. I honestly don’t know the first thing about them, but I love seeing your face light up when you talk about them, and I love how excited you get when you tell me about what you have planned. You make me belly laugh, and you have such a goofy sense of humor.
I want to be more forward, but I’m scared. I’m scared you don’t feel the same. I’m scared that the hour-long talks at the end of the night or the glances I catch from you across the room are all innocent, platonic, or otherwise lack a deeper meaning. And if you do like me back, then I’m scared that acting on our feelings will ruin what we have. What if it doesn’t work out? I’ll never be able to come into that bar again. What about all of our mutual friends? What if I’m completely delusional and you get creeped out by me?
There’s also HIM. You don’t have to worry about me wanting him. He does what he can when he shows up there to get me to go home with him. I never do. He makes me feel unsafe. You make me feel safe. I know you would stand up and say something to him in a heartbeat if I gave you just one look of fear or uncertainty when he’s around. Just know that I see through him and I don’t want him. I do what I can in the moment to keep the peace, and I know it may seem that I’m reciprocating his feelings towards me, but I’m not. I want you. I hope one day I can stop being a chickenshit and just tell you how I feel. Or maybe you might do that, too?
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You have mutual friends. Test the water with them, and if negative, let that side of the relationship go. You are coming to their workplace, and they are treating you well, which they should. Don’t confuse the two and ruin the fun place you visit. Tread lightly. Also, tell HIM that you’re not interested in anything but fun conversation; that’s it.
1 has extremely solid advise. Try to tactfully use some go-betweens. It’ll improve the chances of saving a relationship that could be platonic and lovely if romantic vibes aren’t matching.
But also….sweety effing JEEBUS. Once again, such a boring I,A. Spice it up, folks! Exaggerate! Stay truthful to whatever you’re trying to communicate but put some damned effort into it. And for the love of gawd, if there’s a “him” or “her” involved, give them a pseudonym “Carl” or “Dingus” or “Blue Girl.” Constantly reading about people with only a pronoun as reference is tiresome.
Anyhow…D+. Try harder.
Why does this read like an 8th grader’s diary entry?
Maybe that was a little harsh. Anyway. It’s kind of sweet. That being said, take the chance or get off the pot.
Go for it! You only live once. Don’t regret never acting on your feelings!