This is for the random compliment givers. Specifically, the person who stopped me mid-crosswalk a Friday or two ago in Ballard and said, “I love your top! It looks so good! Are you kidding me?!” and the person who, about an hour later, said, “I just have to tell you I love your look!”
Neither of you knew that I took that top on and off multiple times over multiple days, awash in self-doubt, debating whether it was okay to look that way, to wear something I felt hot in. I don’t fully understand my complicated reluctance to wear sexy things, but I appreciate that your words have been playing in my head when I look in the mirror. How lovely and refreshing to hear my inner dialogue saying nice things about my body instead of negative ones!
So to all the compliment givers, keep it up. You don’t know whose day/week/month/year you’re making or whose neural pathways you’re helping to rewire.
Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.
God, I can’t believe you wrote such a stupid and idiotic I Anon.
(I kid, I KID!! Good, solid post!!! I’m generally not much a fan of talking to, or being talked to by strangers. But I absolutely agree that if someone is going to do so, a friendly compliment is very likely a best case scenario.)
Is it safe to say that the line between “made my day” and “street harassment” is that the compliments centered on the article of clothing or the overall “look” and not on the body parts the clothing was draped over? Or is it just a general absence of an “unwanted sexual interest” vibe?
@2 The difference is how the person receiving the comment decides to take it. It could have gone either way, which is a little sad, since civility is lost when people stay silent and look ahead instead of saying hello or other nice comments. That said, I agree that how you say it and what you say matter.
@2 the main thing that gets compliments is part of my body (I have a huge thick beard) so for me it’s more about how it’s said and what the compliment is.
I always feel that getting complimented on clothing is weird because all I did was buy it… so then I feel the need to explain where I bought it from to give them credit.
Likes are free but letting other people decide how you feel about yourself is expensive because it gives your power away to someone else. Wanna be hot? Then dress hot! Wanna not, then don’t! It’s all yours, girl, go and get it every way you wanna be!