Posted inI, Anonymous

Careless Whisperers

Credit: Steven Weissman

To the haphazard brass band marching up and down E. Olive Way playing “Careless Whisper” for hours on a TUESDAY night: Thanks for letting me know I am, in fact, getting too old for Capitol Hill’s antics. 

I moved into my apartment for less than $1,000 per month in 2021. I always said I’d hang onto this unit forever. But as I laid awake at midnight listening to your twelfth shoddy rendition of “Careless Whisper,” I realized that I AM getting old. But, any way you slice it, playing music that loud and long on a weeknight is rude.

I hope all your phone chargers die.

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3 replies on “Careless Whisperers”

  1. This song you mention, Careless Whispers, was written by this guy with two first names. George Michael. It’s like, Hey I cannot decide what my first name is so I will pretend like i I can’t think of a last name so I’ll put two stupid white guy first names together and then make a lot of stupid pop songs that a bunch of dummies will play and annoy people with. Cool. You can google the lyrics, terrible lyrics of course.

    Adam Scott

    Elton John

    Matt Damon

    Anderson Cooper

    Ricky Martin

    Amy Adams

    Max George

    Rachel Zoe

    Sean William Scott (trifecta)

    Kevin James

    Peter Alexander

    There are a billion others. Just a few examples.

    It’s funny, like, OK, I need to make up a fake name for myself, so I am way too lazy to think up one with a real first and last name so I’ll just have two first names.

    It’s super stupid.

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